lookin for a mentor with bipolar

hermdog · Jan 5, 2016

I think I want to keep this simple, I've seen both God and Baphomet with my naked eyes in the last six months, the latter last week. I know my purpose here now and I'm a man of God now.

Words of advice, depression is not your enemy, giving into the fast paced, self centered life is. Thank you all, you're angeles whether you know it or not.

Ph-patrol · Jan 5, 2016

Hermdog if things are becoming to difficult.You can go to a emergency room and tell them what your going threw and you will get instant help.
Hospitalization can be the start of getting your life back in some cases.

Take care PH

jesbuds · Jan 5, 2016

Croissant said:
You are on the right path though looking for someone else to connect with to work through your stuff, just please for your own sake go to someone trained to guide you through it. When you are in a vulnerable state reaching and out someone that is psychotic may seem like they have all the answers and be attractive as a person to connect to. I am warning you I have seen it before ; on here even and recently.

I recommend you find yourself a psychoanalyst preferably from a Lacanian orientation and expect to dedicate several years to analysis. There are no quick fixes or shortcuts as those are only forms of repression and self policing.

Really good advice.

Glad you've found your purpose and path. I'm by no means a man of religion but can respect how people can benefit from it. All the best man.

hermdog · Jan 5, 2016

I've never felt more purpose in my life, thanks for the concern Ph.
I think it would be most ironic to calmly walk into a hospital with crosses on the walls and declare to them I found God and all his prophets in my heart, please sedate me.

Runt · Jan 5, 2016

I was given a bipolar dg (type II) years ago and did all the meds: lithium, SSRI´s, benzos and you name it. Cognitive analytic therapy helped a lot and last summer I went to Peru for a period and tried ayahuasca and since that I´ve been in pretty good balance. I wouldn´t say I´m cured but at least it seems to be dormant for the first time in 30 years.

Croissant · Jan 5, 2016

hermdude,

if you are having the sort of experiences you claim. I very very highly recommend a Lacanian or Jungian analyst with my preference towards the Lacanian. Within their training they focus very strongly on the symbolism that seems to be a strong part of your experience. Most other modalities will be dismissive to those aspects although you may find a good therapist that strays from their training and the dehumanizing medical gaze.

DemonTrich · Jan 5, 2016

42 and have bi polar (lithium 600mg x 2 daily) and Depakote (500mg er daily). super shitty disease to have. meds, suck, and the holidays are even worse as im in a "funk" from mid nov to mid jan. I just harvested a new strain, cannatonic4 cbd. I haven't had her tested yet, but it surely makes me super chill vs my other 7 strains I grow. kinda like super laid back and "level", you know what I mean. and my g/f.. wife of sorts, doesn't NOT believe in any of these types of diseases (depression, bi polar, ect), but she is in fact the looniest bitch ive ever known in my 42 yrs of living. she needs the hardest of hard core drugs, but denial is huge with her. if I didnt have a 2yr old son with her, id be gone last week.

CoCoSativas · Jan 5, 2016

DemonTrich said:
42 and have bi polar (lithium 600mg x 2 daily) and Depakote (500mg er daily). super shitty disease to have. meds, suck, and the holidays are even worse as im in a "funk" from mid nov to mid jan. I just harvested a new strain, cannatonic4 cbd. I haven't had her tested yet, but it surely makes me super chill vs my other 7 strains I grow. kinda like super laid back and "level", you know what I mean. and my g/f.. wife of sorts, doesn't NOT believe in any of these types of diseases (depression, bi polar, ect), but she is in fact the looniest bitch ive ever known in my 42 yrs of living. she needs the hardest of hard core drugs, but denial is huge with her. if I didnt have a 2yr old son with her, id be gone last week.

Bummer dude. Sorry to hear that. I hope your strain you harvested helps.

Reef offers some neat looking cbd crosses, willie and og (fire) the willie they state still has high thc phenos but can find nice cbd phenos too, and a buddy said he loved the cbd og

Croissant · Jan 8, 2016

anyway hermdog,

you call him baphomet, well I have seen him too. WHen you were little he used to be your imaginary friend like in the movie inside out. I seen him when I had sleep paralysis, they call him "the hat man." He is in movies often, willy wonka, freddy kreuger, V from v for vendetta, Woody in toy story, morpheous, the ghost of christmass past etc.

he might appear to younger folks as a dinosaur because of barney. They comment on that in the film death to smoochie. as you see there is the hat man and smoochie who is basically barny.

Croissant · Jan 8, 2016

you see in inside out this is him. basically a combination of the hat man, barney, the cat from alice in wonderland with a huge nose which represents the phalice.

here he is in Egyptian religion as Osiris. Notice the hat and phallic chin like the trunk on the character from inside out.

Croissant · Jan 8, 2016

he is the magician behind the illusion of reality. He is indicated by the symbols the crown, or hat, the phallic symbol like a wand or scepter and often a rabbit.

in folklore the trickster is usually a rabbit. Like the white rabbit from alice in wonderland. or the mad hatter and the rabbit.

In Jungian archetypes he is the trickster archetype. In Lacanian psychoanalysis he is refered to as the big other.

I am telling you dude... see a psychoanalyst preferably a Lacanian because they use the symbology correctly and they aren't looking to sedate you and they aren't trying to be scientists with zero understanding of the symbols like the vast majority of mental health professionals.

Croissant · Jan 8, 2016

your mother

stonedfly · Jan 8, 2016

yo hermdog,

I too suffer from bi-polar. a lot of your first post rings true to me too...

I found in my late 20's I cycled much more frequently. Now in my early 30's I feel I miss my constant "ups" and have lost some of my "personality" , if u will...

I don't take meds, I self medicate with pot, and growing.

I try to read books about my disorder but it only makes me more depressed , lol...

keep working on it buddy.... don't drink as others have said... I love booze. lol... I cannot stress how important it is to remain free from depressants like alcohol .

exercise and getting outside is a key element in my life. Camping, being alone... all ground me.

I do miss my extreme highs I got in my 20's ... pushed me to great things... but for me I crashed hard eventually... I was on a 6 year high no lie... it was crazy... I accomplished some amazing things, luckily I didn't kill myself or anyone near to me, but it was close many times

stonedfly · Jan 8, 2016

oh and find a couple strains that can trigger you both ways...

knockout indicas to ground you and a uplifting sativa to pull the goblin outta your head.

strandloper · Jan 8, 2016

Croissant you are obsessed

ReikoX · Jan 8, 2016

Bipolar is a serious illness that requires medical professionals both to diagnose as well as to treat. When I was your age, I was misdiagnosed as having anxiety disorder and was put on a string of anti-depressants before finding one that worked for my "anxiety".
That worked for a while but the problem was it superseded the depression which left me always manic. Years later I had a traumatic event that sent me over the edge. I became angry and violent. I got delusional and would do things out of character yet have no recollection. Finally I started cycling multiple times a day. I was about to commit myself, but managed to get into a therapist and psychiatrist.
For almost a year we tried different medications to get things under control, some helped, some had nasty side effects. As part of this treatment (along with PTSD) I got on the medical cannabis program.
Of all the strains I've tried the high CBD strains work the best on my mania. For me a 1:1 THC:CBD ratio is best. I am currently growing Juanita de Lagrimosa for this very reason. This works for me better than any kind of tranquilizer.
Another thing that helps me stabilize my mood is a combination of fish oil and vitamin E.
More than anything the professional help and medications have helped me get my life on track and manage my mood swing. I still have them, but they are less frequent and not a serious. Without both a therapist and a psychiatrist I would be dead, in jail, or in a mental hospital right now.

hermdog · Jan 8, 2016

Tahoe OG is taking care of me, I've been practicing patience and mindfulness.
The last week I've gotten 7-8hrs of sleep, I've stayed motivated and on point with tasks and plans, and I don't have a negative voice in my mind filling me with doubt anymore.
The few slip ups where I rush with something or think something negative I've been able to catch myself before they get out of control.
I know I'm on a path of healing now, I can't remember having such a sustained even mood without pharmaceuticals.

I'm really enjoying my perpetual grow now, I know this plant is the only medicine I need.
I have some enjoyable harvests coming soon.

Easy7 · Jan 8, 2016

I'm schizoaffective, it's bi-polar with traits of schizophrenia. I've only smoked once in the past five years, this spring. I do know that it's like smoking anything else, it works better when you use it religiously. I'd rather smoke cannabis or tobacco all the time like normal or not at all. It's too much of a head game to want something and not have it. I also suggest having a stable life. A home, income and people you can rely on and trust with your love!

I hope to smoke and grow again. All I have now that's an attachment to cannabis is the internet. Not even buying seeds anymore until I know I can be secure in the pursuit.

I've done a lot of psychedelics and was usually darn good at handling my shit. Stay away from PCP, don't trust other people's stash. Some shit bag sooner or later passes something wet.

Maybe meds would be more stable for you. I know the path of the shaman is criminal in western society. I know I require drugs stronger than my illness. It is a spiritual illness at it's core.

Balance and stability

Runt · Jan 13, 2016

PS a lot of people nowadays are given the dg "bipolar type II" which is a rather new phenomena and could be linked to using SSRI´s for extended periods. The pros are talking about a "kindling effect" which essentially that your serotonergic system is on overload for so long that the condition appears to be bipolar but is actually a side effect of the extended mediciation.

Easy7 · Jan 13, 2016

There was an article in Discover magazine sometime in 2001. They showed pics of microscopic neurons which exploded from SSRI's. Somehow these drugs are legal and favored over cannabis?

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