Funny things Rednecks say thread

[dickcorn]

I can't take my truck in town to many loud exhaust tickets...
You ever been hogging?...(referring to picking up fat chicks banging or at least getting them naked in a farm field, then grab clothes and run. Supposedly the name comes from watching them run and squeal. Lol)

 

[stoned-trout]

i don't say 90% of whats posted here....the hold my beer line and it will knock your dick in the dirt are 2 i do say .....

 

[FlaDankster]

I don't even know how to try an spell some of the country jibberish.



Yaontoo=ya wanna f@$k

How about that ruint thing......."that girl is a skeezer and her box is ruint!!


I've always loved the "fixen to"

 

[nkatadelgormo]

Its hotter than a $2 dollar whore on 50¢ day.

Slick as owl shit.

Im about to stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry.

These are real life country boy sayings I've heard plenty throughout the south.

 

[stoned-trout]

not all of us are inbred too..some are even educated.....but boy do we have fun

 

[Dropped Cat]

Get off me daddy, you're squishing my cigarettes!

 

[armedoldhippy]

"that woman can spot an evil intention further off than a Baptist minister..." anonymous, from Tennessee.

 

[armedoldhippy]

"that boys elevator don't go clean to the top floor, does it?"

 

[WelderDan]

If'n a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

One mosquito says to the other "Lets carry this guy off before the BIG ones get here."

 

[hayday]

shit fire and save the matches...

Fat Freddy said a long time ago "Well I'll be dipped in dogshit". I don't think he was a redneck but I have said it since and I am.

 

[stoned-trout]

if ya feel froggy ,then leap mutherfucker

 

[willyweed]

shut up and keep sucking !
which trailer is our one ?
can somebody hold this horses head ?

quick joke,

This guy walks into a bar in Redneck county and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from England."

The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in England?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"

The guy says, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

 

[symbiote420]

"Ya'll not from round here?"

"mo" = more

"Lawd" = the Lord

 

[DTFuqua]

It's not 40 leven hells or anything like that. It's forty leven dozen.

 

[Crooked8]

Hes more confused than an amish electrician in a power plant

 

[Midnite Toker]

Say what now?

 

[willyweed]

it was that windy it blew me of my sister !

 

[SpasticGramps]

I'm from Louisiana we have all kinds of sayin's.

"You gonna get down?" (Are you getting out of the car?)

Fixin' to....... (I'm fixin' to whoop your ass.)

"There ya go." (Person 1: "Billybob shit his drawers when the cops arrested him" Person 2: "There ya go."

"Useless as tits on a bull"

"Nervous as a whore in church."

"Sha baby!" (That's a cute baby)

"It's like watchin' a monkey fuck a football." (Look at this idiot.)

 

[dansbuds]

Hornier than a 2 peckered billy goat !!!

 

[dddaver]

There's always, "Get 'er done" unless of course...look, a squirrel!