In-laws

[Stress_test]

Well I have to feel for ya.

When I was married to my 6th wife, her brother was strung on coke and stole his dads truck and wiped out his accounts in Vegas. I told him and all his family that I refused to ever be within rifle shot of him. My MIL mouthed off about "my self righteous attitude" and I told her the same thing.
Well I'm no longer in that family anymore but they never ripped me off or compromised the integrity of my own home and sanctuary.

A person has to insist that their sanctuary isn't violated. When your own home is no longer a secure sanctuary then it is human nature to explore other options. Explain to you wife that your sanctuary is being violated and that you can't live like that.
It would be no different than you deciding to raise deadly snakes in the bedroom: The snakes would go or she would look someplace else for her sanctuary.

 

[el dub]

THis has little to do with the MIL and everything to do with the relationship between you and your wife. But for some reason, you are blind to that reality. Btw, what would you care as to the complaints the MIL makes to others in the family?

I think the problem, deep down, is that you are afraid if push comes to shove, your wife will choose her mother and you have more fear of losing your wife than disgust for the in-laws bad behavior.

One more question..... What was life like in your home growing up? I get the feeling that dysfunction has been part of your life from the get go.

Why do I ask? I grew up in a dysfunctional home with a mother who apparently saw my father every time she looked at me. (My father was the guy who knocked her up fresh out of high school in 1961, married her and then fled the state with her wedding ring and a watch belonging to my grandfather.) ANyway, my mother was psychological abusive to me from the time I was a small boy and the daughters she later had treated me as they saw their mother do. Step-father also later admitted to me that my mother had poisoned my relationship with him by constantly complaining about me when he was on the road, He'd then take it out on me when he returned home. He put two and two together only after I'd left the house and my mother started complaining about their oldest daughter in the same way as she'd done to me.

Anyway, I have a wife who has helped me break out of those abusive relationships. But it sounds like you are willing to accept some bad behavior from others, for some reason, that most would deem clearly unacceptable.

Good luck.

lw

 

[WoodElephant]

I'm just tired of kicking the MIL out. I'm sure she complains to the her extended family that I'm keeping her from seeing her daughter.
Still looking for better solutions...

Well, it's happened again. The MIL was supposed to be here for the weekend and now on Monday, a beautiful travel day, it's been announced her ride back home isn't going to leave until tomorrow. However, tomorrow is predicted to be a heavy snow day so we're looking at Wednesday, possibly Thursday...maybe Friday...etc. etc. etc.

After she finally leaves, it takes me days to get back into my creative mode before being so rudely interrupted. Before I know it, a week or two has passed and she's right back again.

I'd really like to take off for a while right now. Problem is, the MIL will still be here when I get back. This is putting a strain on our marriage which I'm sure pleases the MIL to no end. She's just not happy until everyone is as miserably divorced as she is. Perhaps this way, she can get her daughter to live with her (which seems to be the only person interested in this scenerio).

I'm not exactly sure why this thread is continuing...you have a legitimate problem with invasion of privacy, yet can't/won't do anything about it. You've heard plenty of reasonable suggestions on how to correct it.

If it bothers you enough that your work is compromised, it's worth bringing up to your wife. If you feel you can't bring it up to her, what does that say about your relationship with her? She may not like it, but if she loves you, she should be able to understand that you are at wit's end and have to have a change.

Things aren't going to get better. The only thing you have to look forward to now is the MIL/BIL croaking, and who knows how long that's going to take? Do you really want to be in a situation like this for as long that takes?

I'm 24 and have never been married, but...come on...this isn't rocket science.

"All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one."

...words to live by...

Good luck with the MIL/BIL from hell!
__________________
DISCLAIMER:
This is not a personal attack on you, my friend. I'm not in your situation, and therefore can't fully understand all the dynamics at play. This is just my based on reading this thread.

 

[f1auto]

If you have a mother in law living with you and your wife, who takes pleasure in the disintegration of you and your wifes relationship, why dont you tell her she has to move, its your house. If she is causing problems in your relationship (she obviously dosnt like u and vice versa) then she must go. What else are the options? ultimation to ur wife that ul move out if she insists on her mother in law on being there.

Thats what I'd do.

hope u get it sorted bud

 

[Lord Doobie]

It seems fukstick1 (MIL) got into our pantry and cooked up all the top ramen she could find then left a huge pile of it on the stove. Also, fukstick1 has been busy running our dishwasher 3 times a day and the washer/dryer constantly ever since she got here...

Now my wife is screwing up by over-reacting to our cat. It's got a cold. However, she ran off and got $400 of pet insurance then took it to the humane society's care center for an additional $150. They told her the cat had a cold. Of course, the care center wants to run plenty of more tests, bloodwork, and prescribe many medications...

Let's see...that's only $550 in less than 12 hours

I think these women have gone absolutely nuts and are way out of control. They seem to feed off each other and are probably best left alone to enjoy each other's company.

Any growing or artwork production is completely out of the question...

 

[BOSCO]

It seems fukstick1 (MIL) got into our pantry and cooked up all the top ramen she could find then left a huge pile of it on the stove. Also, fukstick1 has been busy running our dishwasher 3 times a day and the washer/dryer constantly ever since she got here...

Now my wife is screwing up by over-reacting to our cat. It's got a cold. However, she ran off and got $400 of pet insurance then took it to the humane society's care center for an additional $150. They told her the cat had a cold. Of course, the care center wants to run plenty of more tests, bloodwork, and prescribe many medications...

Let's see...that's only $550 in less than 12 hours

I think these women have gone absolutely nuts and are way out of control. They seem to feed off each other and are probably best left alone to enjoy each other's company.

Put the keyboard down and go tell the wife this shit is pissing you off, it's that simple!!!
If you cant do that then go take a course on how to be assertive because it sounds like you need to, bro.
If you dont put your foot down and speak your mind then you may as well just accept that this is how things are going to be forever or until the divorce papers are signed.

 

[Duplicate]

It's got a cold. However, she ran off and got $400 of pet insurance then took it to the humane society's care center for an additional $150.

What the hell is the insurance for then? Heh, my step-mother used to sell pet insurance.

ny growing or artwork production is completely out of the question...

Only for you man, only for you. Many others would deal with these problems and move on.

I'll be honest here and say I can be a pretty big pussy. I hate confrontation. Like you, I will usually avoid it if at all possible. To me though, your situation sounds straight up silly. You're completely in the right to not want these people in your life like they are. Just like I told my wife when her dad was trying to pressure her into letting him buy a mattress for us (power play): Do you want to be married to me or to your Dad?

If you're looking for someone to, uh, "blame" I guess you might say for taking control of your kingdom why not try counseling? That way you will have an unbiased third party to tell your wife that her mother in law is not good for your guys' marriage.

 

[Panama Red]

Lady Doobie.......

 

[f1auto]

Has anyone in this thread kicked out their motherinlaw yet?

I'm taking bets as to whos motherinlaw is next,

Duplicate 7-2

Lord Doobie 3-1 (fav)

Thats to be kicked out of the house before Easter Sunday

Place your bets

 

[paladin420]

Nail the MIL in the living room!! Tell the BIL he's next! that should work -

 

[Duplicate]

Has anyone in this thread kicked out their motherinlaw yet?

I'm taking bets as to whos motherinlaw is next,

Duplicate 7-2

Lord Doobie 3-1 (fav)

Thats to be kicked out of the house before Easter Sunday

Place your bets

lol my mother in-law is chill she can stay as long as she likes.

 

[Lord Doobie]

There's some funny stuff here. The kids are repeating themselves but they're retarded anyway. Just wait 'till they get their first MIL.

I got a chance to get away from the whole mess yesterday and regain what little patience of Sainthood I've left.

I've even weathered the visiting BIL by keeping my headphones on

Only 48 more hours

Truely, patience is virtue

 

[Sam the Caveman]

Oh great, it sounds like you've avoided dealing properly with you situation for one more day.

How do you feel being an unwelcomed visitor in your own home?

Why can't you offer to take your mil home? Oh mom, you ride can't get here until tomorrow, I'll gladly take you home, its no problem, I'll help you pack.

They are getting no resistance from you, you allowing them to walk all over you. Put the pressure on them, make them feel unwelcomed, because they are. Its your home and you don't want them there. Visitors in your home should be mutually welcomed by you and your wife, if they are not, they are not visitors.

Your going to let this shit build up and your going to blow one day and your wife is going to get it. Some of which she deserves, but this situation is mainly your fault, you allow it to happen.

 

[MrDanky]

lord doobie....


change your name to lord pussie .....


easy as that...


grow some fucking balls, or continue to get [whatever is in between your legs] to get kicked....




i know what type of person you are - you are the dweeb of the millenium who has always been pushed around his whole life by EVERYONE he has ever encountered, from the kids in kindergarten, to middle schoolers, to high schoolers, to co-workers, to wife, and now to mother in law...


seriously, take a stance, stick up for yourself.........


...or dont...

.....dont take a stance, and just continue making these bullshit whiny threads, where you seek out some fantasy ideas that you would NEVER have the balls to even remotely do.....

.... are you a LORD, or are you a PUSSIE? ......... ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE......

 

[MrDanky]

I've even weathered the visiting BIL by keeping my headphones on

lemme guess, you were listening to PANTERA, slipknot, and hatebreed.... conjuring up all sorts of ideas and ways to slash the BILS fucking throat...


meanwhile sitting there in your nut hugging corduroys, button down plaid shirt, with pocket protector, and bow tie on.... smiling, blowing bubbles, skipping around your apartment....



seriously... grow some fucking balls... if you are scared of getting beat up by the BIL, then do some push-ups and sit-ups... they WILL make you stronger...

 

[Sam the Caveman]

this thread is officially

YUMMIFIED

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

swear to gawd

 

[BOSCO]

swear to gawd

Save your breath bro, once your Yummified even God cant help you.

May God have mercy on us all

 

[el dub]

My guess is that the OP maybe watched his mother run roughshod over his father while he was a kid. Finding his wife was going home to mom... And papa having no sack made it easy for yummy2's wife to geld him, too.

But papa warned him that divorce was the worse thing that could happen to a man. And it was the strength of those words that have allowed yummy2 to suck it up and be the eunuch his father always wanted him to be.

So yummy2 found a woman he considered to be out of his league. He knows he'll never be able to replace this one, no matter how bad it gets. So he comes here and vents because that's a lot less scary than really doing something about the fucked up mess he's allowed himself to be drawn into.

lw

 

[MrDanky]

so whats up lord pootie tang... whats the verdict