My Wife Hates That I Still Smoke ... W.T.F.
- Thread starter weedshooter
- Start date
i was loath to post in here but god damn most of the pain IC mags members experience in life is of thier own making. I am passionate about life transformation. Put your ego in the back of your head for a moment and read the following with an open mind.
My wife got so spun on my weeds that I grew in OUT house she tipped me off.
It led to me leaving an EXTREMELY lucrative career, dumping years worth of breeding work moms beans and all, countless dollars, having to raise my own kids, yada yada yada. and LEGIT thats just the good stuff.
This dynamic can happen in most relationships where people use any substances for recreation or balancing. not one party to blame in these situations.
Its gonna be hard to try to explain this but let me start pot has always been my best friend. It almost gives me an inner voice to self converse with. The real point is here is that there is some level of a person being an island unto themselves when high. Very much so with me and I had to learn to recognize and not let that comfort guide my decisions in relationships.
IME doing drugs to keep yourself leveled normally only puts each member of the relationship on the same page if they do the same drugs OR are truly healthy balanced individuals that use substances to balance their body chemistry.
Add to that most people don't know how to use ANY medication therapeutically even marijuana. Doctor's don't even articulate it to you they just treat you. But what is the purpose of the use of medicine and is it being applied in a positive therapeutic manner?
Due to marijuana's amazingly perfect bio-compatibility with the human body over medicating has very little side effect, but one big one is how it will effect the social dynamics of those around you especially if they are of a different mindset.
IMHO this IS the MOST common cause of relationship failure for many smokers and growers. The perception that getting high is more important than core human relationships, and lets be honest for many of us, myself included, we can't properly interact UNTIL we are high. Now add a significant other and it can appear to them that they play second fiddle to your drug of choice. Plain and simple this was the perception my wife had because my love affair was so strong with MJ
Now I still smoke very heavily, but its in lieu of other substances, but I understand that regardless of how much I smoke I need to be cognitive and GEL with the people that are important to me. In fact I found pot is very therapeutic in that certain strains can help facilitate my desire and capacity to interact effectively socially. Far more than the pharmaceutical solutions I have been prescribed.
This is what cause issues in my marriage. My medicine was not her medicine, and I learned that for me, most of the medicine I smoke is far too strong and not appropriate for those around me. So when I used to keep it social it was limiting those around me and they assumed it did the same with me.
Now that I use it to more as a personal therapeutic and less as an all inclusive lifestyle I can participate more effectively with not on the same page. It really didn't change my intake as much as it did my understanding of the social dynamics around me. I am for example far more discrete, because most people don't care if you medicate, they simply don't want it to be apparent enough that they would have be socially cognitive of the fact.
The love between me and mine was true and since we have reconciled and she lives a clean life and I have the liberty to medicate as needed without it interfering. It took a long time and a heap of understanding, but, its not beyond hope.
I gotta ask though cause everyone wants to throw her under the bus but fuck man if that was MY wife id have to ask myself where was I while she was getting hooked on booze and xannies? and Why didn't I say something then?
I wouldn't sell my own kids out that way, so why would I do the same to their mom or better yet, the person I promised to love and cherish.
See, as I see it most of you who complain about this shit can't take any level of discomfort or pain. Pain is a good thing, learn to understand it, react properly to it and you can solve the problems that cause it. Smoke it away and try to forget about it, the cause NEVER goes away.
People don't just drift apart over night. What is your role in this?
My wife got so spun on my weeds that I grew in OUT house she tipped me off.
It led to me leaving an EXTREMELY lucrative career, dumping years worth of breeding work moms beans and all, countless dollars, having to raise my own kids, yada yada yada. and LEGIT thats just the good stuff.
This dynamic can happen in most relationships where people use any substances for recreation or balancing. not one party to blame in these situations.
Its gonna be hard to try to explain this but let me start pot has always been my best friend. It almost gives me an inner voice to self converse with. The real point is here is that there is some level of a person being an island unto themselves when high. Very much so with me and I had to learn to recognize and not let that comfort guide my decisions in relationships.
IME doing drugs to keep yourself leveled normally only puts each member of the relationship on the same page if they do the same drugs OR are truly healthy balanced individuals that use substances to balance their body chemistry.
Add to that most people don't know how to use ANY medication therapeutically even marijuana. Doctor's don't even articulate it to you they just treat you. But what is the purpose of the use of medicine and is it being applied in a positive therapeutic manner?
Due to marijuana's amazingly perfect bio-compatibility with the human body over medicating has very little side effect, but one big one is how it will effect the social dynamics of those around you especially if they are of a different mindset.
IMHO this IS the MOST common cause of relationship failure for many smokers and growers. The perception that getting high is more important than core human relationships, and lets be honest for many of us, myself included, we can't properly interact UNTIL we are high. Now add a significant other and it can appear to them that they play second fiddle to your drug of choice. Plain and simple this was the perception my wife had because my love affair was so strong with MJ
Now I still smoke very heavily, but its in lieu of other substances, but I understand that regardless of how much I smoke I need to be cognitive and GEL with the people that are important to me. In fact I found pot is very therapeutic in that certain strains can help facilitate my desire and capacity to interact effectively socially. Far more than the pharmaceutical solutions I have been prescribed.
This is what cause issues in my marriage. My medicine was not her medicine, and I learned that for me, most of the medicine I smoke is far too strong and not appropriate for those around me. So when I used to keep it social it was limiting those around me and they assumed it did the same with me.
Now that I use it to more as a personal therapeutic and less as an all inclusive lifestyle I can participate more effectively with not on the same page. It really didn't change my intake as much as it did my understanding of the social dynamics around me. I am for example far more discrete, because most people don't care if you medicate, they simply don't want it to be apparent enough that they would have be socially cognitive of the fact.
The love between me and mine was true and since we have reconciled and she lives a clean life and I have the liberty to medicate as needed without it interfering. It took a long time and a heap of understanding, but, its not beyond hope.
I gotta ask though cause everyone wants to throw her under the bus but fuck man if that was MY wife id have to ask myself where was I while she was getting hooked on booze and xannies? and Why didn't I say something then?
I wouldn't sell my own kids out that way, so why would I do the same to their mom or better yet, the person I promised to love and cherish.
See, as I see it most of you who complain about this shit can't take any level of discomfort or pain. Pain is a good thing, learn to understand it, react properly to it and you can solve the problems that cause it. Smoke it away and try to forget about it, the cause NEVER goes away.
People don't just drift apart over night. What is your role in this?
IWanaGetHiSoHi
Active member
It's funny how you seem to think so poorly of older than you potheads yet they still help you out with Oaxacan Seeds and growing info ... I wonder if your real world friends would be as kind to you if they knew how you really felt about them. Hypocrite - You are Full of Yourself and you reek of Arrogance and Ignorance. You Now trying to claim otherwise is almost Too Funny. Don't try this kind of BullShit justification in person ... some Old Timer might just put you on your ass ... or worse. I'm calling a secret meeting in Boone (yeah like Daniel) ... the Blue Ridge Region does not recognize you as Our representative and this False Badge you wear needs to be discussed.
Funny how offended some people get when someone expresses an opinion opposite to their own.
To be fair, yes, this is my own experience with older friends still clinging to their hippie years (I'm in my 20's, we're talking 40's and up here) and that might not mesh with all of your worldviews, nor should it...
I've climbed the ladder a long way in a short time but I'm not so arrogant or ignorant as to think that pot has not always been a positive influence in my life.
just my opinion, as always, sorry if it's harsher than necessary from time to time...honesty's always the best policy right?
to be fair, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckupssorry to offend, but that's the truth
opposed to the pharmie addicted youth of today who are so hip they went metrosexual
Got a lil story
Got a lil story
My wife met me when I had stopped smoking for a job but was basically on a break till I felt comfy with my job. Well unforseen events took place at my job like falling off a forklift from 12 ft. in the air tearing my rotator cuff cartilage and ligaments. So after a long battle with workers comp and therapy I found out I had Advanced Osteo Arthritis and bone spurs all over my body (thanx Agent Orange for the Degenerative bone diseases!) The doctors were shocked to look at my MRI films to say the least. I heard, "are you sure these are his MRI images?" They say I have the body of a 60 year old, 6 years ago. Started smoking under reccomendation of my doctor for the my arthritis and muscle spasms. She was semi ok at first, cause she would smoke with me and enjoyed its alleviating effects, but when it went into full swing she started acting like I was smoking crack. It only got worse and started getting told that I was a freakin drugie and such. Meanwhile she is popping soma and vicodens. Now thats the pot calling the white piece of paper black, so to speak. It would phase in and out with her moods. Time passed and she told me I had to stop or else. Financially I could not afford to grow and such at the time so I stopped.............in her eyes for good in mine a break. The break lasted like 5 months then I could not take it anymore Living in Mammoth Lakes with all that cold. Killed my Arthritis and I had to start medicating........went through hell and back telling my wife how much my quality of like would improve and my moodiness when I was in agony and pain would go away since pain was the problem not her. After long discussions and her realizing finally that it is a medicine, she had no arguement. Education is everything IMHO when it comes to loved ones accepting MJ. Ya gotta realize what has been instilled in all of us since preschool, "drugs are bad....emmmmkay." Now she is a part of my collective and thru education we are whole once again. I can't stress enough, educate, educate, and educate.
Knowledge is power my friend. Good luck and don't think it will be an easy battle but if you love her enough and have seen that women you want in her at one time.......just know she is still in there, just confused.
Got a lil story
My wife met me when I had stopped smoking for a job but was basically on a break till I felt comfy with my job. Well unforseen events took place at my job like falling off a forklift from 12 ft. in the air tearing my rotator cuff cartilage and ligaments. So after a long battle with workers comp and therapy I found out I had Advanced Osteo Arthritis and bone spurs all over my body (thanx Agent Orange for the Degenerative bone diseases!) The doctors were shocked to look at my MRI films to say the least. I heard, "are you sure these are his MRI images?" They say I have the body of a 60 year old, 6 years ago. Started smoking under reccomendation of my doctor for the my arthritis and muscle spasms. She was semi ok at first, cause she would smoke with me and enjoyed its alleviating effects, but when it went into full swing she started acting like I was smoking crack. It only got worse and started getting told that I was a freakin drugie and such. Meanwhile she is popping soma and vicodens. Now thats the pot calling the white piece of paper black, so to speak. It would phase in and out with her moods. Time passed and she told me I had to stop or else. Financially I could not afford to grow and such at the time so I stopped.............in her eyes for good in mine a break. The break lasted like 5 months then I could not take it anymore Living in Mammoth Lakes with all that cold. Killed my Arthritis and I had to start medicating........went through hell and back telling my wife how much my quality of like would improve and my moodiness when I was in agony and pain would go away since pain was the problem not her. After long discussions and her realizing finally that it is a medicine, she had no arguement. Education is everything IMHO when it comes to loved ones accepting MJ. Ya gotta realize what has been instilled in all of us since preschool, "drugs are bad....emmmmkay." Now she is a part of my collective and thru education we are whole once again. I can't stress enough, educate, educate, and educate.
Knowledge is power my friend. Good luck and don't think it will be an easy battle but if you love her enough and have seen that women you want in her at one time.......just know she is still in there, just confused.
O
onehitjake
Fixed.to be rude, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckups
nonamejustbud
New member
to be fair, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckups
WRONG!!!
O
onehitjake
Furthermore, coming into the old stoners crash pad and taking a jab at everyone in it within a thread about a man and his wifes situation is poor behavior to say the least. It is an affront to the OP's concerns and all of us older smokers.
I've spoken my peace.
I've spoken my peace.
I quit smoking for several years recently and I must say they were some of the worst years of my life.
Smoking evens me out and makes me much better to be around.
Now, my loved ones might not care for all of the "activity" in the basement, they are
glad to have a kinder gentler Brickie.
I hope your wife will see the big picture someday...
Smoking evens me out and makes me much better to be around.
Now, my loved ones might not care for all of the "activity" in the basement, they are
glad to have a kinder gentler Brickie.
I hope your wife will see the big picture someday...
Funny how offended some people get when someone expresses an opinion opposite to their own.
To be fair, yes, this is my own experience with older friends still clinging to their hippie years (I'm in my 20's, we're talking 40's and up here) and that might not mesh with all of your worldviews, nor should it...
I've climbed the ladder a long way in a short time but
just my opinion, as always, sorry if it's harsher than necessary from time to time...honesty's always the best policy right?
That inst quite what you said in the first post but maybe you had a chance to rethink it after posting it. Maturity and wisdom comes with age you will get there one day 20 something.
By the way another single-family income individual who has been smoking rope for 22 years with a BS in engineering. I do believe you probably haven’t met that many people compared to us 40 -50s olds. Oh and hippies aren’t 30 or 40 more like 60 all the rest are wanna bees.
PEACE--- From a guy whose favorite Simpson’s scene is when Grandpa Simpson is considering assisted suicide and they ask him what he would like to watch for his last request and he says, "Cops beating up hippies." That’s what I want to see too.
Dreamz_Of_Green
Member
fuck some xanax that shit is poison if u ask me does nothing but pretty much get u drunk off a pill u forget shit u slur and your a zombie on that shit ...weed is not the end of the world get rid of her 15yrs or not xanax popper but doesnt want u to smoke how much of a hypocrite can u be seriously
Bitches are bitches are bitches...
Said the Zen Master...!
Said the Zen Master...!
HASH GORDON
Member
Tell your wife to grow the F up. She's got her poison, you've got yours. End of story. Next time she starts kvetching about the smoke....I'd take that pill bottle and launch it across the street into a sewer drain.
Life's too short to bitch about nonsense.
Life's too short to bitch about nonsense.
^^^
Women get so jealous about Mary Jane... not even funny!
Always date and marry Toking Gals!
Birds of the same feather...
Take knife hits together.
Been there and dropped them like is HOT!
Women get so jealous about Mary Jane... not even funny!
Always date and marry Toking Gals!
Birds of the same feather...
Take knife hits together.
Been there and dropped them like is HOT!
I don't think were meant to be monogamous, few years with the same woman is about all I can take, time for a new one.
You only have one life, if your needs are not being met, then perhaps you should do something about it, what, is up to you.
You only have one life, if your needs are not being met, then perhaps you should do something about it, what, is up to you.
HASH GORDON
Member
You're one generous motherf*cker with time. I think the party's over as soon as the loads get dropped.
to be fair, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckups
You are a discarded used tampon!
Sorry to offend, but that's the truth.
G
grasspass
My wife wishes I had nothing to do with it. Mainly because of the stigma and legality. She supports me by ignoring it because I told her it works for me. Show your wife a comparison of the side effects of her drugs compared to yours. You being healthy is good for her.
Originally Posted by jd4083
to be fair, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckups sorry to offend, but that's the truth
All I can say to this is that YOU are probably the fuck up and that you are projecting your own aggression/disappointment on us.
Get counselling, get a life.
to be fair, most people who are in their 30's, 40's, and older who still smoke pot regularly are burn-outs and fuckups
sorry to offend, but that's the truthAll I can say to this is that YOU are probably the fuck up and that you are projecting your own aggression/disappointment on us.
Get counselling, get a life.
As soon as I got to the bold part, it all made sense, he's still young enough to think he knows everything.Funny how offended some people get when someone expresses an opinion opposite to their own.
To be fair, yes, this is my own experience with older friends still clinging to their hippie years (I'm in my 20's, we're talking 40's and up here) and that might not mesh with all of your worldviews, nor should it...
I've climbed the ladder a long way in a short time but I'm not so arrogant or ignorant as to think that pot has not always been a positive influence in my life.
just my opinion, as always, sorry if it's harsher than necessary from time to time...honesty's always the best policy right?
