Hello IC'ers, My house just got robbed. The thieves took all my cash, coins (change), TV, PS3, 10.2mp camera, etc...
basicly all my valuables. which wasnt much.. But my cash was where it hurt me the most. it was just under 4k.. not too big
of a hit to miss you might think.. but it sunk me, and now I have no idea what to do.. and i am freaking out a little bit atm
so.. bear with me..
Im paranoid as fuck right now.. heres why. i need advice from a like group such as yourselves. I guess i'll start with the
crime., they came through a open window (cause it was a nice day) and jacked my electronics and cash/coin and camera
and whatever else i dont know is missing just as of yet. The kicker is.. i was on the property at the time... just up at the
primary house cooking breakfast/lunch for the family. I was first up this morning and after the familes wake up we all
come to one house to eat. While we where eating, my daughter went down to the house to change her close for the day,
and noticed the door was open to the house. So the criminals came in a matter of 45min of anyone being there. I live in a
rural area, and the house is a good 100' off the road. the time frame of this leads me to think that the criminals where
watching the house, and waited to strike.
Now, they have my camera; which i used just for taking pics of flowers (buds). I used my camera as a way to keep
track of my work. So there are many pic's on there that are now exposed to whom knows who!!! FUCK! Also, while
they where there they rumaged through some of my paper work concerning costs and designs for grow chambers, etc..
they had to have seen the magazines dedicated to growing hydro crops etc.. So i'm Sooo freakin out atm! fuck
For the sake of many extended posts, i'll give a little back ground to as why i cant just up and leave the locality. I
realize i might be forced to at some point.. just stuck atm. I started smoking cannabis for my severe motorcycle accident.
Before that i was a hard working non smoking/Drinking blue collar worker. I gave my all in everything i did, personal,
professional, marriage, country (not in any order). After my accident i took the pain killers they prescribed. I could not
be "upright" standing or sitting for over 2 or so hours before i would vomite it up.. it happen with two different pain killers
they gave me. i cant remember what they where. i'm almost sure one of them was valium (spelling?). Before this i had not
used any sort of pain killers.. not even when i broke bones in motocross and gymnastics. not saying i'm some sort of
tough guy, it hurt i cried.. but the pills always freaked me out.. thought as them as dope.. like speed. (70's child).
Now my
accident happen just about the same time the California 215 prop. came out. I was reluctant to use cannabis but i did.
and i did it legal as i knew how to. So i find myself out of a job due to my accident and my saved money was running out
fast.. i cant keep buying the cannabis i was getting for my injuries. so i started to grow my own. was my fist crop of
anykind. I grew it well i guess, becuase the person that got me cannabis before, asked if he could get some of mine.. I
realized i could smoke my meds for free and not have to pay, and those that wanted "better" cannabis to smoke could
find it. I didnt ever feel right selling it, and looking like a "drug dealer" especially when i lived with my mother at the time.
So i didnt deal.,, i grew for patients only. one of them patients is my father inlaw, and a close friend, HIV and cancer and
HepC. So, now i feel sort of responsible for peoples medicine, along with my own. I have taken on this "responsibility"
for a very long time, with no vacation. I have learned so so so much in life, while learning about cannabis. Hell even met
Jack Herer, Eddy Lepp, and others. I enjoy the cannabis "life" for a lack of better word. The people, food, expression,
etc is all great with the "stoner" crowd.
But...
I managed to keep myself a secret to the visable world of the whole medical cannabis industry. meaning.. anything that
came from my garden and went to there, did not come directly from me.. i always have a proxy. For the sole sake of
anonymity. I am a father, and have a family that i dont want my garden to effect in a negative way.. like DEA raids or
even worse Home fucking invasion!!!! FUCK... like i said earlier, i'm not here to break laws, i have only the number of
plants growing as the doc/law has allowed me.. i wish it was more, but its not. (thats why no pics here on icmag heh. I
am a stay home father/homemaker i guess is what you would call it..
I take care of the property for my Mother (who
ownes the entire lot) and make sure my kid dont dance with a pole. Being a parent, growing for sick people, keeping the
property upkept, cooking for 6, etc can become overwhelming at times.. but i've kept it all together so far.. until now.. this
break in' and my camera pics, and personal sketches of canna systems etc.. A COMPLETE REVIEL OF MY HIDDEN
LIFE. I fell liek Dexter from the Showtime show DEXTER, when Sgt. Dokes took dexters blood slides.. fucking freaking
out. Why? because i feel like the criminals might come back for a bigger "score".. but the shitty thing is.. i dont make
money at this.. it had taken me almost 10 fucking years to save 4k. and i owe on my credit card.!. I dont have any fresh
cannabis atm, i only have a few in the 2nd day of bloom cycle. and only about 1oz to last me until i can find a way to get
some more. Im affraid if the criminals come back looking for a big score of cannabis it might be at gunpoint, and i dont
want that anywhere near my family. which leads me to another fucked story..
My mother is a government employee and
has been doced pay, and over that last two years our household income has fallen 30% or better. Not to mention the
reduced 401k's. my mother is within 1 year of retirement and wouldnt mind moving out of california even, but she isnt
budging until she retires.
So now im stuck with a decision to make.. For one, i dont feel safe growing here in the same location. But i've been
alone and mentally stuck in a "cannabis" dominated way of life.. I liked it so much (people, the vibe) that i never thought
about leaving.. but now its been forced on me i feel. So now i have to look for a "public" job outside of cannabis.. you
know, the jobs you have to pee in a cup for. which i see as a submission move, and pisses me off. but whatever.!. I might
not have mentioned before, that the motorcycle wreck left me unable to perform my prior job duties (physical)
construction, auto-modification, blah blah blah..
So I will have to take some sort of job training.. but i have NO clue what
i want to do on this side of the fence (mental). Hell besides the bible and instruction booklets (auto/electronic) i didnt read
books prior to my wreck.. I had no clue how smart other people where at that time.. LOL.. now i feel so stupid in the
scope of things. I mean seriously i can not do math for shit.. fractions, and beyond are all jibberish.. i can add, subtract,
multiply, and divide.. my spelling is so-so.. (not using a spell check on this anywhy so you will see I'm a real fast learner
if it doesnt involve math.. hell, i even learned how computer parts work via the schematics.. i'm sort of a reverse
engineering kind of person. Hence my 8pc's around me atm (gamer) pew-pew..
I feel i can do alot of different type of
jobs, but not good at anyone thing. "jack of all trades, master of none". So here is where i get depressed.. I realize i'm not
of mental stature to earn enough money, to live where i live. meaning.. i wont be able to pay as much rent, hence lowering
my mothers income even more. after talking with here about this, it is realized we will lose the property and houses soon..
My aunt that lives with us just filed bancruptcy "today"! So. things are hitting the fan.. My child might have to move to
another state and live with her mother (which i want to avoid at all costs) if it pans out the way it is headed. I have lived
here the longest (25+years) and dont want to leave, but....? wtf can i do.. i feel so stuck, its not even funny. Bills are going
to be due, and i'm completely broke for months to come. /sigh.. I'm tired of typing, and need to hear what some of you
think i should do.. if you have ever been in a situation like this before.. please.. Tyvm in advance.
P.S. im not at all against seing a psychologist or therapist if that is the "best thing to do" is. and it is looking like it is.
'cause i have not stopped crying since the sheriff left (filed a report). And i feel like the world is engulfing me as i sit here.
Cannabudz..
basicly all my valuables. which wasnt much.. But my cash was where it hurt me the most. it was just under 4k.. not too big
of a hit to miss you might think.. but it sunk me, and now I have no idea what to do.. and i am freaking out a little bit atm
so.. bear with me..
Im paranoid as fuck right now.. heres why. i need advice from a like group such as yourselves. I guess i'll start with the
crime., they came through a open window (cause it was a nice day) and jacked my electronics and cash/coin and camera
and whatever else i dont know is missing just as of yet. The kicker is.. i was on the property at the time... just up at the
primary house cooking breakfast/lunch for the family. I was first up this morning and after the familes wake up we all
come to one house to eat. While we where eating, my daughter went down to the house to change her close for the day,
and noticed the door was open to the house. So the criminals came in a matter of 45min of anyone being there. I live in a
rural area, and the house is a good 100' off the road. the time frame of this leads me to think that the criminals where
watching the house, and waited to strike.
Now, they have my camera; which i used just for taking pics of flowers (buds). I used my camera as a way to keep
track of my work. So there are many pic's on there that are now exposed to whom knows who!!! FUCK! Also, while
they where there they rumaged through some of my paper work concerning costs and designs for grow chambers, etc..
they had to have seen the magazines dedicated to growing hydro crops etc.. So i'm Sooo freakin out atm! fuck
For the sake of many extended posts, i'll give a little back ground to as why i cant just up and leave the locality. I
realize i might be forced to at some point.. just stuck atm. I started smoking cannabis for my severe motorcycle accident.
Before that i was a hard working non smoking/Drinking blue collar worker. I gave my all in everything i did, personal,
professional, marriage, country (not in any order). After my accident i took the pain killers they prescribed. I could not
be "upright" standing or sitting for over 2 or so hours before i would vomite it up.. it happen with two different pain killers
they gave me. i cant remember what they where. i'm almost sure one of them was valium (spelling?). Before this i had not
used any sort of pain killers.. not even when i broke bones in motocross and gymnastics. not saying i'm some sort of
tough guy, it hurt i cried.. but the pills always freaked me out.. thought as them as dope.. like speed. (70's child).
Now my
accident happen just about the same time the California 215 prop. came out. I was reluctant to use cannabis but i did.
and i did it legal as i knew how to. So i find myself out of a job due to my accident and my saved money was running out
fast.. i cant keep buying the cannabis i was getting for my injuries. so i started to grow my own. was my fist crop of
anykind. I grew it well i guess, becuase the person that got me cannabis before, asked if he could get some of mine.. I
realized i could smoke my meds for free and not have to pay, and those that wanted "better" cannabis to smoke could
find it. I didnt ever feel right selling it, and looking like a "drug dealer" especially when i lived with my mother at the time.
So i didnt deal.,, i grew for patients only. one of them patients is my father inlaw, and a close friend, HIV and cancer and
HepC. So, now i feel sort of responsible for peoples medicine, along with my own. I have taken on this "responsibility"
for a very long time, with no vacation. I have learned so so so much in life, while learning about cannabis. Hell even met
Jack Herer, Eddy Lepp, and others. I enjoy the cannabis "life" for a lack of better word. The people, food, expression,
etc is all great with the "stoner" crowd.
But...
I managed to keep myself a secret to the visable world of the whole medical cannabis industry. meaning.. anything that
came from my garden and went to there, did not come directly from me.. i always have a proxy. For the sole sake of
anonymity. I am a father, and have a family that i dont want my garden to effect in a negative way.. like DEA raids or
even worse Home fucking invasion!!!! FUCK... like i said earlier, i'm not here to break laws, i have only the number of
plants growing as the doc/law has allowed me.. i wish it was more, but its not. (thats why no pics here on icmag heh. I
am a stay home father/homemaker i guess is what you would call it..
I take care of the property for my Mother (who
ownes the entire lot) and make sure my kid dont dance with a pole. Being a parent, growing for sick people, keeping the
property upkept, cooking for 6, etc can become overwhelming at times.. but i've kept it all together so far.. until now.. this
break in' and my camera pics, and personal sketches of canna systems etc.. A COMPLETE REVIEL OF MY HIDDEN
LIFE. I fell liek Dexter from the Showtime show DEXTER, when Sgt. Dokes took dexters blood slides.. fucking freaking
out. Why? because i feel like the criminals might come back for a bigger "score".. but the shitty thing is.. i dont make
money at this.. it had taken me almost 10 fucking years to save 4k. and i owe on my credit card.!. I dont have any fresh
cannabis atm, i only have a few in the 2nd day of bloom cycle. and only about 1oz to last me until i can find a way to get
some more. Im affraid if the criminals come back looking for a big score of cannabis it might be at gunpoint, and i dont
want that anywhere near my family. which leads me to another fucked story..
My mother is a government employee and
has been doced pay, and over that last two years our household income has fallen 30% or better. Not to mention the
reduced 401k's. my mother is within 1 year of retirement and wouldnt mind moving out of california even, but she isnt
budging until she retires.
So now im stuck with a decision to make.. For one, i dont feel safe growing here in the same location. But i've been
alone and mentally stuck in a "cannabis" dominated way of life.. I liked it so much (people, the vibe) that i never thought
about leaving.. but now its been forced on me i feel. So now i have to look for a "public" job outside of cannabis.. you
know, the jobs you have to pee in a cup for. which i see as a submission move, and pisses me off. but whatever.!. I might
not have mentioned before, that the motorcycle wreck left me unable to perform my prior job duties (physical)
construction, auto-modification, blah blah blah..
So I will have to take some sort of job training.. but i have NO clue what
i want to do on this side of the fence (mental). Hell besides the bible and instruction booklets (auto/electronic) i didnt read
books prior to my wreck.. I had no clue how smart other people where at that time.. LOL.. now i feel so stupid in the
scope of things. I mean seriously i can not do math for shit.. fractions, and beyond are all jibberish.. i can add, subtract,
multiply, and divide.. my spelling is so-so.. (not using a spell check on this anywhy so you will see I'm a real fast learner
if it doesnt involve math.. hell, i even learned how computer parts work via the schematics.. i'm sort of a reverse
engineering kind of person. Hence my 8pc's around me atm (gamer) pew-pew..
I feel i can do alot of different type of
jobs, but not good at anyone thing. "jack of all trades, master of none". So here is where i get depressed.. I realize i'm not
of mental stature to earn enough money, to live where i live. meaning.. i wont be able to pay as much rent, hence lowering
my mothers income even more. after talking with here about this, it is realized we will lose the property and houses soon..
My aunt that lives with us just filed bancruptcy "today"! So. things are hitting the fan.. My child might have to move to
another state and live with her mother (which i want to avoid at all costs) if it pans out the way it is headed. I have lived
here the longest (25+years) and dont want to leave, but....? wtf can i do.. i feel so stuck, its not even funny. Bills are going
to be due, and i'm completely broke for months to come. /sigh.. I'm tired of typing, and need to hear what some of you
think i should do.. if you have ever been in a situation like this before.. please.. Tyvm in advance.
P.S. im not at all against seing a psychologist or therapist if that is the "best thing to do" is. and it is looking like it is.
'cause i have not stopped crying since the sheriff left (filed a report). And i feel like the world is engulfing me as i sit here.
Cannabudz..
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