I am very new to growing, and very scared I will mess it up. I had to watch my mother succumb to breast cancer, and it was the most awful thing I have ever had to witness. During her 4 year battle, she was given every drug they have. She lost weight, and became a shadow of the amazing woman she was. During her last year, a cousin brought over some marijuana for her to try. She was down to 90lbs by then. She refused to take pain medication, as she wanted to "savor" every moment she had, and "not forget" the life she had lived. Her pain was apparent to all of us. When she first smoked, she felt a little queasy, but then she started laughing, then she wanted fried chicken. Go figure???? I was never for or against marijuana, because I never had any experience with it, but seeing the way it transformed Mom's last year, made me a believer. My siblings did not share my belief, but they went along with it, because Mom asked them to. She lived for another 11 months, and she ate foods she never had tried, she told jokes, she laughed, she enjoyed her family, and she used a lot of marijuana. She also asked that her children understand what she was doing. I bought her a Volcano vaporizer, and my mom and I began smoking together!!! I was surprised that it made me so relaxed, and was ALOT different that painkillers. I had some experience with those, unfortunately, as I was in a very bad car accident as a teen. I think that is where Mom developed the notion that painkillers were a scourge. Seeing me lose myself in the piankillers was hard for Mom, but she was so proud when I refused to take them anymore. I was 14 years old, and put on morphine. My friend that was driving, survived the car accident, but not the addiction that followed. It really left Mom questioning the intentions of the medical profession. We had so many long talks, and sometimes, we didn't even talk, just sat there. But she was adamant that marijuana had given her what she needed to continue fighting......perspective. After her funeral, my siblings told me that the disapproved greatly of the time I spent with Mom, because of what we were doing with that time. They also disapproved that I was the one that would get her the marijuana. I understood there feelings, but I tried to explain all that Mom and I spoke about, her thoughts on marijuana. But it is illegal here, and my sister in law is a policewoman, so it put her in a predicament. Anyway, they told me after mom's will is read, they would like me to leave the area, and take my habit with me. So I plan on learning how to grow, and then getting that to people with cancer. Mom said if it could help one person, then that is the reward. I miss her so much, and want to honor what a valiant woman she was. I am no longer on the ins with my family, so I am out in it, and on my own. I am hoping that I can find something tangible here, maybe be accepted. It is nice to finally be able to tell people that I BELIEVE in the healing powers of this plant!!!!!