My Wife, I Hate Her.

[Highlighter]

My heart goes out to you man, such a living hell.

As has been mentioned, try to be civil w/ her around your boy. I've seen so much damage done to kids when the parents are hell-bent to do ea. other in.

My parents hated/relied on one another. When I was a teen, my mom told me they stayed together for my sake. I always thought that was a crock 'o shite!
Hearing them fight and being so vindictive to one another just plain sucked.
Always the cutting remarks.
I've seen way worse damage done to kids by vindictive parents than I ever went thru.
She seems like a nutcase needing the drama. Do not get drawn into it.
Don't raise your voice. Whisper thru clenched teeth if you have to.
I really hope you make a clean break.

I feel blessed to have a loving wife. Sure, we have our spats, but @ the end of the day we have ea. others' backs and truly love one another. 20+ yrs.

Best wishes for better days.

 

[s13sr20det]

If the relationship is how you actually describe it, you both are just waiting to see who will file for divorce first. It is a standoff and you both are trying to push the other to the edge. Get as much info(dirt) as you can and prepare for the inevitable end. You are not wrong or right in this situation so laying blame will only add layers that cant help. Your child should be the main goal here. The more you can show evidence of her behavior in writing or film the better your chances for a fair heaing. Understand this most important piece tho!*** If you go into any kind of court looking for equality you will not find it!!*** Our courts are designed to side with the mother in cases like yours unless you have complling evidence of her creating bad situations for the child. Not abuse but unfavorable living conditions, screaming, threats to the child, etc... This evidence will only help you and you better believe that witout t you wont have a chance and will be at the mercy of the courts. It sucks to think this way(especially about a woman you obviously loved at one point) but it will only help you and your child. Otherwise they are gonna believe whatever she tells them and you will have no proof otherwise. Sorry for the long post but I feel that pain more than most here could. Good luck to and your baby.

Don't say a single word to your wife EVER again. Put 110% of your being into getting YOU AND YOUR SON out of this situation. Put web cams in your house that save to a password protected storage site on the other side of the world. If the cops show up and don't believe she hit you show them the tape.
People who marry because of pregnancy almost never work out.

my if you have a joint bank acct take the money out and close it. I agree with masterkahn about recording her rants.
(not about not talking to her because that seems to make her go psychoooooo.)
nanny cams are pretty cheap nowadays. id look into getting one.
i knew a guy at my old work that had signed a prenup and could get out of the marriage if she cheated, so he was looking for someone to seduce his wife into cheating... might want to look into that, too
get your grow equip into storage asap. dont think for a sec that since she threatened to call the cops in the past and didnt do it, that she wont ever do it. take every threat seriously. this is your life she's messing with!

To be honest I didn't read your whole rant but, it's time to educate yourself about what average (I'm not saying ALL) western/american woman has become.

Look up another book called "The Manipulated Man"

the manipulated man
http://dontmarry.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/the_manipulated_man.pdf

dont forget

best of luck to you and your child
peace

 

[LolaGal]

i'm beginning to hate her too! And it's just from looking at the title of this thread!

 

[hempknowsis]

the manipulated man
http://dontmarry.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/the_manipulated_man.pdf

dont forget

best of luck to you and your child
peace

Another enlightend modern man!

http://dontmarry.wordpress.com is a great site.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Get one of those telephone recorders from Radio Shack. Easiest way in the world to catch her if she's scheming. Prepare yourself for whatever you're gonna hear because she'll think it's on the down low with somebody else.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

Man, again I just can't explain how touching it is to have so many people take the time to help.
I did not expect to get this much input this fast, makes it impossible to respond to everyone individually, but know that all of your words are really hitting home.
After being gone all day, she came home and has switched gears and is pleading w/ me to work it out. That's fine. I will let her think that we will do that, in the mean time, I will be getting all my ducks in a row, and planning to divorce once my house is in order. I will do my best to remain calm and civil w/ her, that is my weakness, I have a tremendous amount of anger inside of me and that is my biggest challenge at the moment. I hate myself for what my son has already seen and heard, although I can't control her, I need to control myself, and I have alot of room for improvement w/ regard to that. It seems kinda hopeless right now, but I know that it will just be a matter of time before I am able to move forward w/ what I am going to do. Until then she can think whatever she wants, and who knows, maybe she really will make an effort and maybe she realizes this is the end of the line. I am not counting on that, but it would be a literal miracle act of god if somehow this turned around.
I just want to say thank you again everyone, all your words, everything has really given me, inspired me, helped me realize that what I thought may be the worst thing ever, is probably the best thing that I could ever do for my son. That was the farthest thing from my mind when I posted the original post. This community is amazing, even though I don't know any of you outside this "internet" I feel like I am closer to many of you than most of the people in my real life. I love you all, love this place, feels like home, never ever had so many people care at all, all of the words, well wishes, everything is taken to heart and I will never ever forget this.
Thank you, everyone.
I wish that I could have this kind of open positive relationship w/ the mother of my child.

 

[Lone Wolf]

I told her straight up, you threaten me ever again in your life about calling the cops, then they are gonna find some oxy or x or something on your ass, then alot of my problems will be solved. I think that hit home, we'll see, she knows that 1. I will do it, and 2. I will do it.

So we will see.

I know those two drugs very well, and I know that those 2 drugs can REALLY change a human being. ESPECIALLY the OC...

I have a feeling that if you get the OC outta the house, then your problems MIGHT get better...

...just a thought

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

I know those two drugs very well, and I know that those 2 drugs can REALLY change a human being. ESPECIALLY the OC...

I have a feeling that if you get the OC outta the house, then your problems MIGHT get better...

...just a thought

Oh, no don't misunderstand. She nor I use any of that, never have, but I know that the cops here would flip shit on that stuff, even more so than cannabis. If she really was using that stuff, alot of my issues would not be issues and she would not be around at all. I just told her that to make her realize that if she wants to use dirty boxing then that is what I will do. Can't play fair w/ someone that wants to play dirty.
That would really be a last resort, only if she went through w/ getting me popp'd for growing. Like someone else said, that is fucking w/ my life if she does that shit, all bets and rules are off if she is going to endanger my freedom she will get no mercy. That's all I was getting at. Sorry for the confusion.
(I know, it's low, but so is ratting out your "husband", which is exactly what she has threatened to do so...)
Hopefully, it will never come to that.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

I know those two drugs very well, and I know that those 2 drugs can REALLY change a human being. ESPECIALLY the OC...

I have a feeling that if you get the OC outta the house, then your problems MIGHT get better...

...just a thought

If she did use either of those, at least that would be some kind of explanation, sadly, she is just a psycho, w/out it.

 

[Farmer John]

I can totally understand how you feel. Me and the wo-man are done now, last year or actually two years have been horrible..right after our younger one was born everything changed. Could be explained if she used something but she 's just psycho. Sending positive vibes bro, I know how it's like to live in hell, last winter/spring was the worst time of my life, my back was killing me, the terror at home was unbelieveable and now that I quit my job (the reason that she is so crazy is that I tried my best to make honest money and worked a lot while she stayed at home) things have gone even worse...I hope we get the house sold QUICK.

 

[xlatit]

Kush - Sorry to hear of your sorrows. I shook my head reading this: exactly what would have been if I had stayed with my ex. Hope everything turns out for the best and remember the meek shall inherit the earth.

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

Well, she couldn't even hold out a few hours, she wanted to "talk" and it turned into "you are going to grow in the same home w/ our son and get busted and we will both go to jail and lose our son, and on and on..."
Jeezus, I told her she was right, and that if I did grow in the same house w/ her that I probably would get busted, the second she called the cops. Now she is pulling the your grow is more important than your son shit, so whatever. I cannot wait until the divorce is done, she is no longer w/ me, and I can spend time w/ my son and not have to worry about her dumb ass being there to fuck it up.
God damn I hate her w/ a passion, at least I have a plan now though, thanks again, and I am sorry to hear that so many of you out there have been in similar situations, not that I thought that it was "unique" but that I know how much it sucks and would not wish it on anyone. I am happy to hear about those that have gotten away and went on w/ their lives, gives me something to look forward to. I will be free one day!

 

[mrred]

what do you guys make of this conversation i found on my girls account

blahblahblah..
him:what you doing now girl
her:just tryin to take care of myself while im still preggy & other stuffs for my unborn baby xD, i was a cna before i got pregnant, so yups..^_^
him:thats kool cna you going to doctor me lol
her:lol, doctor you? doctor quack maybe..=P but not eventually while im preggy..keke
himlaying doctor is how you get prego lol
herh...i had no idea, shuree! xP
him:want to play doctor lol

 

[JJScorpio]

Well, she couldn't even hold out a few hours, she wanted to "talk" and it turned into "you are going to grow in the same home w/ our son and get busted and we will both go to jail and lose our son, and on and on..."Jeezus, I told her she was right, and that if I did grow in the same house w/ her that I probably would get busted, the second she called the cops. Now she is pulling the your grow is more important than your son shit, so whatever. I cannot wait until the divorce is done, she is no longer w/ me, and I can spend time w/ my son and not have to worry about her dumb ass being there to fuck it up.
God damn I hate her w/ a passion, at least I have a plan now though, thanks again, and I am sorry to hear that so many of you out there have been in similar situations, not that I thought that it was "unique" but that I know how much it sucks and would not wish it on anyone. I am happy to hear about those that have gotten away and went on w/ their lives, gives me something to look forward to. I will be free one day!

I hate to be a bummer but she does have a point there. Not everyone can handle the pressure of having a grow inside the house. If something happened and you got caught your son would most likely be removed for a period of time......

I know plenty of my friends that are to afraid to grow inside and would have paranoid attacks if they did. She could be like that. As I said, not everyone has what it takes to keep composed with a grow going....

 

[PkRipper]

......I cant grow my medical garden becuase of my brothers ex, and they lived all away across town.

thats how bad this can get.

 

[cocktail frank]

welcome to the club buddy!
isnt marriage grand?

 

[Denial N Error]

I am never getting married.

 

[FrankRizzo]

I have to second JJ once again. I would be very apprehensive to grow one 6" plant while living with her (and your son for that matter.) Here is why. She could send you to jail, end of story. Not worth letting her even have the chance to do that.
Also lets say you get through the split and you are living on your own. Your son comes and stays with you part of the time. You two get in a huge fight and she decides to mess with you, she knows you like to grow weed and calls the cops. Once again you aren't safe. If you have nothing in the house then the cops are going to be much easier to deal with. If I where you, I would slowly start to give the impression you are bored/over your interest in growing. I'm not advocating that you lie, I would just get rid of things and drop the subject as best you can. One less thing she can hold against you. If you want to continue your hobby, I fell they would best be done out of your families lives. For at least a while.

 

[kmk420kali]

Oh, no don't misunderstand. She nor I use any of that, never have, but I know that the cops here would flip shit on that stuff, even more so than cannabis. If she really was using that stuff, alot of my issues would not be issues and she would not be around at all. I just told her that to make her realize that if she wants to use dirty boxing then that is what I will do. Can't play fair w/ someone that wants to play dirty.
That would really be a last resort, only if she went through w/ getting me popp'd for growing. Like someone else said, that is fucking w/ my life if she does that shit, all bets and rules are off if she is going to endanger my freedom she will get no mercy. That's all I was getting at. Sorry for the confusion.
(I know, it's low, but so is ratting out your "husband", which is exactly what she has threatened to do so...)
Hopefully, it will never come to that.

Bro, in my very honest opinion, you should pack up and leave now-- That would take all her power away, and remove the tension from around your son--
If you already know that it isn't going to work, there is no reason to procrastinate...everybody concerned will be better off, in the end--
File for divorce, don't allow yourself to argue with her, as it sounds like her arguments are only for effect...with no solutions possible-- So just don't participate--
You for sure have a mess to sort out...but it will be easier to do, if you don't have the added distraction of fighting daily--
My best wishes go to ya man...it is a hard thing to deal with, and the faster it is over, the sooner your son can settle into whatever his life is going to be, instead of this "Temporary Hell" he is forced into now--

 

[Buddle]

Good advice

Good advice

No matter what she does, don't call her anymore names. Your son will hear this and think it's what is supposed to be.

For the hell of it, try treating her with respect for a while. Especially in front of your son. Comment something positive to her when she does something that isn't hurtful and see how she responds. Niceness can be contagious, and these are things your son should see, regardless of the outcome. You should also politely ask her not to ask your son these questions as she's been doing.

Have you considered counseling? Even if it doesn't work, you both can learn how to be civil in front of your son if there is a divorce..... Hey......You never know....

Your son is soaking all this in as you know.One positive can be he learns to respect a fellow human being despite indifferences.GL to you