Severe Depression

Hello was just wondering if anyone else is or has been going through severe depression? I have always been kind of down on myself since i was very young and i once was able to be happy at times i now find myself in a constant state of deep depression and then when my mom died earlier this year i just went over the cliff and seem to only be hanging on by a mere thread.

I have become a full blown alcoholic and am not capable of taking care of my self at certain times. I lost the passion for growing only for it to come back a little but i lost the strains that i had for years so i gave it all up.

Thankfully i have savings from over the years to support me now because i don't really get much done anymore. I lost contact with all former friends and family and it seems like all i do now is sleep or try to sleep. I sometimes try to reflect on how my life went so sour but it is what it is.

Don't drink alcohol. This stuff has pretty much ruined my life.

Dam bro im real sorry to hear about your loss...

I wish there was something i could do or that it could be as easy as telling you to snap out of it... but it isnt..

maybe you should get some medical help...

have the suicidal thoughts creep-ed in yet?

Jibman said:

Hello was just wondering if anyone else is or has been going through severe depression? I have always been kind of down on myself since i was very young and i once was able to be happy at times i now find myself in a constant state of deep depression and then when my mom died earlier this year i just went over the cliff and seem to only be hanging on by a mere thread.

I have become a full blown alcoholic and am not capable of taking care of my self at certain times. I lost the passion for growing only for it to come back a little but i lost the strains that i had for years so i gave it all up.

Thankfully i have savings from over the years to support me now because i don't really get much done anymore. I lost contact with all former friends and family and it seems like all i do now is sleep or try to sleep. I sometimes try to reflect on how my life went so sour but it is what it is.

Don't drink alcohol. This stuff has pretty much ruined my life.

Click to expand...

Seek Help! Start with Alcoholics Anonymous-

http://www.aa.org/

Contact your local mental health center, check yourself into rehab if you need to. Otherwise, John Barleycorn will kill you. Once upon a time, he was my best friend until he turned on me.

I say that because I've been there long ago. AA saved my life, and the lives of millions of other people.

Do it.

Well not severe depression, not even diagnosed with it actually, but go to a np (not real doctor) and she has a degree in psychology and does not argue with me. I have what I believe is mild to moderate depression, comes and goes and at times I am fine and at times I think everything sucks so bad. Although 9 or 10 hours of sleep seems ideal for me, I have slept 14+ before but not recently, last year or two probably average 8 (7-9), but not really enough. I have anxiety pretty bad as well, and yet I have a hard time bringing myself to go to her even when I need a refill. Always a scolding over diet and excercise, or sickenly phony sweet, or telling me about having a new problem or having to up the dose of this or that. So been off the fluoxitine (prozac) for 3 weeks or so now, and at first it did not seem too bad. Now, not sure. In a constant state of like I had way too much caffiiene and at times had to talk myself down from a nervous fit by watching the birds or some similarly calming thing.

Booze, yes booze is my biggest ally and enemy, calming me down from this and making matter worse later. About the only way I can get to bed though. Smoking, yes why not do that? I don't know, had some smoke a couple years ago or more and freaked me the hell out, and been scared to try again since then. My mom died in 2008 and it still torments me most nights. I am not as bad depressed or with alcohol like you, but I do have a lot of parallels. I often drink 5 or 6 double shots a night, get up difficultly and spend most of my day in a fog, but am an awake zombie that gets a little something done every day (often very little). Growing, and trimming of all things when I can bring myself to do it, brings me a little peace and some hope that I can rebound from this. I lost track with friends and so, yes, isolated and a mess, so we have a lot in common but not all. I agree, skip the booze, if you are not already dependent on it don't try it or steer the hell away. If you are, try like crazy to stop. It's not worth stagnating and losing yourself to it. I keep trying to find things to stay busy, new interests new ways forward. Yet when you have so many health problems (diabetes, high cholesterol, anxiety that causes side pains/spams, not the worst stuff ever but when you feel weird and like its getting worse, it seems hopeless), you feel what do you have to lose? Of course that is the wrong attitude. I wish you well and hoped I helped more than I hurt things! I know how you feel!

Thanks for replying. I guess it helps to talk sometime.

I have very severe depression and have barely left my house except to buy food in the past 3 years. All of my muscles have atrophied, I take over 1,000mg vitamin D everyday, and everything hurts pretty much all the time. I don't drink now, but only because it makes me sick almost immediately. Not sure why.
When I did drink, I was MUCH more suicidal. I was hospitalized several times, once for over 30 days and was forced out of isolation by staff because, basically, people freak me out.

I'm trying real hard man, every day, to be happy about something. To just get something done. Sometimes I'm happy just to have gotten up and taken a shower. It's pretty horrible, and it's made worse by the fact that it repels people. They are either put off by the negative "vibe" (for brevity) caused by the depression, or the disease causes you to force them away. It's complete rubbish and I can't find a doctor here who understands it.

I know this, I'm glad I don't drink anymore. I'm glad I took cannabis back up, I'm glad I'm growing my own, and I'm happy it led to what will be an amazing vegetable garden next year. Because I have to remember that there can be a next year, and it can be better than this year, or the depression will consume me completely. It's a daily struggle, which seems counterintuitive to begin with. Good grief.

Don't give up.

I would suggest trying different types of antidepressants. sounds like the drinking is a way to self medicate the problems you're facing and just making it worse. my dad died a few years ago and it was really tough on me. I tried quite a few of different kinds of meds and the Prozac is like you described and why people lose weight sometimes on it. I liked wellbutrin (buproprion). it's not in the same category as Prozac. I've tried probably around 8 different kinds and didn't find anything useful until my doc found the right combo of things. but the most important thing that really helped but I realize may be tough for you is to go see a councilor and if the one you see sucks, see a different one. I had to go and talk to a few of them to see which one I liked and even then sometimes she gave bad advice. things do get better. lately I've been telling myself that.

also, if you find that AA doesn't work for you, finding an addiction councilor might be the best person to talk to who can address both of these issues. I found the two months I talked to her every week significantly helped me deal with things later on that happened. it was so much more beneficial than going to a medical doctor to just get a prescription. you can even find low cost ones in your area by calling the crisis line that is local to you.

@Goatstroker: Hey dude
you should get up to 50
posts to enable private
messaging and other IC
features that do unlock.

choom(0:

It scares me, as I get older, how dependent I become upon nutrients to NOT be depressed.

I recently had a mechanic attempt an engine transplant on my behalf involving 2 old Mercedes diesels (Biodiesel stuff).

He borked it. Now I have 2 non-running old Mercedes diesel. Got the call 2 weeks ago.

It was very difficult for me to think through the details clearly. So I started avoiding the subject.

Anyway, I realized I had run out of Vitamin D a month ago. Made it a point to GO BUY SOME. Like I said, it scares me how big a difference it makes.

Got my mental "A Game" back, or at least my B game. Got a potential buyer coming to look at my non-running antique cars. Making sure to hold my tongue around the mechanic, at least until the new owner takes delivery. Contemplating litigation. In other words, just plain "dealing with it" - which a week ago, I couldn't do.


The main point is, with the Vitamin D, my brain works better. I eat like a triathlete. I think that is very important for dealing with depression symptoms.

I don't even like the word depression, because I find that it is not specific enough, and because I hear people use it as a "catch all", and because it is often treated with drugs that have a stupefying effect (fluoride based compounds like fluoxetine, AKA Prozac.)


I spoke with an old friend on Sunday. He has problems with hoarding. His diet is crap. He doesn't exercise. He can't deal with the fact that he compulsively buys stuff (sort of an American problem).

So he gets depressed.


Anyway, the short version - if you are depleted nutritionally, especially as you get older, you are probably going to feel like crap and you are much more likely to have Depressive symptoms.

As I counseled my old friend on Sunday, I often feel like I am force feeding myself. But it's with things like broccoli and potatoes and multiple sources of protein.

Well another day that starts with drinking. i am on the verge on psychosis. The notion of most peoples depressions seems to be in the moment and not years and years of built up anger and sadness. The only reason i am still alive is i was given money some time ago.

i lost passion for anything and everything and i have nobody to even talk to anymore.

My life consists of waking up depressed and then drinking to the point of passing out so that i dont have to think. that is my life over and over again. i have zero friends or familky to talk to anymore. i live alone in the middle of a big fucking city and everyday i try to not shoot myself. today might be the day not sure yet

the biggest cities are the loneliest man. sounds like that anger is connected to your sadness. you're here though, and it looks like there are some people here who are concerned for you so don't give up. get on here and chat on some joke threads just interacting with us on here is good to get your mind off of stuff.

My last mother plant shriveled up and died. i guess anything related to mothers always dies on me. Was my only og that i had for some years. everything around me is dead or dying. my presence seems toxic to anything living

i need some clarification here... when you talk about your mother dying .... are you talking about your mother plant or your real mother who gave birth to you.lol..

a friend is only a toke away

honestly every person i ever met who smoked was not honest or reliable and that probably includes myself.

all i ever had was my family and now i have nobody.

i have not socialized in over 2 years.

welcome to the club. i haven't socialized in over 20 years.

so zero friends, zero family for 20 years?

i have my doubts that anyone is a much of a loner as i am.

i dont have anyone to talk or hang out with even if i wanted

if you don't take care of yourself, it's hard to take care of things around you. you have to make the choice to take the steps to get better. a good councilor can do wonders, really. having someone to talk to about anything is super beneficial.

there is a lot of people in the world, you would be amazed.

Jibman I have suffered almost life long depression and went on Paxil antidepressant which reversed 75% of this which makes life liveable, the Paxil is no big deal I don't zone out or anything in fact it has no side affect at all at this point go for it. I don't know if you have heard this but CBD has been tested on shitsophrenic people along side the standard cocktail of drugs, the patients on CBD did better than the people on the standard drug protocol. I plan on trying CBD on depression so I can shit can the Paxil in the future. Best of Luck