lookin for a mentor with bipolar

hermdog · Jan 2, 2016

I'm 27 and have just learned what I've known all along, my entire immediate family suffers from bipolar as do I.

The biggest problem in my life has been trying to find someone who understands me, but is most comfortably living in depression rather than manic.
So many of my friends and acquaintances are my polar opposite, I can never help their depression and they don't understand my explosive manic days.

I've fallen into rapid cycling for the first time as an adult, while I enjoy being the life of the party and all the confidence I literally burn out after a day or two and push friends away in hopes depression settles in again. At least depressed I lack the motivation to get myself in trouble.

No amount of indica is putting me to sleep anymore.
Growing and the patients that rely on me has become my life.
I need a kind soul that can give me a little guidance.

circadian clock · Jan 2, 2016

date someone who studied(school) bipolar, date someone with bipolar, date someone that is bipolar and studied bipolar. or someone who is not bipolar but either has a friend/family member with bipolar. or something to that effect.

hermdog · Jan 2, 2016

I've done half those things, lol
Why I was posting here was I figured there's someone that has the same type I have and wouldn't mind shooting the shit once in awhile.

circadian clock · Jan 2, 2016

hospitals always a option. there probally wondering why the fuck ur so happy.

Croissant · Jan 2, 2016

might want to read this article about bipolar.

http://www.alternet.org/story/156009/why_there_has_been_an_explosion_in_bipolar_diagnoses

JamieShoes · Jan 2, 2016

one of the bravest posts I've read on IC.. my hat is off to you.. for super strong Indi knock out, try Sweet Seeds Green Poison... it's as Indi as anything I've smoked..

:tiphat:

hermdog · Jan 2, 2016

Your Freud quote, Croissant was actually the needle that broke the camel's back in my realization.
Both my mother and I are the depressive sort, my father and brother love to quote Freud and have used his ideas to justify physical violence and mental manipulation against us my entire life, all along thinking their manic personality is the norm.

Meanwhile I just wanted to not be around people that are overly self center, and have so much energy that take it out on others.

hermdog · Jan 2, 2016

Thank you, Jamie!
I have loved sweet seeds strains in the past, but twice had my Attitude orders confiscated by customs. Mohan Ram is wonderful meds as well.

hermdog · Jan 2, 2016

So many personal things drove me to the correct answer.
During my hyper active periods I don't sleep much at all, at most a few hours, sometimes none.
I had known forever when I began seeing open and closed eyed visuals in bed that sleep was nearing.
In reality this illness prevents me from fully falling asleep during mania.

My grandfather, a decorated vietnam vet has always described seeing angels and demons. I know now it's more than likely he doesn't do well during mania either.
When I rid myself of anxiety and watch these dreams while still conscious to me they appear as any typical good dreams or nightmares.

Last night I watched a nightmare of pentagrams, goatheads and other satanic imagery which was broken into sections with either colorful or black and white mandalas.
Other Nights they are beautiful and soothing, sometimes hyper sexual.

I understand why the mind does this during sleep deprivation, I just need a quality sleep aid. Never will I seek out the needle.

It is so, so difficult getting either a neurotypical, or consistently manic person to understand people like me.

Mikell · Jan 2, 2016

Might track down bipolar grower on IG. Not entirely sure if his handle is serious or not.

strandloper · Jan 3, 2016

Diet can sometimes be a significant factor.
In some people, wheat and sugar can exacerbate bipolar symptoms.
Also, caffeine is a powerful stimulants that can disrupt the minds delicate balance.

television is also something to avoid. And shitty music with disruptive vibrations.

--Metta

bigganjabud · Jan 3, 2016

When I'm in my hyper stages I'm about a million miles an hour

I have bad patches aswell

I'd suggest oils/shatters/bho for the hyper times and a lot of positive thoughts and maybe a read of the secret
At the low times any time you wanna talk hit me up I'm usually around somewhere

Welcome to ic and hope to hear from you soon amigo

Pinball Wizard · Jan 4, 2016

my nephew is bipolar. don't feed him brownies after midnight

Fly by Night · Jan 4, 2016

What can I help you with?

shithawk420 · Jan 4, 2016

Well,im 27 and in the same boat.only thing i can say for sure is dont start drinking everyday.trust me.

CoCoSativas · Jan 4, 2016

hermdog said:
I'm 27 and have just learned what I've known all along, my entire immediate family suffers from bipolar as do I.

The biggest problem in my life has been trying to find someone who understands me, but is most comfortably living in depression rather than manic.
So many of my friends and acquaintances are my polar opposite, I can never help their depression and they don't understand my explosive manic days.

I've fallen into rapid cycling for the first time as an adult, while I enjoy being the life of the party and all the confidence I literally burn out after a day or two and push friends away in hopes depression settles in again. At least depressed I lack the motivation to get myself in trouble.

No amount of indica is putting me to sleep anymore.
Growing and the patients that rely on me has become my life.
I need a kind soul that can give me a little guidance.

Try some sativa hybrids. I'm a total asshole without some type of sativa high. I can garentee you won't feel depressed after you smoke them. plus they are more challenging to grow and satisfying and lots of them you will fall right asleep from the burnout lol I spend a extra hour or two a day napping these days...

Get involved with the community here lots of people can inspire you. I turn 26 in February so I'm your age and can relate. Anyway there are alot of kind people here who were kind to me and inspired me to pass on the same kindness. It's made me remember the plant is not just dope to smoke and money on trees it means so much more

Good luck man lots of kind caring people here. Reach out and there's many who can't wait to hold out their hand and help pull you back up. I know be a use I've done it, members of this community helped keep me going through a period of misery from back pain which made me pretty depressed. Never feel bad calling out for help, around these parts lots are listening

shithawk420 · Jan 4, 2016

Good post CoCo

CoCoSativas · Jan 4, 2016

shithawk420 said:
Good post CoCo

Thanks shitty...

Yeah man the only ones who can really change our lives is us, though sometimes inspiration comes and makes you look at things a different way. This place and the people inspire me. I'm working on my attitude

Croissant · Jan 4, 2016

hermdog said:
Your Freud quote, Croissant was actually the needle that broke the camel's back in my realization.
Both my mother and I are the depressive sort, my father and brother love to quote Freud and have used his ideas to justify physical violence and mental manipulation against us my entire life, all along thinking their manic personality is the norm.

Meanwhile I just wanted to not be around people that are overly self center, and have so much energy that take it out on others.

Ugh, sorry to hear about ur dadbro. I am a depressive also, I am not a classic manic depressive, but would probably be considered bipolar type 2 or 2.5 or 3. The point is I am not bipolar and you may or may not be but in that link they talk about how bipolar kind of became the catch all diagnoses once depression medication stopped having patents on them as a way to direct people towards big pharma meds that have patents.

My brother was a fucking piece of shit to me so I can relate to that. Thing is though a professional is really the way to go if you can afford it. A lot of the self help stuff is based on self policing to experience oneself in a way deemed societaly acceptable which I think is nonsense and a form of narcissitic delusion.

You are on the right path though looking for someone else to connect with to work through your stuff, just please for your own sake go to someone trained to guide you through it. When you are in a vulnerable state reaching and out someone that is psychotic may seem like they have all the answers and be attractive as a person to connect to. I am warning you I have seen it before ; on here even and recently.

I recommend you find yourself a psychoanalyst preferably from a Lacanian orientation and expect to dedicate several years to analysis. There are no quick fixes or shortcuts as those are only forms of repression and self policing.

Ph-patrol · Jan 4, 2016

Just want to throw out there that all my grow work has strictly been in the pursuit of finding positive and therapeutic medicine for my wife's Bipolar 2.
The strains that I grow have been a huge difference in the quality of her life.
But Bipolar is a multi dimensional illness that takes multi strains. But sometimes not smoking for a certain period of times is the answer.
This is just a fragment of dealing with the illness.

Take care PH

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