Active member
Here's another:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice icream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."


Active member
Akorting boint säven

Akorting boint säven

CaptainJack said:
How many board junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

Tär ar nod onli nätif inglisch spekink boeple on sis tret...



tough shit.
dont look at threads you can't comprehend

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


cooked cook

bake at 420 until nicely toasted
let's not forget the 3 conspiracy theorists that will claim that light bulbs are just another one of the many ways that big brother is conditioning us with mind controlling light spectrums, and the associated 5 guys that will call them foil hatted freaks.

Also there will be at least 2 scurvy mofos sniffin around in the hopes that they can get someone to send them some FREE lightbulbs.

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Bio-Bucket Specialist *********
…………Yep you are right CJ, I did get a big laugh out of that……thanks….:yes:


And, let's not forget about those 5 asslicker, who'll tell ya how great u are, and what a great job you did by changing that bulb. (after that they pm you asking for free seeds)


My little pony.. my little pony
I didnt mind that as much as when I asked them what strains of seeds they were looking for and they replied, testicles. :yoinks:


Heres one.

A woman comes home in the morning and tells her husband she spent the night at a friends. The husband calls his wifes 10 closest friends, none of them no anything about it.

A man comes home in the morning and tells his wife he spent the night at a friends. The wife calls her husbands 10 closest friends, 8 of them confirm that he spent the night and the other 2 claimed he was still there...


Active member
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

Thats what I am lol, but I had to say that is the funniest thing I have read on the here at icmag. Funny perspective true, yet unoticed by me.

I am a satelite scientist though and I do have to say that the proper term is Lamp.

Just Kidding


IC Official Assistant to the Insistent
2,596 refugees from Overlit Glow & Corona World asking why they can't sell their bulbs in an open forum...

good stuff CJ :biglaugh: