My default is no, and after going through probably the lowest point in life thus far, this (below) came on PBS today and was pretty interesting.
It's about thoughts & habits that others and oneself may impose on the mind, how a lot of the stress we come across is self imposed, and how we limit ourselves by saying 'no' or offering excuses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLW6I1Tt8OY&feature=related
mate, all stress is self induced you can chose to react how you want, the place you are is down to your own choices (not being nasty bro) YOU have the power.. theres no self to find, you're right here my friend
there's no trick to life, there's no goal or end game...there's just life... the sooner we all stop struggling to be happy, the sooner we'll all realise it's that struggle which is causing us the most unhappiness..
I wish I could heed my own advice