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Breaking up is hard to do :(

JOJO420

Active member
Veteran
Its amazing what we will put up with and not break up, BUT when that times comes, it sucks. Literally. Sucks the life outa you and can really bring a man down. They always say its for the better, but damn man, it sure doesn't feel that way. I wish we could rewind time and just change certain things. I think we as humans have a certain wish to turn back the clock,lol. anyway. I'm bummed and depressed cause breaking up is hard to do. :(
 

David762

Member
I know this doesn't really help, but ...

I know this doesn't really help, but ...

Its amazing what we will put up with and not break up, BUT when that times comes, it sucks. Literally. Sucks the life outa you and can really bring a man down. They always say its for the better, but damn man, it sure doesn't feel that way. I wish we could rewind time and just change certain things. I think we as humans have a certain wish to turn back the clock,lol. anyway. I'm bummed and depressed cause breaking up is hard to do. :(

I am reminded of a snippet of song "... a time for every season ..."

Personal relationships are based in part upon expectations instead of reality. The reality is that nothing ever stays the same -- everything, including relationships, are always in a state of flux even if you aren't aware of it.

For example, a husband & wife may have a child that appears to magically grow from a toddler to a teen virtually overnight. That child was growing and changing every day, even though someone in close relationship to that child would not necessarily notice day-to-day changes. It usually takes some specific event -- something that may have hold some special significance to the observer -- that triggers the acknowledgement that "Hey, something is different!".

I have heard it said that when women see a man, they see how he might be, if only she could change him; while a man sees a woman as she is now, and expects her to always remain the same. Likewise, friendships often change over a period of time just because the people involved also change -- close friends may not see the small incremental changes that amount to a large difference between the perceived and actual realities over the long haul, and then get caught by surprise.

Hopefully, whether the relationship was romantic, familial, or friendship, there is enough maturity for each party to recognize that nothing lasts forever, and that it's one of life's lessons ...
Until that recognition happens, the situation is hard to accept, along with some measure of blame assigned to one party or the other. While that may or may not be true, the larger reality is "change happens" and it's not always the best course to try to mend something that is not mendable. What will be, will be ...

Best of luck in your relationship. Sometimes a disagreement, or even a fight, is nothing more than an opportunity for renegotiation of your relationship. The trick is knowing the difference.

:tiphat:
 

Baba Ku

Active member
Veteran
There is a very fast cure for what ails ya....and it works nearly every time. You just need to go out and find her.(or him, or it, or etc...)

Time and good snatch tends to heal wounds.
 
Yeah, I know what it's like to get your heart ripped from your chest. It's all part of life! We all can't get what we want.

Just say to yourself, that it's his/her's loss, not your's! You'll eventually find someone out there that will appreciate you, and usually it's when you least expect it.
 

Andyo

Active member
Veteran
stay single

stay single

Dont try to get another relationship till your happy n free ,by then youll have your head on straight .
 
C

cyberwax

im reminded of another user, yeap, u guessed it.

also best remedy for breakups; star trek!
 

JOJO420

Active member
Veteran
Until that recognition happens, the situation is hard to accept, along with some measure of blame assigned to one party or the other. While that may or may not be true, the larger reality is "change happens" and it's not always the best course to try to mend something that is not mendable. What will be, will be ...
I feel this is true on many levels. In this instance i feel change is good, but not in the way its being forced upon me. There are many ways this could go down, i just think this is the easiest way so she can continue to fool around and have fun and not have to deal with any of the fall out.
 

JOJO420

Active member
Veteran
I just found out...answer is yes. Much to my shame and embarrassment. Fucked a so called "friend" and has fooled around with a couple of other people I found out. really just don't know the whole story.
Normally I would not even look back. I don't understand why I'm so heartbroken. I just don't get it. But even after all this I still feel love for this woman.
Sick I know,lol
 

Prof Sublime

Hard working pothead
Veteran
this will make you feel better, just turn up the sub woofers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HEA3NQVS2Y


been in the same boat pretty much, time heals all wounds. the 1st time you hook up with another girl you wont even remember her anymore. girls are a very strange and unique species. ive stayed single the past 2 years, kinda easier and more fun.
 

Baba Ku

Active member
Veteran
lol...yes strange should definitely be on the menu!
'dewd be very glad that you know about the slut now. How would it be to have four kids and her throwin that pussy around? She'd have her dick and your money.
 

JOJO420

Active member
Veteran
For reals. I'm glad its going this way and not something worse.
Well worse part is that we have all the same friends. our lives are very intertwined. I will have to stop living in this state and get a new job or else im gonna run into her for years to come. this sucks
 

designer

Member
It is tremendously easier to be single than in a bad relationship. At least when you are single there is hope. When you are in a bad relationship it just spirals down and out of control until somebody gets hurt. It is close to the death do us part aspect

Lick your wounds and pick your next partner more carefully.
 

j242

Member
I am reminded of a snippet of song "... a time for every season ..."

Personal relationships are based in part upon expectations instead of reality. The reality is that nothing ever stays the same -- everything, including relationships, are always in a state of flux even if you aren't aware of it.

For example, a husband & wife may have a child that appears to magically grow from a toddler to a teen virtually overnight. That child was growing and changing every day, even though someone in close relationship to that child would not necessarily notice day-to-day changes. It usually takes some specific event -- something that may have hold some special significance to the observer -- that triggers the acknowledgement that "Hey, something is different!".

I have heard it said that when women see a man, they see how he might be, if only she could change him; while a man sees a woman as she is now, and expects her to always remain the same. Likewise, friendships often change over a period of time just because the people involved also change -- close friends may not see the small incremental changes that amount to a large difference between the perceived and actual realities over the long haul, and then get caught by surprise.

Hopefully, whether the relationship was romantic, familial, or friendship, there is enough maturity for each party to recognize that nothing lasts forever, and that it's one of life's lessons ...
Until that recognition happens, the situation is hard to accept, along with some measure of blame assigned to one party or the other. While that may or may not be true, the larger reality is "change happens" and it's not always the best course to try to mend something that is not mendable. What will be, will be ...

Best of luck in your relationship. Sometimes a disagreement, or even a fight, is nothing more than an opportunity for renegotiation of your relationship. The trick is knowing the difference.

:tiphat:

Another reason to love ICMAG. The knowledge shared here is truly inspirational. Thank you SO much for these words of wisdom.
 

!!!

Now in technicolor
Veteran
"If the seasons which change were all still. Its so easy to see life would fail. Whatever slips out of our hands. Will find its way back to us once again." - John Frusciante song

break ups are tough as shit. That's why most couples will break up, get back together, break up again, and continue this cycle indefinitely until shit hits the fan (i.e., restraining order or something tragic happening in the heat of the moment.)

Stay strong.. take a pinch of psychedelic if possible. You'll probably cry your eyes out for a few hours and then have the complete opposite effect.
 

HighDesertJoe

COME ON PEOPLE NOW
Veteran
JoJo you don't need to leave town take the HIGH road keep looking there's somebody out there better just for you.
DON'T SETTLE for second best and obviously she wasn't the best
Good Luck
 

JOJO420

Active member
Veteran
JoJo you don't need to leave town
your right, but I want to. I own land in Hawaii, its time for a vacation. Im sick of running into guys i know that have fooled around with my ex girlfriend. It will be better for my health

take the HIGH road keep looking there's somebody out there better just for you.
DON'T SETTLE for second best and obviously she wasn't the best
Thanx for the kind words. I hope your right :tiphat:

It is tremendously easier to be single than in a bad relations
Well said.

Stay strong.. take a pinch of psychedelic if possible. You'll probably cry your eyes out for a few hours and then have the complete opposite effect.
Da man with the plan. This is exactly what I'm Gonna do. I will post the results :)
 

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