There are always exceptions, but as a rule, for the majority, social status, and all things that are associated with this status matter a lot.
And obviously, not everyone is so dependent on what others think of them, but they are still dependent enough to take into account what they do, wear, say, etc.
...at least if they are honest with themselves.
Plus, if you observe, you are still dependent on what others think, otherwise you wouldn't have written all those things in your post. You actually want others to think you are NOT like those folks that are chasing social status, you are different from them.
...the truth is you are just as dependent, but use different beliefs and assumptions.
...you were programmed a little different by the culture (people) where you grew up.
...you identify with different concepts, but the structure of your life is the same as everyone else's.
...you are doing everything possible to survive as the self you believe yourself to be.
You make far too many assumptions in your blanket characterizations of people. I didn't say what I said because I want others to think I'm different. I said what I said because I see examples around me everyday that totally conflicts with what you're suggesting is true of most people.
The fact is I don't care what most others think because most others are only people I come into contact with briefly and they will think what they're going to think and I'm not going to waste my time and energy trying to change what they think.
Now that's not to say I don't care what anyone thinks, there are people in my life that are important to me, my wife, my family, good friends, those people I care about what they think but that's on a much deeper level then the superficial bullshit of what clothes I'm wearing and who they are made by. Those people have already accepted the way I dress or things like how I wear my hair. So petty nonsense like that doesn't even enter into the equation.
The only "true self" you have is the one you create.
And all the milk and cookies and philosophical shit doesn't change the simple fact if you play with fire you get burned. Doesn't matter how much you tell yourself it is ice.
It isn't purely perception and how you choose to interpret observed data. There is fact. There are absolutes.
To say otherwise only means you don't like existence in it's most simple form - you are here. You exist - and SO WHAT. You need to feel intelligent and enlightened is all you are feeding inside this bubble. But like you said - whatever makes your "reality" bearable...
SF - you know we have DRASTICALLY different opinions on our world views. I think to talk to you in person, I would laugh in your face - but it wouldn't be out of thinking you were ignorant and I surely wouldn't want to offend you - but this line of thinking just seems so absolutely sip the kool-aid in the plastic cup.