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YOUR BEST CHINA TAKE OVER JOKES PLEASE!!!

supermanlives

supermanlives

Active member
Veteran
unlimited peking duck and orange chicken an I will put my hands up and point to my leader. sweet an sour pork too.instead of soldiers and collectors send delivery guys . unlimited Chinese food ya mmmmmmmmm cashew chicken too. mutherfuckers there aint any chinesse within 45 miles each way. and I am stoned got munchies and yall got me thinking Chinese food. hmmm I do have a wok and some stuff lol
 
F

FRIENDinDEED

A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A . . .
Veteran
I imagine them just going around claiming shit
dialogue/skit: (chinaman claiming starbucks)

(chinaman walks into starbucks)
chinaman: you all reave now, this my store and I want closed now!
starbucksemployee: ah sir I cant just close the . . .
(slaps the shit outta employee)
chinaman: you shut the fruck up an reave now! I own store not rou, you awr reave right fruckin now!!
starbucksemployee: sir the owner is standing right over there talking to that customer and im sure he'd be more than willing to . . .
(chinaman slaps the shit outta the employee)
chinaman: you shut the fruck up, you frired you take off aprwon and reave now!!!
(walks over to owner)
chinaman: hey rou, rou white Chinese, I talking to rou!!
owner: excuse me sir am a white ameri . . .
(slaps the shit outta owner)
chinaman: frirst of awr you own nofing!! I own dis schtore not rou, you white Chinese fruck!!
owner: excuse the fuck outta me pal but this is America and . . .(under his breath "what the fuck")
(slaps the shit outta owner again)
chinaman: no no no you white Chinese pwrick dis WAS America! it now china republic! I own store, I own rou, rour kids, rour frucking wrife, employees, store I own everything in shtore! you work for me now and I wrant store closed now!! have to revamp and crear it out, make room for raundry and tea shop we sell opium in back.
owner: yes sir I . . .
(slaps the shit outta owner)
chinaman: no no no, white Chinese, you say it propery, now how you say?
(owner mumbles) (china man slaps shit outta owner again)
chinaman: uh uh, you spreak up, now say again louder!! how you say
owner:( mumbles) Shì de, xiānshēng
chinaman: what you say? louder muderfrucka!
owner: SHI DE, XIANSHENG!!
chinaman: good boy, good boy
 
F

FRIENDinDEED

A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A . . .
Veteran
MildeStoner said:
Is this thread racist?
Click to expand...

nah man not racist at all! just simply poking fun.

ofcourse some ppl will be offended, some will join in and understand its just jokes and then ofcourse there will be the occasional jerk/asshole that is gonna take IT some other way than HOW its supposed to be taken. this is icmag and imore than expect it

but since china officially owns America I figured we could trade some witty course banter over the whole affair.

to all you bitch asses: TAKE IT EASY, ITS JUST JOKES!!!
so mild stoner what you got?
 
F

FRIENDinDEED

A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A . . .
Veteran
Capt.Ahab said:
The only joke here is you, FriendinDeed. GFY.
Click to expand...

hey what does the whole GFY thing mean? and I just love the way you typed out my whole name, kinda creepy but respectful.


lol, oh yeah im sorry I forgot and btw GO FUCK YOURSELF! thanks for stoping by though :thank you::moon::comfort:

hey come back with a joke or two maybe?

EDIT: HOLY SHIT!! GFY does mean go fuck yourself, I just got it!! ha ha, imagine that we used the same thing but in a different way! did you see that huh huh?! awe who am I kidin' of course you did.
 
TPFTFW

TPFTFW

Active member
Veteran
Obama takes off the mask and the platform shoes...

hello kitty bullshit will be everywhere

our prison systems will be the new cheap labor powerhouse for the globe..
"made in America by felons" on every shirty toy out there

hopefully we will get a new currency that ISN'T a joke.

might continue to climb down the ladder of worlds fattest country

Hemp will finally be legalized?

also gropings on public transportation will go up several thousand %
 
N

noyd666

U.S.-China Relations

Long View of History

True story. Henry Kissinger was in China in 1972, laying the groundwork for President Nixon's visit. At a meeting with Chinese prime minister Chou En-Lai, Mr. Mr. Kissinger asked the prime minister if he believed whether the 1789 French Revolution benefited humanity. After mulling over the question for a few minutes, Chou En-Lai replied, "It's too early to tell."

Naval Interactions

This is a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Chinese authorities off the coast of Vietnam in South China Sea in October 1980. Presumably a true story.

Chinese: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
Chinese: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Chinese: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier USS MIDWAY, the second largest ship in the United States Pacific Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Chinese: This is a lighthouse. You are on the course to collide with a Vietnamese fishing boat filled with hundreds refugees!

Credit: Author unknown.
 
dddaver

dddaver

Active member
Veteran
YES, this is racist! WTF? Somebody must be offensive and everyone should just be bow your head and take it, or this just isn't America apparently.

Dude, I sacrificed just so you can say exactly shit like that. But, wrong place, wrong time. Isn't this against the TOU?

If you have this opinion fine. But that's ALL it is. Don't be misrepresenting it as an accepted fact. It's not.
 
HidingInTheHaze

HidingInTheHaze

Active member
Veteran
How do you know there's been a Chinese takeover?

Your math homework is done, your computer is fixed and 9 hours later they're still trying to back their tank out of your driveway.
 
Eighths-n-Aces

Eighths-n-Aces

Active member
Veteran
the real joke is that china wouldn't want to take over the present clusterfuck anyway


but it might be wise to remember that chess was invented in asia ........ just sayin
 
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