Welcome to the PTSD forum.

[Creeperpark]

As far as pharmaceuticals,

An operator I know introduced me to Mirtazapine.
On-label its a mood stabilizer for people with bi-polar
Off-Label, its amazing for PTSD.
It regulates norephedrine, so it regulates your adrenaline - it stops that reactionary adrenal dump that we all suffer from.
Another added benefit is it gives you the most vivid sex dreams.
Dont mix with flexoril, because that will cause serotonin syndrome
The cool thing is, you can use psychedelics on Mirt. Even cooler, you can take mirt, then a couple hours take LSD and have a full trip. But lets say you need a trip-killer, pop a mirt and it kills it pretty quick and lets you sleep real well.
Oh yeah, Mirt gives you thee best sleep, but makes it hard to wake up.

Now, I quit Mirt about 2 yrs ago, cold-turkey (fuck my insurance company and CVS) and I dont recommend that.
Now that I'm off Mirt, I seem to have less control over my stress-reactions. Oh well.

Thank you for sharing. You are a smart guy and have a well-educated mind. When you talk about tripping on acid, you remind me of myself when I was young. Any kind of drug, drink, smoke, or shot that goes in the body doesn't last. It's fucked up when my today or tomorrow's happiness is determined by an expensive foreign substance. Ain't worth the trouble. Just weed for me.

 

[Wuachuma]

The drugs are cool but they all have one BAD thing in common. They wear off and don't last, or they don't stay the same when you use them repeatedly. Everyone has to come face to face with old age, illness, and death sooner or later. If you look deeply that's what you are running from. The drugs won't change the truths, only distract you. Every try being completely sober off everything?
The amount of meds and drugs you have taken above tells me they're probably not working or you wouldn't need to take so many. .
Every try cognitive therapy?

No CBT
But I have been sober the past 3 months and it did bring a lot of clarity.

 

[Gogin_Diddle]

I'm glad I joined IC, as the forum I've been active on, on and off for years doesn't have anything like this. I've been going through hell since 2014, or so. I've went to therapy a few times, but never found anyone I connected with, or trusted enough. I'm not a veteran, and don't have 1, or 2 traumatic incidents that could be dealt with directly.
I've had a crazy week, and I'm exhausted. I just wanted to pop in here and introduce myself. When I'm feeling a little
Better I'll get into this a bit more.
Cannabis has saved my life. Not only because of PTSD symptoms but physical conditions as well.

 

[Creeperpark]

I'm glad I joined IC, as the forum I've been active on, on and off for years doesn't have anything like this. I've been going through hell since 2014, or so. I've went to therapy a few times, but never found anyone I connected with, or trusted enough. I'm not a veteran, and don't have 1, or 2 traumatic incidents that could be dealt with directly.
I've had a crazy week, and I'm exhausted. I just wanted to pop in here and introduce myself. When I'm feeling a little
Better I'll get into this a bit more.
Cannabis has saved my life. Not only because of PTSD symptoms but physical conditions as well.

Thank you for sharing friend, I appreciate your words.

 

[Wuachuma]

I'm glad I joined IC, as the forum I've been active on, on and off for years doesn't have anything like this. I've been going through hell since 2014, or so. I've went to therapy a few times, but never found anyone I connected with, or trusted enough. I'm not a veteran, and don't have 1, or 2 traumatic incidents that could be dealt with directly.
I've had a crazy week, and I'm exhausted. I just wanted to pop in here and introduce myself. When I'm feeling a little
Better I'll get into this a bit more.
Cannabis has saved my life. Not only because of PTSD symptoms but physical conditions as well.

Welcome, and I hope you soon find the energy to open up more. You're not alone, and you're closer to peace than you may think

 

[40degsouth]

Just got off the phone to a mate of mine and his battery ran out.

 

[D. B. Doober]

It was tough transitioning to civilian life after the coast guard. Didn't know what I wanted to do. Hung out for 8 years then went to college. After college I couldn't find a good job so I moved and the only job I did get at a pharmaceutical sucked and I only lasted a month. Pay was crap, 30k a year. Can't live on that. Moved back home and have my own apartment and would never think of working again.
I don't have a fight or flight response all the time now. And I love crowds. Loud noises don't bother me.
I miss my drill instructors

 

[Nannymouse]

Really, i never thought about having ptsd for most of my life, of course, there really wasn't much about it until the more recent years. There was 'shell shock', but certainly THAT didn't pertain to me. I won't go into details, because i've found that certain 'things' will trigger the symptoms, talking or hearing about certain things, and there are many different 'past events'. The METOO movement put me into a 'relapse'(?), but i've noticed other stuff over the years. Lack of sleep, is one. Another, oddly enough, as i've read others saying that it helps them, but seems to make me worse, is losing weight, especially if done fast. I am not sure, maybe losing weight causes an increase in cortisol, for me.

Yes, Cannabis has been very useful, USUALLY. There are strains that did not help, at all. Although, i think that female hormone bounces were very much contributing factors. So, now that the hormone bounces are aged out, ha, i have found that the sativas that used to make things worse, are now far more tolerable.

As far as nightmares, that is sort of interesting to me, since of all the traumatic stuff that has happened in my life, the one that still comes out in nightmares is the tornado dreams. Survived three very severe tornado events as a child, and that's the one that shows up in sleep.

I don't think of myself as agraphobic, but i prefer to be far away from crowds. I just feel that i do better. I like a quiet setting, and a set routine.

 

[przcvctm]

I'm glad I'm not alone, Nanny. There are some strains that actually depress the hell out of me and I watch the clock hoping for them to wear off. Others can make life worth living..while they last.

 

[VenerableHippie]

Just got off the phone to a mate of mine and his battery ran out.

Well, I know what country you're being sarcastic from, Aussie. Did you know sarcasm is displaced anger? So that means you're posting in the wrong thread. You should start an ANGRY thread.

I reckon life itself gives people ptsd. I wrote about this elsewhere here. (Search 'Mary Jane meets Molly Roll') My solution was to take a large dose of mdma. I 'm now over my ptsd and Everything looks hopeful. If life stops looking hopeful I 'll take some more mdma.

I wonder what new illness or condition Psychologists will come up with next? Whatever it is I 'll probably have it.

 

[40degsouth]

Hi everyone,
just wanted to check back in and explain my comment a bit further and without going into to much detail, give a bit of context.
I found this thread a couple of days ago and l really enjoyed the feeling and comments and it’s something l fell is very important. I really struggle to talk about my experiences and the older I get the more disacociated I’m becoming with friends and family and l just find it much easier to be on my own and l now spend 99% of my time with my dog.
I went to the doctor last week in order to take the first step back to recovery, after l recognised just how bad things have gotten. I refuse to take medication after I’ve seen how it effects other ex military and first responder friends but maybe I do need it.
I’ve got a lot of mates going through very similar things and really, when l compare myself to them, I’m doing really well and nothing makes me realise this more than a late night call with a suicidal vet when the phone cuts out on their end.
I was very upset last night and still am. I really don’t know why l even posted my comment up other than to reach out to anyone who might understand.
Anyway I’m ok and so is my mate, today.
I’ll leave you with this screenshot l took yesterday and today it seems extremely poignant.
40.

 

[VenerableHippie]

Hi everyone,
just wanted to check back in and explain my comment a bit further and without going into to much detail, give a bit of context.
I found this thread a couple of days ago and l really enjoyed the feeling and comments and it’s something l fell is very important. I really struggle to talk about my experiences and the older I get the more disacociated I’m becoming with friends and family and l just find it much easier to be on my own and l now spend 99% of my time with my dog.
I went to the doctor last week in order to take the first step back to recovery, after l recognised just how bad things have gotten. I refuse to take medication after I’ve seen how it effects other ex military and first responder friends but maybe I do need it.
I’ve got a lot of mates going through very similar things and really, when l compare myself to them, I’m doing really well and nothing makes me realise this more than a late night call with a suicidal vet when the phone cuts out on their end.
I was very upset last night and still am. I really don’t know why l even posted my comment up other than to reach out to anyone who might understand.
Anyway I’m ok and so is my mate, today.
I’ll leave you with this screenshot l took yesterday and today it seems extremely poignant.
40. View attachment 18720393

Good stuff, Man! I apologise. What you wrote looked bad from my viewpoint. Thanks for being so up front!!!

 

[40degsouth]

Hey everyone, l hope you’re all well..
VenerableHippie, thank you for your kind words.
We’ve all got a can to kick down the road.
Cheers,
40.

 

[Switcher56]

im glad you brought up the 'p' word weird. does anyone have personal experience treating ptsd with psychedelics? i am strongly considering a heroic dose of psilocybin but im terrified to do so without a caretaker.

I'm re-reading this thread... agreed! I have been doing some research on the subject (off and on). One needs a clinical setting with trained staff should something go wrong. They know how to bring you down safely. Mind you you are still on a ride for a couple of hours.

I've been craving psychedelics for a long time too, but it's the same old story: I don't have a trip sitter.

I'm a piece of work, so I don't have any friends either. It's impossible to just stop eating, drinking, and sleeping and just let nature take its course if you don't have any friends.

Then it just gets into this dumb vicious circle. It isn't natural for me to be alive. Growing my own meds gives me a reason to live; these cute, inncent, little babies need me to take care of them and protect them from insects, landlords, and the economy.

My doctor wants me to grow a fuckload of GSC for the insomnia first. I can seriously go for two weeks without being able to sleep, with predictable results, and I'll never get a job until I can get that under control.

Strains are individual to each person. I tell my doc, I fall in that category <1%. I have used GSC during the day and can attest it would not induce sleep in me, but GDP does and also aids in sleep apnia. Want a good nock you out strain, give King Louis the Xll (affectionally known to many as simply King Louis) a whirl. A 0.22-26g cap (mari pills (decarb 1st)) will get you there. You don't feel it coming on and all of a sudden, a little man walks out of your right ear and, wacks you on the forehead with a sledge hammer. The good thing, ya don't feel a thing. Just make sure your in bed or you will sleep for 4-6hrs where you were.

 

[Switcher56]

Hi everyone,
just wanted to check back in and explain my comment a bit further and without going into to much detail, give a bit of context.
I found this thread a couple of days ago and l really enjoyed the feeling and comments and it’s something l fell is very important. I really struggle to talk about my experiences and the older I get the more disacociated I’m becoming with friends and family and l just find it much easier to be on my own and l now spend 99% of my time with my dog.
I went to the doctor last week in order to take the first step back to recovery, after l recognised just how bad things have gotten. I refuse to take medication after I’ve seen how it effects other ex military and first responder friends but maybe I do need it.
I’ve got a lot of mates going through very similar things and really, when l compare myself to them, I’m doing really well and nothing makes me realise this more than a late night call with a suicidal vet when the phone cuts out on their end.
I was very upset last night and still am. I really don’t know why l even posted my comment up other than to reach out to anyone who might understand.
Anyway I’m ok and so is my mate, today.
I’ll leave you with this screenshot l took yesterday and today it seems extremely poignant.
40. View attachment 18720393

 

[Switcher56]

I have re-read the thread...

Well since the fire, my moods have been all over the map. https://www.icmag.com/threads/sad-news-switchers-house-was-gutted-by-fire.18040234/

Those that know me know I'm a med user. Cannabis has treated me well, for a series of ailments. I wish I could wind back the clock but alas, that cant happen. PTSD has definitely set in for both my wife and I. To what severity I don't know, she sort of keeps it from me, as she is now looking after me. We have discussed it will be interesting to see where we are at when we return to our home. One thing for certain, all the stress and anxiety have affected my dementia exponentially, which carry mood swings that get further compounded by the moon cycles. To further exacerbate my issues, we are loosing the family doctor on July 1 and my lawyer is retiring at the end of the year. So 2022 has not been a good year.

We talked to DVA and because of Covid, the only help that was available is either on line or by phone. I can't carry out proper conversations on the phone I need (both me & the person I a talking to, visual clues) to carry out a proper conversation etc... On line... simply too cold (no human interactions) I am a Cancer... we need a daily supply of it. Covid has had a major impact on the peoples psyche. We see it daily and folks a rejoicing we are getting back to normal BUT more importantly, rejecting the shit show that transpired in those 2 yrs. <--- all that shit was by design.

I was able to save my stash and medicine cabinet. The fire has set my my grows back 2 yrs. That being said, I always had on hand for dealing with my ups and downs and discovered the value of certain strains I had overlooked in the past. I am an Indica leaning type of dude (remember that <1%) I have tailored my "medicine" to my moods and needs. Doober knows what I am talking about.

Since my realization I have been spreading cheer. I am a gregarious individual, didn't know what the word meant 35yrs ago when I saw it in my evaluation. I looked it up, it fits me to a T. The other reason I prefer meeting folks in real life, is that 95% of communication is communicated via body language, which I have been pretty darn good at reading people. The most fascinating realization is that during those 2 yrs, human interaction was basically non-existent and folks became indifferent towards each other. Every now and again I listen to Jackie, shit listen to it with lyrics. That was written in '68 (I believe). So I simply state that I refuse to assimilate myself into today's society, for various reasons. One in particular is all the new words that are being fed to us, as you do not present arguments in a discussion it's POV. Presenting an argument is too close to the verb to argue. Not only are we trying to erase history we are creating God only knows what? I have no pronouns. When I check below, I have a Johnson and woman make it tingle. I always get a laugh out of woman with that one LOL, or calling a woman dear or love. Mature woman don't care and are not offended by the word. I had an exchange with 2 mature woman at Costco the other day 60s or so. One was black the other Caucasian, I didn't care, we nearly pissed our pants, laughing so hard. Which lead me to my next Segway...

Last Thu I had to get out of here. So I grabbed a Bubba Kush refer and walked down to the local watering hole at the end of the street. Why Bk, because I knew it would put me in the right frame of mind...

So I sat at the bar, ordered a Stella and enjoyed the change of venue. Some time later (dunno) a girl walks in and takes a seat at the end of the bar. She obviously knows the bartender (female) and proceeds to discuss her latest excursion on social media (SM). Nothing much happened there, but it was interesting. The girl and later to join them her 2 companions were all in their mid 20s. So guy walks into a bar LOL... and greets the girl they know each other and he takes a position at the end of the bar, a bar stool separated the 2. They were both googling/texting whatever on their phones and, the only conversion between the 2, was about what was happening on their feed, they would share their screens, then return into their respective corners. This went on for about 30 min or so, when anothrer individual (know to the other 2) sits on the empty stool between the 1st 2. Outside of exchanging short salutations, he orders a drink and assumes the same position as the other 2. About 1/2hr in to that, all 3 get up and leave together, and come back 10 min later. Well we all know what they were doing since we are legal here and continued what they were doing.

A line from hotel California...
Mirrors on the ceiling
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, 'We are all just prisoners here"
"Of our own device"

So I sat there fascinated with the scene, especially since Bk put me in that "funky" space. I was in awe. They are definitely gen X and they are touted as the generation that is the most malleable. No shit Sherlock, what I did observe during this 1.5hr movie wa like watching 3 robots, totally devoid of human interaction with the exception of sharing their SM pages and returning to their mutual corners. The "force" was great in these 3. Cutting the story/evening short, indoctrination in our schools has been going on a lot longer than the avg citizen knows, the rest, watch the news.

In closing, I have also read up on 'shrooms what ever. The re-read of the thread has reminded my defective brain wrt the book "The new door" which I had but, never started, was also lost in the fire. I have to order a new one.

Short strokes folks, without human interaction, we as humans are totally lost (we weren't designed that way). Teenage suicides etc... all up, and a lot of it formatted on SM. Throw PTSD in the mix and you have an explosive atmosphere on your hands. When I am down, like a woman (sorry to the ladies, it definitely doesn't apply to all) I spend money. But more importantly, I seek the human interaction vice the mere act of spending money. It is to be said, I am spending money rebuilding our lives. Most people we are dealing with are empathetic, and there are those totally void of the sensation/feeling one feels towards other human beings. I quickly dismiss those suckers and they don't get my money. A la George W... You are either with me or are again me!

I know how to find my happy place. I was at Ikea last Sunday wher5e I picked up such a sign. It will be place above the door leading to the rec rm and den where I grow. Simply stated "My Happy Place. I know I simply had to have that. My bride found it

 

[Gogin_Diddle]

I'd like to start sharing, however I feel a bit out of place, as I didn't get PTSD from combat. Well not military combat. My story spans a lifetime, and I'm still hesitant to share, as much of my trauma has a different kind of sensitivity to it.

I have a couple of questions for others suffering. Has it become real hard to get along with others? I feel like I have no idea who I am now, and don't know what happened to my social skills in about 20 years (yeah, I'm old)

I rarely find cultivars that don't throw me into a panic attack. Luckily this past harvest had 1 excellent phenotypes that chills me out. That's pretty rare.

Do any of you now feel socially awkward? For some reason I can talk to women in person.

Well, I'll keep reading, as I'd feel awkward if zi were the only person not to have served

 

[Creeperpark]

I'd like to start sharing, however I feel a bit out of place, as I didn't get PTSD from combat. Well not military combat. My story spans a lifetime, and I'm still hesitant to share, as much of my trauma has a different kind of sensitivity to it.

I have a couple of questions for others suffering. Has it become real hard to get along with others? I feel like I have no idea who I am now, and don't know what happened to my social skills in about 20 years (yeah, I'm old)

I rarely find cultivars that don't throw me into a panic attack. Luckily this past harvest had 1 excellent phenotypes that chills me out. That's pretty rare.

Do any of you now feel socially awkward? For some reason I can talk to women in person.

Well, I'll keep reading, as I'd feel awkward if zi were the only person not to have served

You share all you want friend because it doesn't have to be combat PTSD. "PTSD is PTSD!!!!" Forgive me for intruding, but I have found that there are two types of people in the world. Introverts and extroverts. Some people like crowds and some don't. Extroverts expect introverts to "snap out of it" and come to the party, but introverts don't want to go, and sometimes feel guilty for not going. It's ok to be an introvert and enjoy living your life alone that way. Be a happy introvert, there's nothing wrong with it friend. Your sharing on this post is a good healthy sign.

However, if you are feeling extremely lonely or isolated, it's time to get off your ass and get moving and do something you like with a friend.

 

[Gogin_Diddle]

You share all you want friend because it doesn't have to be combat PTSD. "PTSD is PTSD!!!!" Forgive me for intruding, but I have found that there are two types of people in the world. Introverts and extroverts. Some people like crowds and some don't. Extroverts expect introverts to "snap out of it" and come to the party, but introverts don't want to go, and sometimes feel guilty for not going. It's ok to be an introvert and enjoy living your life alone that way. Be a happy introvert, there's nothing wrong with it friend. Your sharing on this post is a good healthy sign.

However, if you are feeling extremely lonely or isolated, it's time to get off your ass and get moving and do something you like with a friend.

I was always an extrovert until this got me. I'd say it started getting real bad about 7 -8 years ago. PTSD completely changed me.

 

[40degsouth]

F