Weird thing that happened to you!

[crazybear]

I'll start. Had a 1966 ford fairlane w/ automatic trans, and cheap headers. The shiffter on the column didn't shift the trans all the way into park. So I bought a hurst shifter, went to install shifter , instructions said to cut off or remove shift attachment lever from side of trans. so you could put there attach bracket onto the trans.
So I figured the quickest easiest way was a cutting torch, so I get under there at work with the cutting torch laying on my side cut off the shift attach bracket, it falls off hits I guess the header a piece of semi molten steel is knocked off , falls and a direct hit all the way down my ear canal.
Plus had to put out the slight fire on side of trans from transmission fluid & put out the torch. Before I could get out from under car & cuss like hell. That fucking shit hurt!
Never went to the Dr. I think the piece finally came out like ten years later!

 

[Protea]

bah, that must have hurt like nothing

when i first moved to switzerland we rentet an old chalet far up a mountain side. the land was badly landscaped, so one side of the property was very steep. so steep that it was hard to mow, so in early summer the grass had grown high, and the land lord came to "show me how to do it, AGAIN, narky fucker, that landlord." so he is mowing the lawn, and i am standing watching adn smoking a sig. whit out any fore warning at all, a stone is trown from the lawn mower, and hits me on the cock. it was so painfull that i fainted, my dick had a centimetre gash.
i pissed blood for a few days, then after a few weeks it worked ok again.

 

[Seismic]

Jeez protea, that is some bad luck taking a cock shot

 

[Nicoli]

bah, that must have hurt like nothing

when i first moved to switzerland we rentet an old chalet far up a mountain side. the land was badly landscaped, so one side of the property was very steep. so steep that it was hard to mow, so in early summer the grass had grown high, and the land lord came to "show me how to do it, AGAIN, narky fucker, that landlord." so he is mowing the lawn, and i am standing watching adn smoking a sig. whit out any fore warning at all, a stone is trown from the lawn mower, and hits me on the cock. it was so painfull that i fainted, my dick had a centimetre gash.
i pissed blood for a few days, then after a few weeks it worked ok again.

hahaha! sorry to laugh but... i did.

loll.

 

[ddrew]

In jr high school gym class I was walking out the door of the gym to the field and someone already out there threw a hail mary pass to me, only I had no idea it was coming, football hit me dead center dick and balls, I fell down, kinda rolled back in the door, and just sat up against the wall rocking back and forth moaning for about 15 minutes, it hurt to much to even cry.
Worst nut shot I've ever taken

 

[crazybear]

bah, that must have hurt like nothing

when i first moved to switzerland we rentet an old chalet far up a mountain side. the land was badly landscaped, so one side of the property was very steep. so steep that it was hard to mow, so in early summer the grass had grown high, and the land lord came to "show me how to do it, AGAIN, narky fucker, that landlord." so he is mowing the lawn, and i am standing watching adn smoking a sig. whit out any fore warning at all, a stone is trown from the lawn mower, and hits me on the cock. it was so painfull that i fainted, my dick had a centimetre gash.
i pissed blood for a few days, then after a few weeks it worked ok again.

Damn Protea at least it still works! I'll bet that hurt! Did you get a pretty swiss lass to kiss it ? That would make it feel better!

 

[crazybear]

In jr high school gym class I was walking out the door of the gym to the field and someone already out there threw a hail mary pass to me, only I had no idea it was coming, football hit me dead center dick and balls, I fell down, kinda rolled back in the door, and just sat up against the wall rocking back and forth moaning for about 15 minutes, it hurt to much to even cry.
Worst nut shot I've ever taken

Damn another nut shot they always hurt , just thinking about it makes me hurt! Kiss it here baby it will make it feel better!

 

[Photorikki]

omg-
these stories are hysterical-
And boy do I need to laugh!

I was at the lake fishing when I was about 15.
I walked behind a guy who raised his rod behind his head to cast and somehow the hook went right into my eye.
He was tugging on his rod to cast and I was saying "wait a minute-wait a minute".

I pulled the hook out with the piece of corn bait still on it and gave it back.
It just missed my eyeball and didn't damage a thing.
The guy was kinda freaked out but it didn't do a thing to me.

 

[RewTheJew]

when i was in high school, i played on the tennis team (no cuts, and friends played). It used to be a big game to try and hit each other in the testes. Well, i was jogging laps one day, and a buddy (if you can call him that) lined up a nice serve, that hit me square in the junk. Never felt so bad. I nearly threw up, and was out for a few hours. Felt bad, man.

 

[Protea]

No need to be sorry, the landlord laughed, a lot. then i called gf. and she laughed so much she might have had and misshap. its a good story, never fails to get a laugh.

omg. fish hook in the eye, scary stuff.

 

[Wiggs Dannyboy]

I was at the lake fishing when I was about 15.
I walked behind a guy who raised his rod behind his head to cast and somehow the hook went right into my eye.
He was tugging on his rod to cast and I was saying "wait a minute-wait a minute".

I pulled the hook out with the piece of corn bait still on it and gave it back.
It just missed my eyeball and didn't damage a thing.
The guy was kinda freaked out but it didn't do a thing to me.

Damn! The same thing happened to a childhood friend of mine, except it was fishing on a stream, not a lake. T'was freaky for sure, seeing a worm hanging from his eyelid.

Here's mine:

Portland, Oregon has a rep as being weird, so, regarding Portland and its weirdness....this really happened to me, a few weeks ago. I had just had breakfast with my friend Flo....and drove to a street called Belmont which has a lot of hip businesses and cafe's, to walk up the street on one side and back down the other just to check things out. I walked about 30 blocks up the hill and then back down to the street where I had parked my truck.

The side street I had parked on was lined with real big oaks or something, and as I approached my truck I noticed there were some large burls that had been trimmed off some of the trees sitting on the grass between the curb and the sidewalk. I found these quite fascinating, and bent over to get a closer look, thinking I might load them into the back of my truck for future carving possibilities. so, I'm just inspecting these beautiful hunks of burl (they were about 15" in diameter), when out of the corner of my eye I notice something approaching.

I look up to see a giant dog trotting towards me. It was some variant of a mastiff, not sure which kind it was, but it was fucking huge. Anyway, not being afraid of dogs, and thinking it was coming to say hello to me, I straightened up and said "Hey Boy!"

Well, he trotted a few more trots and arrived at my position, looked me in the eye, then looked down at the largest of the burls, and then lifted his fucking leg and let loose with a stream of piss that would make a fire hose proud. That BASTARD! He doused that burl thoroughly! I immediately reconsidered the nature of this encounter and realized that this KUJO had not come as a friend, but as a competitor.

So, I did a quick assessment if there was any danger from this monster, and decided he posed no physical threat. Then I burst out with a huge gut busting laugh because, really, this was one of the funniest things that had ever happened to me. I stood there, ASTOUNDED, and watched that mofo piss on my burl, all while he looked straight through me like I wasn't even there.

After watching this bizarre scene unfold for 20 seconds or so, laughing my ass off the entire time, I decided to leave these burls to this monster who had laid claim to them. I jumped into my truck and watched KUJO continue to piss for about a full minute. He finished, looked at me in my truck, then trotted back from whence he came. That fellow must have had a bladder the size of a keg.

There is a famous bumper sticker that is ubiquitous in the city, it says, "Keep Portland weird." That isn't going to be a problem.

 

[crazybear]

I should of named this the dumbest thing you have ever done!
I liked in Germany for a while when I was in the military ! So anyway the place had an elevator I found if you pushed on the door, the elevator would stop & then start-up after you released the door. So one day had some buds from the base with me we were riding in the elevator , so I thought it would be funny to fuck with them & stop the elevator thing, well the elevator didn't start back up & we HAD to get back to work, so I see the latch that holds the doors figure were near the right floor so I take my swiss army knife to release the latch! oh fuck I didn't see the wires going to the latch! As soon as I touched the latch I started getting shocked! I'll bet you could hear me scream everytime the electricity hit me at the top of the building!
The door did open got the latch released anyway! Boy was that shit funny!

 

[canadiancracker]

my fuel pump went on my 92 blazer, its the middel of november here in quebec canada and its about -10c no snow yet but its about to fall.. my father was a diesel mech and i was taught young to repair shit myself. so with a lack of tools at hand and being to cheap to tow it up to my fathers heated garage about 65kms away, i start the job in the city street outfront my apartment. i climbed over neath the truck and started to take of the plastic cover whatnot. get to a seized nut and bolt holding the gas tank brakets and straps.

so i decide to use the removable hitch and ball off my truck as a ratchet extension for more leverage. well being on my back underneath the truck with a lack of space, i decide to pull towards myself. well it slips off and i smash myself in the face with it and almost knock myself out. i had to pick up all my tools off the street to not get robbed load them into the truck and then tend to my face.

i had rub rash from forehead to chin and i smashed a tooth throu my lip. a nice scar on my lip and a nasty lump on the edge of my temple, while cleaning the black hole in my lip i got a headrush and passed the fuck out.. turns out i had given myself a minor concusion, but i didnt lose any teeth so it was all in all a good learning experience.

when doing mechanics or whatever.. push away from yourself and dont pry things towards yourself... learn this lesson from someone else and dont fuck yourself up this way youll feel stupid...

needless to say about 5 years later i did it again,. this time i was changing my electric water heater that had rusted out and i was recycling the copper fittings and elbows.. i had a 90deg elbow in the vise and was trying to remove a 3-4 inch piece of pipe from the elbow. well i had split the pipe into a nice jagged shape before it let lose and i stabbe my own face with it. about a half inch higher and i would have lost my eye...

"im sooo fucking lucky" i said turning around as littlemissgrow gasped laughing "what did you do???"

im happy thou it gave me a cool scar that makes me look like a badass

anyways once again because once wasnt enough for me...
do not pull things towards yourself. youll get fucked up lol

CC

 

[crazybear]

Damn that's fucked up canadiancracker I have hit myself in the face several times in the face but not had enough to put a tooth through my lip!
But I know what you mean about feeling stupid pushing on something to break it loose & smash a finger like I did twice, swearing the first time I wasn't going to be stupid enough not to do that again!!
Cold weather even makes it hurt worse when you mess up & hurt yourself doing something like that! I know from experience! 40 below wind chill is cold 20 below actual that's cold.

Yeah smoking weed got me through moments of stupidity.
Maybe smoking weed made me do what I did. Shit happens then Ya gotta laugh about it & go on With it learning something from it!

 

[BornToBeWild]

I have another fishing mishap! Buddy and I were fishing for catfish and his hook and sinker got caught on the bottom. He was tugging and tugging for a while and I was having a beer, and out of nowhere his hook must have broke off the line and out of nowhere his maybe 3-4oz sinker comes flying out of the water and busts me right between the eyes! I just remember seeing crooked and falling into the river. Everyone was laughing but I was cussing like a drunken sailor about an inch over and I would have probably got my eye knocked into brain. So from then on when someone gets snagged I walk away!

 

[Chief]

I was on a camping trip and we woke up early to go fishing. we are on the shore of the lake and i get hit by crazy cramps so i ran to a bush and came back with no socks.

 

[mdk ktm]

I was using a big cutting torch a few weeks ago, and on one piece I was cutting up a large drip of molten steel fell through a small hole in my jeans, and went down into my work boot and melted into my skin all the way down my ankle. I was screaming like a mofo, but I couldn't do anything about it, I was on a ladder with a big ass torch in my hand.

 

[genkisan]

In jr high school gym class I was walking out the door of the gym to the field and someone already out there threw a hail mary pass to me, only I had no idea it was coming, football hit me dead center dick and balls, I fell down, kinda rolled back in the door, and just sat up against the wall rocking back and forth moaning for about 15 minutes, it hurt to much to even cry.
Worst nut shot I've ever taken

That happened to me when I was about 8.........not fun at all.


Also had the toilet seat fall closed on my wee little kawk when I was about 4......fuckin' blood everywhere, big cut....still have a bit of a scar. That really fucking sucked.

 

[genkisan]

I was using a big cutting torch a few weeks ago, and on one piece I was cutting up a large drip of molten steel fell through a small hole in my jeans, and went down into my work boot and melted into my skin all the way down my ankle. I was screaming like a mofo, but I couldn't do anything about it, I was on a ladder with a big ass torch in my hand.

And that's why welding sucks moose peckers......at least IMHO.

 

[mule420]

So me and James are cruising in his pearl white 69 firebird and this chick is walking down the street I'm talking hott! We are all fuckered up all kinds of bad things for kids So we pulled up next to this honey and roll out the "sack" She was in... So we roll up to my house and on the front porch is a roll of barbed wire we spent the day pulling fence for my Dad.... And she was like you wanna tie me up with that??? I was like WTF did you just say? She said it again... I said are you a nutcase? Phone cord wont leave the same marks....