I wanted to tell you about my friend, Oleta, she lives in northern California. Oleta is a small, mildly disabled woman. Have you ever read the book “Gnomes” or “The Hobbit”? Oleta looks like a gnome or hobbit (minus the furry toes, of course). Plump and chipper like a little sparrow, wise in the ways of the Earth, and a heart that is overflowing with love—that is Oleta. She is a respected and well loved pre-school teacher.
Oleta once was married to Daryl. They divorced, but remained in contact. Daryl, has a good heart, but makes mistakes. Last year, Daryl realized that the divorce was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made. Another mistake he made was growing medical marijuana without having the papers from all the people he care-took for. He’s one of those “handshake” kind of guys. He got busted, but now has the letters, so he believes he will be OK on this one since he was following the law except for not having the letters. (Oleta does not use any illegal drugs, incidentally.)The third mistake he made was about a year ago, just before he realized mistake #1—he had a brief fling with a speed freak. The mother was unfit and CPS took the child, Anastasia, away at birth. She (the speed freak), after the DNA tests were in, informally, but in writing,conceded custody of Anastasia to Daryl, but CPS already had the child.
CPS gets a big bundle of cash for every child they place for adoption. CPS wants Anastasia. Daryl is a legal medical marijuana user, and he care-took the plants of several people. But because of the bust and (even more) his (legal) use of cannabis, CPS wants to deny Daryl custody of his daughter (for obviou$ reasons). About the time of the birth, Oleta and Daryl remarried. He was up-front about the child and Oleta was horrified! Not that he had had a child by a speed freak, but that his child was “in the system”. As a preschool teacher, she has seen repeatedly what “the system” can do to a child. She began to fight for a child she had never even seen-- a child that many women would have hated or been indifferent to at best. Daryl has done everything that CPS has asked, took parenting classes (even the breast feeding class!), offered to build a completely separate outbuilding as a smoking room, so Anastasia won’t be exposed to second-hand smoke, had the psychological report done…everything they asked and more.
He is allowed just 90 minutes a week with his daughter. Oleta only sees the baby as she passes through to the visiting room. She, the child's legal stepmother, is not permitted to see the child! CPS objects! Oleta tells me about every move she has seen the child make, worries about her health (neural damage from the mother’s drug abuse), and most important, loves this child of her husband’s as if Anastasia was her own. This gentle, little woman loves her husband’s child, with all her heart. This is a child who likely faces a lifetime of problems from her mother’s heavy drug abuse, yet Oleta, her gray braids flying, has come out fighting like a mother bear for her. She has never held Anastasia in her arms, but she holds her in her heart. I worry that the courts will take Anastasia away to be adopted (if she does have physical problems and CPS finds her another home, they get even more $$$). CPS drags its feet on every move. Phone calls rarely returned, they are often late in bringing Anastasia for the supervised visits (once almost an hour late!), banning Oleta from visiting the child, it’s a complete runaround! They even have gone so far as to tamper with a witness! Daryl’s adult daughter (a candidate for an in-family adoption of Anastasia) was told on the phone NOT to come up for the trial! It would be a waste of time, since this child WAS going to be adopted out!)
I worry that “the system” will crush the heart of my gentle, compassionate friend by denying custody. No other home could provide more love than what Oleta feels for this child. As a preschool teacher, she knows far more about small children than most mothers. This child is likely to have special needs and few women are as prepared as Oleta to meet those needs.Even if Daryl goes to jail, Oleta is the child’s stepmother and fully capable and eager to care for this child. She wants Anastasia in her home. She loves her. Oleta will fight for the rights of any child, but when it comes to a child she loves, she is unstoppable. Oleta is the soul of love and compassion.
I wrote this a while back, but things haven’t changed much. The psycholgical report was very badly written and quite biased, but what can you expect from CPS’s “pet” psychologist? Daryl got a second opinion from a psychologist outside of the immediate area and it read totally different. Daryl is hyperactive and has PTSD from his military days. That’s a lot different than being a total nut case! I have asked for help for Oleta and Daryl at ASA, ACLU and other places I thought might help. So far ASA has been the most interested. Most of the places that I’ve asked for help haven’t even had the politeness to send a return email! It’s damn discouraging!
To make things worse, their house was broken into while they were at court. Not much was taken- Oleta’s CDs, her “handicapped” plaque from her car, little stuff. They think it was some kids downriver from them. Their lawyer seems to be getting more and more senile, although he still has occational flashes of competence.
I wrote a piece for Oleta (I’m the better writer) and with her permission and approval, I sent it in her name to about 50 northern California newspapers as a LTE. One small local paper called her back. We hope that if the letters get printed and shine a light on the corruption at CPS. We’re grasping at straws.
Oleta is a remarkable woman. When we met she was functionally illiterate and she has learning disabilities. On sheer guts and determination, she has made her way through college and is now a certified, accredited, preschool teacher. I can think of few women who would be a better role model and mother to this poor, damaged child.
I’m feeling a bit depressed and had to rant about this. Thanks for listening.
Oleta once was married to Daryl. They divorced, but remained in contact. Daryl, has a good heart, but makes mistakes. Last year, Daryl realized that the divorce was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made. Another mistake he made was growing medical marijuana without having the papers from all the people he care-took for. He’s one of those “handshake” kind of guys. He got busted, but now has the letters, so he believes he will be OK on this one since he was following the law except for not having the letters. (Oleta does not use any illegal drugs, incidentally.)The third mistake he made was about a year ago, just before he realized mistake #1—he had a brief fling with a speed freak. The mother was unfit and CPS took the child, Anastasia, away at birth. She (the speed freak), after the DNA tests were in, informally, but in writing,conceded custody of Anastasia to Daryl, but CPS already had the child.
CPS gets a big bundle of cash for every child they place for adoption. CPS wants Anastasia. Daryl is a legal medical marijuana user, and he care-took the plants of several people. But because of the bust and (even more) his (legal) use of cannabis, CPS wants to deny Daryl custody of his daughter (for obviou$ reasons). About the time of the birth, Oleta and Daryl remarried. He was up-front about the child and Oleta was horrified! Not that he had had a child by a speed freak, but that his child was “in the system”. As a preschool teacher, she has seen repeatedly what “the system” can do to a child. She began to fight for a child she had never even seen-- a child that many women would have hated or been indifferent to at best. Daryl has done everything that CPS has asked, took parenting classes (even the breast feeding class!), offered to build a completely separate outbuilding as a smoking room, so Anastasia won’t be exposed to second-hand smoke, had the psychological report done…everything they asked and more.
He is allowed just 90 minutes a week with his daughter. Oleta only sees the baby as she passes through to the visiting room. She, the child's legal stepmother, is not permitted to see the child! CPS objects! Oleta tells me about every move she has seen the child make, worries about her health (neural damage from the mother’s drug abuse), and most important, loves this child of her husband’s as if Anastasia was her own. This gentle, little woman loves her husband’s child, with all her heart. This is a child who likely faces a lifetime of problems from her mother’s heavy drug abuse, yet Oleta, her gray braids flying, has come out fighting like a mother bear for her. She has never held Anastasia in her arms, but she holds her in her heart. I worry that the courts will take Anastasia away to be adopted (if she does have physical problems and CPS finds her another home, they get even more $$$). CPS drags its feet on every move. Phone calls rarely returned, they are often late in bringing Anastasia for the supervised visits (once almost an hour late!), banning Oleta from visiting the child, it’s a complete runaround! They even have gone so far as to tamper with a witness! Daryl’s adult daughter (a candidate for an in-family adoption of Anastasia) was told on the phone NOT to come up for the trial! It would be a waste of time, since this child WAS going to be adopted out!)
I worry that “the system” will crush the heart of my gentle, compassionate friend by denying custody. No other home could provide more love than what Oleta feels for this child. As a preschool teacher, she knows far more about small children than most mothers. This child is likely to have special needs and few women are as prepared as Oleta to meet those needs.Even if Daryl goes to jail, Oleta is the child’s stepmother and fully capable and eager to care for this child. She wants Anastasia in her home. She loves her. Oleta will fight for the rights of any child, but when it comes to a child she loves, she is unstoppable. Oleta is the soul of love and compassion.
I wrote this a while back, but things haven’t changed much. The psycholgical report was very badly written and quite biased, but what can you expect from CPS’s “pet” psychologist? Daryl got a second opinion from a psychologist outside of the immediate area and it read totally different. Daryl is hyperactive and has PTSD from his military days. That’s a lot different than being a total nut case! I have asked for help for Oleta and Daryl at ASA, ACLU and other places I thought might help. So far ASA has been the most interested. Most of the places that I’ve asked for help haven’t even had the politeness to send a return email! It’s damn discouraging!
To make things worse, their house was broken into while they were at court. Not much was taken- Oleta’s CDs, her “handicapped” plaque from her car, little stuff. They think it was some kids downriver from them. Their lawyer seems to be getting more and more senile, although he still has occational flashes of competence.
I wrote a piece for Oleta (I’m the better writer) and with her permission and approval, I sent it in her name to about 50 northern California newspapers as a LTE. One small local paper called her back. We hope that if the letters get printed and shine a light on the corruption at CPS. We’re grasping at straws.
Oleta is a remarkable woman. When we met she was functionally illiterate and she has learning disabilities. On sheer guts and determination, she has made her way through college and is now a certified, accredited, preschool teacher. I can think of few women who would be a better role model and mother to this poor, damaged child.
I’m feeling a bit depressed and had to rant about this. Thanks for listening.
