damn velociraptors...

[B4O2N0G]

Alright so id prob grab a chainsaw and go for their legs and head.After im done taking a piss on their dead bloody carcases.I would then move on to fighting the velociraptors.

I would get one of those machines they use to lift or take stuff down from the shelves and I would strap two chainsaws on the lift part and get wire meshing to encase my self in that machine so they cant bite my fuckin arms or head off.It will take quite some time to fight them but it will be easy when they are feasting on the home depot employees.

After im done battling the raptors I will plant a huge crop of weed in the plant section and also build a indoor grow with lots of lighting.In 3 or 4 months time I will get really high.

 

[Tronic]

good call on the muratic acid... that's the shit they use to strip chrome. no need to even get that shit in the mouth, just pressure-acid the shit out of them

then maybe some gasoline and flame for good measure

 

[1G12]

My plan of attack...

I would wander around til I found the patio furniture area.
Then I'd find a comfy chair and sit down and wait for the drugs to wear off...
cuz these critters died out at least 65 million years ago.

 

[Space Ghost]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KlrKqI4OS1c

 

[flubnutz]

id take the ever-present chunks of hash that i carry in my utility belt dip them in hot dog cart grease climb the racks and throw them to them and wait for them to eat them and crash. then i'd get out lock the door and charge people admission to see them. people i dont like get free admission

 

[ToKEN]

id take the ever-present chunks of hash that i carry in my utility belt dip them in hot dog cart grease climb the racks and throw them to them and wait for them to eat them and crash. then i'd get out lock the door and charge people admission to see them. people i dont like get free admission

^^^^^

 

[Dr Dog]

I would try to get into that air tube system they send their money in

 

[zomg1]

I would sit them down and reason with them

 

[thekingofNY]

I would try to get into that air tube system they send their money in

ONLY in Canada would they need tubes to send money in... what the hell are you talking about???

I have been to the store in question at least 5 times in the past month, while most times i used the self checkout, i never saw any tubes for money...

Are you thinking of a bank man? Hell i haven't even seen a bank that had one of those in a long time.

 

[thekingofNY]

I would sit them down and reason with them

You sir, owe me a new keyboard...

that was great K+

 

[kmk420kali]

Get to the Paint Dept!! Lacquer Thinner and acetone both make great Molotov Cocktails--

 

[ToKEN]

dude, I would love to launch a molotov at something that was tryin to kill me, then just laugh...

my my how the tables have turned.

 

[TwoOhSix!]

A pressure washer loaded with something flammable might work as a flamethrower....


Then again, fire can turn on ya....I think yer better of with my previous plan.

I had the same thought, but then I remembered pressure washers require a hose for a water supply, so you couldn't spray anything else besides water really. Paint sprayer would work though.

 

[Kaos!]

3 Velociraptors would'nt even make it to the front door of My local Home Depot...the 300 day-laborers would make enchiladas out of them.

Kaos!

 

[flubnutz]

you could make some big-time iguana sandwiches out of velociraptors

 

[Dr Dog]

ONLY in Canada would they need tubes to send money in... what the hell are you talking about???

I have been to the store in question at least 5 times in the past month, while most times i used the self checkout, i never saw any tubes for money...

Are you thinking of a bank man? Hell i haven't even seen a bank that had one of those in a long time.

Nah they have a tube system at my local HD's, they put money in these little canisters and stick it in the tube and whoosh it is gone, there is a whole system of the tubes in there, every cash has one

 

[Rosy Cheeks]

Now ask yourself what you would really do if you were up against 3 Velociraptors, apart from shitting yourself.

I would ask Scotty to beam me up.

 

[Narcoleptic]

First, i`d hop on one of those electric buggys that they have for handicapped ppl.
Then i`d build a crossbow (have built a few before)
Then i would get some highly flammable liquid, a water pump and a high pressure washer.
Attach them all to the buggy, light a rag to the end of an arrow and start hunting

BURN `EM FUCKERS!!


Edit: also if i`d have the time, i`d weld a cage around the buggy keeping them from biting me. The only problem i see in this plan is the slow speed of the buggy.

 

[goodmangigabyte]

I'm of the opinion that three raptors are at least as deadly as three full grown tigers. Fighting off three tigers who are after your blood would be difficult even if you had firearms, much less jury-rigged stuff from home depot. Sure, you could injure maybe even kill the first one or even two, but the third one's gonna be on top of you, biting your neck, in which case it's sayonara.

I would think it takes a significant amount of tissue damage to incapacitate or kill a raptor, same as a tiger. You could definitely chainsaw and injure a raptor/tiger, only question is would it be before or after he sinks his fangs into your skull?

Of course, if they only attack one at a time, you actually have a chance, but raptors are supposed to be pack hunters. Also, even if they attack one at a time, you're likely to get injured with each attack, so by the time the third one steps up you're probably bleeding from numerous bites and scratches, partially incapacitated.

I think genkisan had it right, if you could get them to eat poison before attacking you, that's probably your only realistic chance of winning. My two cents....

 

[Farmer John]

I'd use my third eye and give them intelligence so they'd calm down and have a fat j of some of the dankest dank on planet and then we'd go to the lobby to watch porn froma 46" hdtv.