Even better would be if you could get someone professional, like an psychiatrist or someone who have an understanding of where to "direct" your mind, and to give support if needed. Just saying cause Im going down that path myself. Using these psych-tools makes it very likely that anybody with traumaus can relive them. Take big caution. I know from a personally perspective. To do that without someone that can help you on the way can be very tough. But using them can also help to put the puzzle together.
If you have the oppurtunity to grow your own herb and find joy in that, continue I would say and for many reasons.
When I first took the big step to really deal with the traumas I had. I had one week prior moved to place where I literally had nothing else than a one room appartment, rent money, grow gear and some pot from the outdoor season. When I wrote that it didnt seem so little either, aye?
But no job, no family and no friends.
After all I spent some good time in that apartment, just growing, learing so I can get self suffcient with my own medicine to get grounded. Traumas can make a person pretty facking wired.
I bet you can too get some quality time doing that? Its so easy to get some or another trigger factor to make the days hard. Damn, I have even been trigger during writing this post. LOL, like for real...
When you first got that jar full, and a little more empty again... And maybe some sleep too. It will help. Sleep is the number one medicine, and cannabis right next helping in that direction. Touching soil is also recommended, firmly roll it in your hand. If its somebody out there were that doesnt help, let me know!
Good luck, and fucking enjoi playing dolls with the plants. I will suggest making seeds, also for many reasons, but in this part... The SEX scene, oh lord! Just wait after you have seen all that pollen and probably sniffed some too, and watch them damn fine ladies turn there bellies out, GRRRrrrr...
Ops, I got cared away... But I had the time and a horny green mind, later
