Dementia and dieing and tincture

[GreeeeN GRassss]

Bud Green, that is a great thing you have done for your mother. She is a very lucky person to have such a caring son.

has she started wandering yet?

does she get more agitated around dusk?

 

[armedoldhippy]

It's been extremely stressful to me and wifey, but we made a decision to take care of her and we're going to do our best to fulfill it.

you won't regret it, Bud. the guilt I would have suffered from putting her in a home might have killed ME! watching them deteriorate is actually helpful in a strange way. when my mom finally passed, it was a relief instead of a tragedy because the wonderful lady that carried & raised me had been gone for over a year...

 

[Bud Green]

in other cases patients forget that they have eaten and eat more. every person reacts to it differently.

Yeah, Mom eats well and wants the 3 meals a day that she is used to. Thank goodness! I've been told that when they stop wanting to eat is when they are ready to die..

Often, she will eat a meal and 1/2 hour later come back over to ask me if we've eaten yet or "when are we having lunch"..

She does not "wander", thankfully... She lived in the city or suburbs for 88 years and I don't think she would ever walk out of my house and into the woods as she has seldom been in the woods in her entire life...My yard is a half acre clearing in the middle of the woods, and I think the idea of "wild animals" and "bugs" will keep her from wandering. At least that's what I'm hoping...

 

[RB56]

It's a terrible thing to go through and a constant reminder of how fragile our minds and lives are. Demetia is the ultimate betrayal.

 

[ronbo51]

BGS,
So sorry for you and your mom. It was quite a shock to see this thread get recalled. I wrote a long reply, got quite emotional, then timed out and my whole story vanished and now here I am, a little less emotional, but I still want you to know what I learned. My mom did not have Alzheimers. She had kidney failure as well as other issues which lead to dementia and gradual decline. She babbled at the ceiling and talked in German to her friends and relatives that she saw in her mind. She was haunted by visions of Germany during the war when she was a child. The last time we moved her she cried in pain and agony so that is when I tried the tincture. I cannot say with certainty that it helped. I was not able to talk to her by then. I want it to have helped, I know it helped her sleep. I gave her the same dose I took: a squirt in the morning, one at lunch and an evening shot. It was green dragon. Standard qwiso in grain alcohol.
You are earning your angel wings here. Helping someone die is perhaps the greatest act of kindness you will ever give. When the priest came in after my father died he saw all of us that had gathered and began to cry. He told us how many times he came into the hospital rooms of poor dead souls and no one was there. They died alone. It is very sad. Watching your parents die is the natural order of things. Your own children will learn a valuable lesson as they watch you care for your parents as they fade. Don't think for a second they don't see the reality of what you do. If you are lucky and set a good enough example they will be there for you when it is your time.

 

[GoonSaibot]

I appreciate everyone commenting since I re-opened this old thread by ronbo51.

Mom is far into the middle stage of dementia. She knows who me and wifey are, but she often forgets which state of the USA she lives in now. I moved her here last summer over 1000 miles, into a 500 sq. ft. addition I built onto my house in the woods.

She sometimes forgets that she has 2 grand-daughters, as they never call her. (Not my kids) And she gets worried about silly things like where she left something. My Mom was a great Mom to me growing up, and I did not want her going to a nursing home.

Luckily, she NEVER forgets to eat, and I have no idea how she puts away as much as she does..and she's not a big woman. I try to keep her mind off of worrying and help to keep her happy. It seems that watching re-runs of old TV shows like Golden Girls or I Love Lucy keeps her laughing and happy...

It's been extremely stressful to me and wifey, but we made a decision to take care of her and we're going to do our best to fulfill it.

Do your best to not put anyone with dementia in a nursing home... my mother did it to my father... it wasnt the best place for him

 

[armedoldhippy]

Do your best to not put anyone with dementia in a nursing home... my mother did it to my father... it wasnt the best place for him

life is rough enough on them. being forced into a place they will NEVER recognize, even on their "good" days, just makes it worse. plus, you won't be there for those rare good days when they will recognize you...

 

[Bud Green]

Update

Update

Thank you to ronbo51, armedoldhippy, Payaso and all you others who have given me words of encouragement and support.

Mom's dimentia continues to worsen. She goes thru mood swings which are difficult for me to understand.. The swings can be only minutes apart...She is aware that she has dimentia, and sometimes tells me she is losing her marbles. At least when she says this, she is usually laughing about it, but can switch in a moment to being sad and extremely confused and apologizing to me for the trouble I am dealing with to take care of her... She sometimes tells me she knows she is here at my house in the woods because my siblings didn't offer her a place to stay at their homes and knows that she would not want to be in a nursing home.

My goal has shifted to the main objective of just trying to keep her in the happy and "no worries" state of mind...She enjoys watching the old comedy TV shows on DVD from the 70's, 80's and 90's. She also loves sitting on my large porch and watching the birds, deer, and other wild animals which come in my yard often.

After 3 months of waiting I have finally gotten her in to see the only doctor in town who has extensive training in geriatrics and dimentia in older patients.. YAY! We met him a few days ago and he seems extremely knowleable and caring..He has ordered new tests which have not been done before, to try to solve her biggest problem of intense headaches. If we can find out how to prevent or lessen the headaches, it will be a great stride forward in keeping Mom in the "happy" state of mind..

My Mom was one of those "very good" mothers, when I was a child and teenager, and she spent 18 years of her life taking care of raising me. I figure the very least I owe her is to try to take good care of her for the last few years of her life..

Bud....