The Original O'l Farts Club.

[jokerman]

 

[CharlesU Farley]

I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful - - and could split open my STERNOTOMY - so I've just been eating soup and crackers dunked in the soup - and yogurt - and bananas mostly today -

- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks -

In the immortal words of Steve Winwood, you got to roll with it baby!

The fact that you're farting is a _good_ thing. Means all those smooth muscles that were paralyzed when you were under anesthesia are now back in _working_ order.

Just got to get all those muscles moving in coordination (peristalsis), so they can squeeze those turds out your...

_A_nal c_A_nal.

That's confusing as shit in print, just think of emphasizing the sound "A" in both of those words.

The technical term that us medical people use is just like Borat, the "ah noose"

I hope my sick fuck humor is translating correctly, while you're reading this in the hospital. I wonder.

 

[kaochiu]

Congrats Gypsy. Just two days ago you were about having heart surgery and one day later here you are, in good spirits and all. For less serious conditions our forefathers were plastered with slugs and witchcraft, tied in the stable for years and fed only goat blood, and as soon as they could stand up they had to go to fight invaders. Despite all our complaints, hospitals nowadays are fantastic places that fix us most of the times, give you drugs and lunch and a lot of the staff are foreigners.
Can't follow the thread regularly, got a 3 yo grandnephew visiting and cannot sit down for more than five minutes.
Rubio has been with me since his birth 12 years ago. The other four too. They don't know what a collar is.

 

[pop_rocks]

I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful - - and could split open my STERNOTOMY - so I've just been eating soup and crackers dunked in the soup - and yogurt - and bananas mostly today -

- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks -

who dosent like a nice hearty soup!
i hear the opioids can have that effect on the bowls, just be ready
/pull my finger

 

[OleReynard]

not much meat on a small squirrel.

I know I've eaten my share

 

[oldmaninbc]

I've found that because my oesophagus and trachea were so scratched during the operation - that if/when I eat solid food - even porridge - it tends to stick to the wound inside - so causes me to cough - which is very painful - - and could split open my STERNOTOMY - so I've just been eating soup and crackers dunked in the soup - and yogurt - and bananas mostly today -

- I'm VERY constipated - having not taken a dump since Sunday morning - and they have been giving me laxatives for 2 days now - only result so far - are a coupla very feeble farts - but they could be the precursor - for ridding myself of about - 3 kilos of very smelly rocks -

You definitely don't want to open your Sternotomy! Post surgical days can be difficult.

From my understanding your a man who enjoys a good meal, you have my empathy.
I was so constipated from narcotics at one time, I had to go into emergency and have my compacted bowel cleaned out by hand. Talk about smelly and I felt incredibly embarrassed.

The things we have to go through to make our lives better

 

[Gray Wolf]

I will be 74 this summer. Walt and Grey Wolf are pushing 80 so you fit right in Vondetour.

Walt and Gray Wolf are more like dragging 80 than pushing.

Walt can probably barely remember his 80th birthday.

 

[Gray Wolf]

Community service safety announcement, based on latest research:

 

[flower~power]

was about to post something cheerful but I just lost my appetite

 

[flower~power]

@Gray Wolf give us advance notice next time.

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

was about to post something cheerful but I just lost my appetite

@Gray Wolf give us advance notice next time.

If you can hold on, the ghastly picture will soon be on another page......................

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]

 

[Gray Wolf]