Getting high with the youngin's

[Highlighter]

I don't have children, but I got 3 sister-in-laws, all divorced w/ kids, so I've been a surrogate dad to 'em all in one way or another.
Anyway, back on Thanksgiving I was at one of said sis's, watching football. The women had all left to walk off dinner. Father-in-law was passed out, mouth agape. One nephew got up and headed to the can. Upon doing so, my other nephew leans into me, handing me over a baggie, saying "Maybe this will be good for your condition", referring to recent medical woes I've been undergoing.
Well this flat out blew me away! I maybe a long-haired hippie type, but have never given any of the kids reason to think I puffed.
For his part, my nephew is a real good kid, HS class president and all. Figured he's tried it out but never figured him for a stoner!
I replied quickly, "How 'bout a trade?" and proceeded to lead him out to our vehicle where I had a jar stashed, hoping to visit some friend's on the way home to gift them some of my outdoor harvest. (Heri-A --- Herijuana X Apollo-11)
He was hoping to burn then but I was too paranoid to risk my head on a pole if found out by my wife and his mom!
Come Xmas I stealthly slipped him a nice jar of Sweet Tooth 3, Apollo-11, Trainwreck, and some bubble hash. He was estatic, and I just got an Email from him in college saying he just finished it and how he loved every toke.
I promised him a B-day jar come May. Still a little aprehensive about toking w/ him, only cause of the potential fallout from wife/mom.
Have gotten high w/ kids his age plenty, but just find it weird thinking of him as the little kid I helped rear.
Figured there were other's here w/ similar stories. What say?

 

[mauie]

same situation here

same situation here

my neighbors kids (all 6 of them) call me Auntie ... last year one of the younger ones (19 i think) lit up with no hesitation in front of me ... WOW it blew my mind for a minute.

i didnt know how to react ... like should i knock the damn thing out of her mouth? well i calmed down and everything went great. i have NOT smoked with her yet, but my hubby has. last summer we shared a 6 plant grow (actualy she took 4 of the 6) and have started our 1st ever indoor grow together. i have a pix of her when she was 2 or so standing in front of a 15' mexican sativa growing in the back yard.

socialy we smoke hookah w/ fruit flavored tobac. together about once a week, and i guess were both too shy to smoke weed with each other still.

mauie

 

[fupDuck]

I smoke up with my 19 yr old son every day - right now, I'm holding my last bud of bogbubble until he gets home from work, then we will burn it

 

[zunny]

Well, This is a tough subject for me.

I have been a single parent to my 15 year old daughter since she was six months. I have not openly smoked in front of her, nor have I told her that I smoke or grow. I have a little office in the house that is off limits to her. The door is locked behind me every time I exit. It is the only place I smoke. It's also where my little bitty micro grow is located. If she asks me, I will be truthful, honest and open. For now, I have decided not to tell her unless she asks.

Now, here is the kicker. My first marriage produced a Son (my oldest) He is 23 years old. His mother and I were divorced when he was four years old. She was granted full custody and moved to a New England State. I was granted the typical bullshit visitation and two weeks each summer. Unfortunately, the child support papers would not allow me to take him out of the state in which they resided. I wrote lots of letters, sent gifts for EVERY occasion (XMAS, Easter, B-Day, Halloween...etc.) and tried to call him at least once every two weeks.

It was tough cause I was mostly stationed overseas during my 21 years in the USMC. I did manage to spend a few summers (one week) with him. His Mother made things VERY DIFFICULT for me.... Well, Although she told him I was worse than the Boogieman and all kinds of other lies, I chose not to bad mouth her since he HAD to live with the bitch. I always thought to myself "When he is 17 or 18 years old, he will want to come live with me."

I got a call from him the day after his 18th birthday asking if he could come stay with me for a while. I was the happiest guy you would ever want to meet! I sent him a ticket for a flight the next week and started to prepare for his arrival.

I have a mother-in law cottage on my property. I fixed it all up with a new stereo, TV, fridge...etc. I also fixed up the spare room in the house. I thought I would let him decide where he wanted to stay. Since he said he would be looking for work as a Carpenter, I also had a job waiting for him (to start when he was ready). I took a weeks vacation and picked him up from the airport.

I hardly recognized him. His hair was green, blue and blond and cut into some type of Mohawk. His arms were covered in tatoo's and he was wearing size 50 jeans on his skinny ass 30 inch waist. He had friggin 10 earrings in each ear; his eyebrow, chin and tongue were also pierced. LOL I took a deeeeeeep breath, walked over to him and gave him the biggest bear hug I could imagine...

While waiting for luggage we engaged in small talk and I was surprised to see that he was so well mannered as well as intelligent. He was excited to meet his half sister (he had talked with her on the phone countless times but had never met her). Walking to the car, he lit a cigarette. I didn’t say a word except "Why in the world did you start smoking?".... He just shrugged, smiled and said he wasn’t hooked, just liked them.

As soon as we left the airport, he said he was nervous. I laughed and said I was nervous too. He then asked if he could smoke a joint. I was in shock. However, I explained that I occasionally partook in God's Green Herb and that it was okay with me but PLEASE don't do it in the house, or in front of your sister. He agreed and we smoked the nasty ass Schwagg joint that he produced....

During the ride home (1.5 hours) it was determined that he would stay in the cottage. He seemed to like the idea (it is only about 150' from my back deck and has a wonderful view of the Ocean). Once we got home, I hooked him up with some REAL herb... LOL My daughter was staying at a friend’s house that evening purposely so the boy and I could do a little bonding... It was one of the most memorable nights of my life. I was beaming with pride, happiness and utter disbelief that he was actually sitting in front of me.

Fast-forward three months...... I am beginning to miss money, marijuana, and tools. Every time I asked him if he took something, he always fessed up and apologized. He was constantly laying out of work and never had any money. His girlfriend (who was basically living with him in the cottage) was caught red-handed by my daughter going through stuff in my bedroom. It was just getting worse and worse. I was talking to deaf ears. He was turning into a complete stereotypical stoner with no ambition. I even started to charge him rent for the cottage (which I never got a dime ) His reply to me was "Look at you Dad. You smoke pot and you turned out okay... "

Nothing was working with him. Unfortunately I think Marijuana was not helping at all. A couple of times, when I had mentioned that he would not be allowed to stay if he didn’t straighten up, he said that he would turn me in (He didn't know about my grow though... I’m glad I never showed him that). He always came back over to the house and apologized and said that he would never do such a thing. It finally came to a head one evening when I asked him if he had taken 300 bucks out of my dresser. He admitted it. I told him he was gonna have to find another place to live. I would give him two weeks.... Well, he cried, I cried and my daughter thought I was the meanest thing on earth. The next morning he was gone. I have not seen or talked to him since... He calls my daughter about once a month. His Mother will not give me any information at all. I am praying that he comes to his senses soon.

I think my two main mistakes were: Allowing him to smoke pot openly and letting him live so comfortably on his own while I paid all the bills... I just thought I had to make some things up to him. I see how wrong I was.

I would also not have thrown him out but moved his ass into the house with a few rules and made him earn his way back into the cottage...

I’m rambling, I’m sorry. This thread made me think of him tonight.....

 

[OG otis]

well..
let me offer a different point of view

i am the kid that smoked weed with his parent (mom)

my mom was a teenager when i was born..
so.... i was one of those kids with the "hip/young" mother who went out with musicians and smoked weed and had freinds that grew professionally back in the late 70's/early 80's

we would smoke a joint as the house and watch sat. night live on those shitty rainy winter nights when i was a young teen..
we also smoked a fat doobie and watched harold and maude and wizards at the midnight movie (i guess i am showing my age now ) some very good memories...

but for the record....with everything said and done..

i would wait to smoke with my kids, if i was ever to smoke with them, until they are at least 25 and have their shit together..

kids need a mom or a dad......
they have plenty of freinds, they only have one of you.
mom or dad doesnt need to be "cool" and get high with them, they need to be the bedrock that we all need from a parent to develop into stable adults.

i say this as the kid of a pot smoker....and as a man that is close to 40.

gunny....
that is a bitch of a problem....i'm sorry...i think not smoking weed with your son would'nt have changed his actions at all.....the only thing it did was give him a cop out.

i was that kid with the tattoos and the fucked up hair, but by the time i was 18, i was way done with any kind of hokey shit that your son was doing.
the biggest reason was the all lessons and standards and love that was showed to me by my stepfather....who also happens to be a former marine

 

[elmo quist]

Gunny, my heart goes out to ya, mate. But don't beat yourself up over it; you did what you thought was right at the time and now you have learned from it. Do take into consideration that it is obvious that the boy's mother ran a very loose and permissive ship raising him, so the damage was already done. And speaking as a prodigal son, sometimes the very best love a parent can show is also the toughest--in my case it was. I pray it all works out for ya.

Smoke with the youngsters? I keep getting this mental picture in my head of my (Mr. Straight) dad asking me, "How about a few bongloads after dinner, son? I scored some really killer kind bud......"

It's too much.

 

[OG otis]

". Do take into consideration that it is obvious that the boy's mother ran a very loose and permissive ship raising him, so the damage was already done."

true.......
and also the fact that at the age of 18 he was still being a "kid" and not showing his old man the respect he should have showed his father who was being more than cool with the studio apartment and all the extras that so many 18 year olds would so love to have.

you can do only what you can do gunny..
he's your son, worts and all, you love him and you can only hope that that he will come around someday.

he's 23....i'd give it a couple years.

 

[Maddog]

At the age of 18 I was a terrible disappointment to my father. I had dropped out of college; leaving a full scholarship; growing my hair down to my shoulders and wearing jeans that were more patches than denim.

Today I use the word "estranged" to describe the next seven years or so.

Without going into the tearful details, there came a day when I was 25 that my father was able to stand in front of me and say, "You're not the man I wanted you to be, but I am damned proud of the man you have become."

These days the old man, who lives half a world away, and I Yahoo "chat" on a daily basis. He's 84.

Everything changes.

MD

 

[Peg Leg Pete]

Boy o boy. One of my friends has a son that 14 years old the kid a real shit distuber in mean he's always stealing bud from his pop. His pop is nice to him give the kid some buds to smoke and the kid still steals as much bud as he can find. The kid also tryed to make meth in his dads kitchen. I mean what the fuck. Now there sending him to rehab hopefully everything turns out a-ok.

 

[Guest]

Well, Now for my perspective... I too am the son of a pot smoker dad and stepmom, and a Religious fanatic, ex-pot smoker mom and stepdad... Oh Boy, right? Yeah... Long story short: raised by mom from 11-17 being told how evil Pot and my father are, although I still saw my father regularly and had a relationship, Started smoking Pot at 16, got caught by mom stealth(not enuff) growing, and kicked out. Went to live w/dad, started smoking w/him. started ripping him off/ lying/ laying out of work type shit. Ripped A nice Grow from him... and Left... 7 Years of 'estrangement', and I had gotten my head out of my ass and Knew I had to make things right, so I calls him up to apologise, We have been tight for the last five or six years, and even done a grow together... Don't give up hope on your irresponsible pothead kids, I grew up OK, although I made myself a Damn hard road...

 

[Guest]

toughest thing for me........

toughest thing for me........

bein a stoner since I guess 10th grade, on and off over the years.......i had a hard time seein my kids come home stoned. never thought about it much.......kids get killer grades, oldest has finished college youngest starts this fall, no troubles cept the normal kid stuff.

first ime they came home stoned i couldnt figure out what to say to um...........Im sure they knew just from the smell alone that I smoked.

I sat um down one at a time and tried to just explain a stoners life style, what there gettin into, the good side the bad side and what consequences could result if they didnt keep there guard up.

they ask for a nug every now and again, and i have smoked with both of um. they are both responsible users to the best of my knowledge.

as long as a kid is mature and of course has had the direction, love and affection a parent can give I dont see a problem.

sometimes theres nothin a parent can do with there kids.......they revolt no matter what.

hang in there gunny, from what I know of ya your boy will come around and see that the hard love was true love for him

always a pleasure
CBF

 

[Zoe]

I love the yungins

I love the yungins

heavenhigh I love getting high with the kids here ..under 33 and to me you are a kid........They make up most of my family are the kids.........Besides there is hardly any female grownups my age so I have no choice and i guess I perfer their company anyway............They seem to gather around me and I love it...... I also spend alot of energy helping these kids out......Our common thread is pot .......................Bring the kids on.........I figure if they want to hang out with me I must be doing something right

 

[viper]

Yes Zoe, you are ......

 

[oldmantoke]

I actually stopped smoking when we had kids. (2 boys 2 years apart)

Both of them were raised well and have respect for people and an understanding of responsibilities. (i feel very fortunate)

The older one is 19 and we now smoke all the time together.

The younger one is the exact opposite (jock) and does not do any drugs or drink.

We all get along great as a family.

I think me not smoking for 19 years had something to do with the way things worked out.

 

[Guest]

Forgive me for belaboring the obvious, but I am a cannabis consumer - for 40 years now - and I do not steal, I am a hard worker, an excellent spouse and father. I treat my dog better than many folks treat their kids. Just because someone consumes cannabis does not mean that they have no morals. Your kids will give you back what you give them.

Gunny, your ex taught you son all of the things that he has learned. She has given him by her example a guide for the kind of person he is/will be. It is too late for you to fix it. Cross your fingers for him, do not accept more blame than is due you and go on with your life according to your morals. There is no profit in guilt and no making up for things that have been set in stone for years.


peace

 

[Guest]

I smoke up with my 19 yr old son every day - right now, I'm holding my last bud of bogbubble until he gets home from work, then we will burn it

Adoption? Ever thought about it? Me? Please?



Reading this is good shit, y'all. I wish my Father and I could toke. I have to settle for my bud-hungry, selfish uncles instead.

 

[AlexanderS]

i am 24, prolly too young to be postin here but i realy like the thread. i have seen both sides of the coin. Gunny, dont bring yourself down too much, you did the best you could do, the rest is up to him, and i have seen the same thing(3 kids, two good, one bad, always stealing and lying, and i meen to extremes, from parents to friends to stores to anyone he can do it to, hell, he stole a wallet from a handycapped guy who could barely walk or talk proper and thought nothing of it, always denys it, and realy is a all around piece of shit that dosnt realy deserve to breath.) happen to a wonderful couple, some times it can be from to leinient of a up bringing sometimes it just happens, either way you didnt cause this. i know it hurts and i am sorry that things happen the way they do, but in the end we all answer to someone. do the best you can do and even if someone else faults you atleast you know you did what you thought was right. also, i find that kids need a stone, someone to depend on, to know whats right and teach it to them, even if they dont know it, they do, but there comes a time where it can go either way, and either they still need that stone or they have grown up enough that they are ready for you to be a friend, sometimes that never happens, but until it does i wouldnt smoke with my kids.