where can I post my poetry at? its good one.

[#1cheesebuds]

I wanted to post my poetry some where but couldn't find a place to do that. so here it goes.
this is just one of the many I have writen over the past 5 years.

this came straight from my wicked mind. hope yall like it. and if not then thats cool also.

I love to write strange and wicked poetry.
back in highschool it got me in trouble a lot.

The story from hell and back.

Ok so u wake up on the ground floor of the desert and U get up and start walking all around dazed and confused when suddenly u look around and see miles and miles of open earth holes like the ones in ur brain from going in sane. then u see a wall of fire comming ur way. so u run like hell. and u fall into 1 of thouse earth holes. and u find an underground tunnel so u run quickly to get away from the wall of water u thought u just saw. but ur not sure if it was a wall of fire or a sandstorm cummin ur way. so u keep running then blamm u suddenly r knocked the fuck out cold. and 20 minuts go by and u finily r awaken by the sound of a huge rat the size of a cat. so u get up and start running off down the tunnel. then u see an opening to a huge cave and u head over to it. then u realize that its full of bats. well off in the distance u kinda see an opening so u go there and squeeze ur body through it. and once u r out of the cave u say I need to rest for a bit. but then U r startled by the sounds of thousands of big bats flying right ur way. so u get up and run to hide behind a big rock. they fly off and away.
then u start to think where the hell am I and how did I endup in the fucking desirt of all places. now ur hungry as a fat dog. but u feel week and tired from funning ur ass off to get away from terror that lives in the desert. then u deside to keep on trucken but ur so dam hot u cant hardly move at all and ur sweeting so hard thet ur eyes r burning. so u wipe them wit ur tshirt. then u finly get the nurve to get up and go looken for food but 2 hours go bu and u'v found nothing at all. then u rember that some of the catus is edible but for got which ones thouse R. so u take a chance. u cut some open wit ur pocket knif and start eating. at first u feel super great to finily have some food like stuff in ur belly.
then around 30-1 hour later u start feeling really really weird. u start to see things like a lake of cristaly clear water. so u get up and start funning/walking over to find it. but when u get there its no where in sight. then about after an 1 1/2 hours u really start tripping hard so u deside to lay down on da ground to rest ur eyes and body fo a bit. so 2 hours go by then u awake and sit up agenst a rock rub ur eyes. u notest that u finily feel lots better so u deside to take out or pock knif and carve ur name and date into the rock just for the hell of it.
so u get up and start walking off to try and find ur way the hell out of this dam place but all u can see un frount of u is miles of wastland. then 6 of the most hotest hours of the day go by. then u think u see a plane on the ground off in the distance. but u r very very sceptical by this point. but u keep heading over to see if its really there and to ur suprise it is really there and there is a guy sitting over on a rock having a smoke. u run over there to see if he can give u a life the hell out of there. he takes one look at u and says u look like u been through hell an back.
U say I have seen every thing from fire to walls of water to bats and every thing inbetween. he says U didn't eat any of the wild catus round here did u? u like yes why do u ask? he says u could have died if u had eaten any of the bad ones. he says u got lucky.
lets go if u want out of here u say dam straight lets go and never come back to this hell hole.
so when u get home ur mother says where the hell have u been sun. u reply to hell and back in the desert. u like it all started when I got invited to a rave out west. there was gunna be free drinks and free food. so i got there and partyed my balls off. fell asleep when I woke up the next day every thing was gone and I was now in the desert.
she says well at least ur back alove and safe.

the end.



also if any of yall have any good poetry that u wrote Id love to here them.
Ill post more of my poetry if yall want. also there all different so... ya know.

 

[MrMcBean]

Boom boom BAP, WAS!, baboomboom BAP, THAT?... BOOM BOOM bap Bap bapbapbapbap...... even poetry?

 

[#1cheesebuds]

anyone else have any thoughts.

 

[TheGreenBastard]

FIX YOUR SHIT, have no idea what is going on, it sounds more like a story than a poem

FIX YOUR SHIT, have no idea what is going on, it sounds more like a story than a poem

Maybe you should,
Do a good deed,
Make it look good,
Easier to read,

Because that shit,
Is all over the place,
You should fix it,
You know, add some pace,

It just kind of goes,
You can't tell the highs from the lows,
Without the rows,
How long? Who knows?

You need to add some structure,
Put a comma or two,
It lacks that flowing luster,
That essential binding glue,

Put it into sections,
This will ensure interest protections,
People will be more willing to read,
If clarification has no need,

Listen to my heed,
Take the time to plant the seed,
And in future endeavors you will succeed,
For we are not all the patient breed,

Lacking the time to read you poem,
For you are the only one who knows'em,
It is just as important to have guiding lines,
As it is to find the proper rhythms.

 

[TheGreenBastard]

Boom boom BAP, WAS!, baboomboom BAP, THAT?... BOOM BOOM bap Bap bapbapbapbap...... even poetry?

I would write some more poetry
If it wasn't for all that damn peyote

 

[MrMcBean]

Maybe you should,
Do a good deed,
Make it look good,
Easier to read,

Because that shit,
Is all over the place,
You should fix it,
You know, add some pace,

It just kind of goes,
You can't tell the highs from the lows,
Without the rows,
How long? Who knows?

You need to add some structure,
Put a comma or two,
It lacks that flowing luster,
That essential binding glue,

Put it into sections,
This will ensure interest protections,
People will be more willing to read,
If clarification has no need,

Listen to my heed,
Take the time to plant the seed,
And in future endeavors you will succeed,
For we are not all the patient breed,

Lacking the time to read you poem,
For you are the only one who knows'em,
It is just as important to have guiding lines,
As it is to find the proper rhythms.

If you just made that up then thats the most insane thing ive seen on forums in a long time lmao

You basically said it all.. he needs to explain this.

 

[TheGreenBastard]

I've always been able to make shit like that up on the spot, it just comes to me.

Me and a friend once IM'ed each other for over an hour just rhyming off each other.

Can't rap for shit though, lol.

(I just can't wait to hear CheeseBud's response)

 

[#1cheesebuds]

Maybe you should,
Do a good deed,
Make it look good,
Easier to read,

Because that shit,
Is all over the place,
You should fix it,
You know, add some pace,

It just kind of goes,
You can't tell the highs from the lows,
Without the rows,
How long? Who knows?

You need to add some structure,
Put a comma or two,
It lacks that flowing luster,
That essential binding glue,

Put it into sections,
This will ensure interest protections,
People will be more willing to read,
If clarification has no need,

Listen to my heed,
Take the time to plant the seed,
And in future endeavors you will succeed,
For we are not all the patient breed,

Lacking the time to read you poem,
For you are the only one who knows'em,
It is just as important to have guiding lines,
As it is to find the proper rhythms.

that kicked ass. love it. good job.

 

[TheGreenBastard]

I was hoping you would, thanks man.

I was just bored as shit and wanted to check out this thread so posted first thing that popped in my mind......

Chapstick, Chapstick
there's a Ford Mavrick

Still got it....

 

[disfunktional]

THE WAR IS ENDING

THE WAR IS ENDING

4 eternity iv been a prisoner of war trapped in my own mind
life is the enemy iv fought, and shes been none to kind
the armor iv worn into battle is the anger that protects my pain
and the hate that iv carried are all the battle scars that remain
now im enjoying this new found freedom from all the controlling fear
life has underestimated me il not back down, no i will only perservere
as i slowly shed my armor i walk easier because slowly begin to believe
that when i let go of all my hate theres absolutely nothing i cant acheive

disfunktional

 

[#1cheesebuds]

wow D. that was great. I might write some more in the future.

 

[Owl Mirror]

anyone else have any thoughts.

You may enjoy this writers forum @ http://www.gather.com/

 

[hyposomniac]

This thread is an assault on the English language.

 

[happyherb]

i agree with Green Bastard.
it hurt my eyes as if filled with mustard

i stopped at line two
you now know what to do

put some spaces in some places
for all the frowning faces

that tried to read
but found indeed

the poem wasn't flowing
like a river that stopped going.
*************************
(i got bored sooooooo...)

there was a young man from kentucky
that meet an asian girl that liked to fucky

69's was no good
her mouth hurt from his wood

so he stuck it in her bum...
just cause he could!!!

 

[MarquisBlack]

LMFAO. Best thread ever.

 

[TheGreenBastard]

This thread is an assault on the English language.

Why don't you write a few stanzas? Please, grace us with your voluminous lexicon and impeccable grammar.

May I ask your profession? Let me guess, are you a linguist? No... a writer, Ph. D, maybe your just a pretentious ass?

 

[ROJO145]

There once was a man from Nantucket,whos dick was so long he could suck it.He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,if my ear was a **** I could fuck it.
I know lots of poems,gettin cold here in Nantucket so I write poems at nite

 

[Owl Mirror]

America ~ land of the Free, home of the Brave

Out of many, one nation was formed

The best of ideals, the best of intentions

Freedom for all, governed by the people, for the people

We gathered together on this distant shore, a cornucopia of races and creeds

All striving for a better world for our children and generations to come

A patchwork of ideas woven into one desire, yearning to be free from oppression

Our Nation has undergone birth pangs to be sure, civil war, social unrest

We shall soon celebrate our 232nd year of Independence as a nation

Difference of opinions abound yet, we have the freedom of expression

We must heal the partisan divide which has crept into governance

For a house divided, shall not stand

Black and White, Red, Yellow and Brown all yearning for common ground

Our founding document was flawed and incomplete, a work in progress

It made plain all men were created equal yet, slavery and occupation coexisted

Through all these trials, we as a people have overcome these discrepancies

Slowly, sometimes painfully we matured as a nation

America, land of the Free, home of the Brave, less a statement, more of a promise

Our work is still incomplete, contradictions are still replete

A wealthy nation yet so many poor are left behind, waiting for their turn to arrive

A product unfinished should not be exported to foreign markets

We have much to be proud of, great accomplishments have we achieved

We can ill afford to rest on our laurels', complacent and proud

It is the duty of each generation to vouchsafe our freedoms, lest we lose them

For if we take our freedoms for granted, as if guaranteed by inheritance

We shall fall victim to arrogance and misplaced pride

For far too long our nations youth have been neglected being taught civics

How many of this generation and the next have studied the Constitution, the Bill of Rights

How many of this generation and the next harbor civic pride and responsibility

We lay claim to being a nation United yet, we've become fractured and divided

Our common goal has become less national and more individual

I believe this is due to our Government becoming more Capitalistic than Democratic

Capitalism and a desire for soft living has fractured our society into the Haves and have-nots

While Capitalism is a good model for economic well-being, it is not beneficial for governance

When you gather together this Independence Day with family and friends

I ask each of you, to reflect on what it means to be an American.

Amidst the hotdogs and apple pie, place a copy of the Declaration of Independence The Constitution of these United States and the Bill of Rights.

Take a few moments with family and friends to reflect upon this legacy you've been handed

For if you celebrate our Independence absent understanding, what have you gained

If you neglect this civic responsibility and rely upon ours to shoulder the burden

You risk losing your voice on the direction your nation follows

In a Democracy, your silence gives others permission to chart your destiny for you

Are you willing to simply be a passenger on this great voyage or, a crewmember?

Celebrate America's great achievements but, do not be blinded to her transgressions

For to lose sight of past misdeeds and misguided foibles is akin to navigating a ship by the brightness of the Sun.

You risk being blinded by passions and ambitions, you risk running this mighty ship upon the rocks of adversity, just shy of the shores of the Promised Land.

 

[hyposomniac]

Why don't you write a few stanzas? Please, grace us with your voluminous lexicon and impeccable grammar.

May I ask your profession? Let me guess, are you a linguist? No... a writer, Ph. D, maybe your just a pretentious ass?

I'm just a monkey with a room full of typewriters.
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...

Pretentious ass? Fair enough, under the circumstances.

I think that scribbling down your feelings when you're sad with no regard for the most fundamental rules of the language, and then trying to elevate it to the level of art by calling it poetry is also a bit pretentious. It's also offensive to the reader, and anyone who knows the level of hard work and discipline involved in real writing.

Would you rather I was dishonest and said it was good? Or even remotely readable?

 

[disfunktional]

I'm just a monkey with a room full of typewriters.
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...

Pretentious ass? Fair enough, under the circumstances.

I think that scribbling down your feelings when you're sad with no regard for the most fundamental rules of the language, and then trying to elevate it to the level of art by calling it poetry is also a bit pretentious. It's also offensive to the reader, and anyone who knows the level of hard work and discipline involved in real writing.

Would you rather I was dishonest and said it was good? Or even remotely readable?

yo man art is in the eye of the beholder. what is art to some may not be art to another. so if you you dont think what you see is art then feel free to leave the thread we arent forceing you to stay and read. and who needs the negativity? i think that theres already enough in this world. peace