How many board junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


The Tri Guy
ICMag Supporter
This is a duplicate thread.............

Only joking CJ, the funniest thread for a while.


full time daddy
ok so u forgot a few..........

1 who tell there store about un screwing and the "glass" braking off & then try's to stick needle nose to get it out.

4 who quickly reply say "dude your gonna shock your self" cut a patato in half n stick it up there gently unscrew

8 whlo then reply stating it's potato not patato

1 more who tell's there stuped story about how they turned the light off then proceded to change right away befor leting it cool down & how bad they burned there fingers doing so

17 then calling each one of them morons

4 who agree that its not stuped that they burnd there fingers to it was a "lesson"

12 more lurker join just to post 1 time stating it's common sence not a lesson

1 ( me ) who tell's a story about his kid shooting the back porch light with a squrt gun thus "popping" it and how it was a bich to chang in the dank... i mean dark

16 that reply what a bad parent he is

1 theatning to call cps over a "light bulb"

47 more ranting n raving about the mess n how re-dic-u-less this is

1 who say he use's old light bulbs to smoke crack out of

1 admin to close the thread be cuz it was a 6 month old thread & now ppl are talking about crack

1 who opens a new thread with same thread title

when will the seed war's stop......................? :badday:
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Active member
Looks like about half as many as it takes to pick out the bulb :smile:

Can I get a fish and chicken dinner, fries, slaw oops, wrong capt :bat:


Read a good one about a rectum stretcher, wanna hear it?


So just What exactly is the question here? Ya'll need help changing a light bulb?


Active member
If you've read it before, well you know the ending for those that haven't, I hope it makes you :smile:

Rectum Stretcher

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

To which she politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face. :yoinks: PRICELESS.

see ya :bat:
And yes, this one comes in mnay variations
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Bodhisattva of the Earth
That was three funny things for the price of one! Where else can a fellow get a deal like this? Thanks Captain for the real truth, that was 'too funny'..........it's the friggin truth about almost every thread these days. Everyone needs to smarten up about their posts?.......... I don't know it's what makes the world go around.

Thanks for the out loud laughs..........really, it's good medicine! love you guys!
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Active member
Thanks for cranking up a funny Capt. So dang tired of stressing, what will be will be!

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