how to deal w/ wealth Q?....and having to cut my damn dreads for it (in a way).

[NOKUY]

ow shit! dem dreadz gotta go for $? damn, spoken like a true rasta fighting the evil babylon system ROFL!

blessss
ps.: cut dreads, get $, get extension dreads

nope...im gonna wash and condition my hair and cut it out as long as possible....(if i cut at all)...then ill dread it again....what a fuckin charade

 

[supermanlives]

condition your lips . no one likes chapped lips when their getting their ass kissed

 

[rives]

an almost 40 year old w/ dreads is making a serious statement.

Yep, I'd agree with this completely. Unfortunately, I have serious doubts that the "statement" you are making bears any resemblance to the one that is being received.

 

[NOKUY]

Yep, I'd agree with this completely. Unfortunately, I have serious doubts that the "statement" you are making bears any resemblance to the one that is being received.

bet.

 

[DimeBag65]

Yukon, long time bud... i havnt posted in a long time but i found this thread intriguing, more so by the responses from individuals than the situation itself!

The shift in people attitude towards YOU seemed to change the minute you brought up $$$$$, i could comment on all the psychology going into the different stances people have on your situation but i digress...

i understand the importance you are putting into your hair, because it means something to you for multiple reasons... but in the larger picture your hair isent even a fraction of the issues going into this situation.

your issues with your parents will not be solved by you cutting your hair, or jumping through the hoops to attain your financial security ... but it is a means to an end... these days it is those of us who are "enlightened" that have to take the steps to mend relationships especially with old fashioned parents who grew up with their way of thinking being RIGHT, and the normal way ... if or when you work things out with your parents it will have to be you making the steps to open up the communication and understanding...

on one hand you dont want to feel like your bowing to your parents wishes to receive this money, and in turn feeling like your giving something up within yourself.

i would suggest to not compromise yourself(even if this includes cutting your hair), be real with your parents as much as you possibly can , but at this point this is all business with your parents, they arent calling all their kids down to reconnect hugs and kisses status... this is about their kids futures, and will probly KNOW what is best for you, even though you dont realize it.


So at this point you could refuse the money, and give your parents the big fuck you, which might feel good for a minute, but would not lead to there ever being a possibility of a relationship with them... in their eyes this is their way of reaching out to their kids, and trying to do something that will help them out for the rest of their lives.

I would accept what they have to offer, but as a MAN, you have your life and family, i would accept whatever they are willing to give you on YOUR terms, if they want to put some stipulation in about where you live, or what you do... then i would personally turn down the conditions, in which case i would go the route of setting your son up for life...

if you have to clean up a little for them to feel better about you receiving a large amount of money than do it! just keep them out of the personal aspect of your life, aka life decisions.

anyways best wishes with your situation, and good luck with this thread

once you mentioned that you may receive a substantial amount of money , you just became "the man" on here! lol now everyone has a reason to hate

 

[supermanlives]

naw i gave him hell even when i thought he was broke

 

[StinkyGreen]

I agree with TMB, this is a fascinating thread. I find most of the advice here well intentioned, and that the diverse opinions simply reflect the complexity of the situation. A large gift of money will change your life. It may make it better, or worse. This is why your parents want you to meet with wealth management professionals. They want what is best for you and your family, so they've called in people who will help make sure it doesn't mess you up. They're not being paid to screw you over, they're being paid to help you. Listen to what they have to say.

Money itself is not inherently evil - it is a tool, and like any tool can be used for good or evil. It's just like a knife, which can be used to kill you, prepare your food, or save your life. It all depends on how it is used. Any tool can be misused and dangerous in the hands of someone who has not been trained in how to use it, who wields it recklessly, or who chooses to use it in the pursuit of destructive goals. It's the same thing with money.

Having a lot of money can "amplify" patterns in your life. You like to eat out? Now you can do it every day. You like bikes? Now you can own as many as you like and ride as much as you want. You don't like having a boss? You can tell him to f-off and quit. You like to relax and drink or smoke weed? Now you can do it 24x7. The problem is, taken to extremes many behaviors can be self-destructive. The fact that most people have to work for money constrains their actions to somewhat reasonable behavior. You have to get up every day and go to work. You have to make an effort to get along with others. You have to plan ahead, save a little, and prioritize your spending. If suddenly you don't have to do any of that, it it very easy to become unglued. This happens all the time, and I've even seen it happen to a friend who hit the jackpot during the .com boom in the late 90's (he eventually pulled his life back together and has gone back to work just to stay sane.)

Everyone knows that money is not what is most important in life, yet most of us don't have the luxury of not worrying about it. For better or worse, this keeps us productively engaged in society. Earning your own money also gives you a sense of self-worth. Don't underestimate the power of that. That's why some trust fund babies are so unhappy - they've been robbed of one of the most fundamental ways of feeling good about themselves: making it on their own. Make sure you don't do that to Hunter. Think about the example you will be setting for him as a man, husband, and father.

Gingerale has good advice about managing your own money, but with all due respect, my take is that you're not ready for this. If you would like to do it, tell your advisers that you would like to learn how, and they can make provisions for it in the future (say, release some money for you to manage after you complete a course on financial management.) Be honest with yourself about how you want to spend your time though. Managing money is not for everyone.

Ultimately, this is not about your hair. It's about responsibility. Money bequeaths power, and with power comes responsibility. Your hair-style is simply a symbol of your attitude towards life to date. The real question is how are you going to handle this new responsibility? (Yes, money is both a gift, and a curse.) That's what the folks meeting with you will be trying to determine.

 

[187020]

...im gonna wash and condition my hair and cut it out

 

[HighPlainsToker]

When this thread started I thought it was about the difficulties of dealing with sudden wealth, family relationships, parental conflict and control, planning for the future.

But it's really about whether a 39 year old man should keep his dreads. What a wrenching decision to have to make!

 

[KSP]

I wonder if you could use them like scouring pads. Might be good for cast iron skillets, would clean but probably not abrade the seasoning of the skillet.

 

[Shcrews]

who gives a fuck what your hair looks like... are you a trustafarian?

if you want the money get that money

if not, resume normal life.

always be honest and compassionate, everything else will sort itself out.

good luck!

 

[NOKUY]

Yukon, long time bud... i havnt posted in a long time but i found this thread intriguing, more so by the responses from individuals than the situation itself!

The shift in people attitude towards YOU seemed to change the minute you brought up $$$$$, i could comment on all the psychology going into the different stances people have on your situation but i digress...

i understand the importance you are putting into your hair, because it means something to you for multiple reasons... but in the larger picture your hair isent even a fraction of the issues going into this situation.

your issues with your parents will not be solved by you cutting your hair, or jumping through the hoops to attain your financial security ... but it is a means to an end... these days it is those of us who are "enlightened" that have to take the steps to mend relationships especially with old fashioned parents who grew up with their way of thinking being RIGHT, and the normal way ... if or when you work things out with your parents it will have to be you making the steps to open up the communication and understanding...

on one hand you dont want to feel like your bowing to your parents wishes to receive this money, and in turn feeling like your giving something up within yourself.

i would suggest to not compromise yourself(even if this includes cutting your hair), be real with your parents as much as you possibly can , but at this point this is all business with your parents, they arent calling all their kids down to reconnect hugs and kisses status... this is about their kids futures, and will probly KNOW what is best for you, even though you dont realize it.


So at this point you could refuse the money, and give your parents the big fuck you, which might feel good for a minute, but would not lead to there ever being a possibility of a relationship with them... in their eyes this is their way of reaching out to their kids, and trying to do something that will help them out for the rest of their lives.

I would accept what they have to offer, but as a MAN, you have your life and family, i would accept whatever they are willing to give you on YOUR terms, if they want to put some stipulation in about where you live, or what you do... then i would personally turn down the conditions, in which case i would go the route of setting your son up for life...

if you have to clean up a little for them to feel better about you receiving a large amount of money than do it! just keep them out of the personal aspect of your life, aka life decisions.

anyways best wishes with your situation, and good luck with this thread

once you mentioned that you may receive a substantial amount of money , you just became "the man" on here! lol now everyone has a reason to hate

there is no way zero of 3 ppl fount that post helpful....ive read it several time and it peaks truth and volumes...im gonna even send via e-mail to my mom...who half gets it...


...very awesome post bro

 

[supermanlives]

cut you hair ,play nice and shutup. alot of peeps would kill to be in your place. take your cash move to alaska and come up with some new threads that dont involve your hair

 

[supermanlives]

soon you can brag about all the cash you got

 

[BrnCow]

You know what it is going to take....so just do the deal and you will soon have your gold stake!!!! Oh yeah, send me a nug...lol

 

[BrnCow]

Don't tell anyone shit or they will be looking to get a cut...stash the excess in some investment accounts and later on your airs will be fixed!

 

[rives]

Ok Yukon, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Exactly what is the “serious statement “ that you think is being made by a nearly 40-year old white man with dreads? I’m curious because, while I strive not to be judgmental, my reaction on the rare occasion that I have seen that particular combination is not positive. Bear in mind that while I am in my mid-50’s and have always lived in the California mountains, I also had a waist-length braid for about 30 years. Most of the people with dreads that I have been near are younger than you and had, shall we say, a certain miasma around them that was far from pleasant. Aside from a small minority that supported themselves by growing our favorite herb, the bulk of the aficionado’s of this coiffure were traveling around the countryside marveling at nature’s bounty in over-crowded, derelict school buses. I live in a particularly beautiful area that tends to attract a large group of these folks during the warmer weather, and they invariably leave a trail of debris and irritated merchants behind them, seemingly in conflict with their core philosophies. Please enlighten me as to what the message is that you are trying to communicate.

 

[NOKUY]

Ok Yukon, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Exactly what is the “serious statement “ that you think is being made by a nearly 40-year old white man with dreads? I’m curious because, while I strive not to be judgmental, my reaction on the rare occasion that I have seen that particular combination is not positive. Bear in mind that while I am in my mid-50’s and have always lived in the California mountains, I also had a waist-length braid for about 30 years. Most of the people with dreads that I have been near are younger than you and had, shall we say, a certain miasma around them that was far from pleasant. Aside from a small minority that supported themselves by growing our favorite herb, the bulk of the aficionado’s of this coiffure were traveling around the countryside marveling at nature’s bounty in over-crowded, derelict school buses. I live in a particularly beautiful area that tends to attract a large group of these folks during the warmer weather, and they invariably leave a trail of debris and irritated merchants behind them, seemingly in conflict with their core philosophies. Please enlighten me as to what the message is that you are trying to communicate.

nothing much...just fuck off, leave me alone, what ?, plus can see ppl right thru thsir skin when the instantly "react" to dreads...they don't hide it...lol

 

[Luv-U-Long-Time]

If your folks could see this thread,your threads in general, do you think a haircut would fool them?

That is what you're attempting to do afterall.

 

[cannascholar]

do something noble and donate a large sum to the ron paul campaign