From memory lane...(we're always thinking about you always)
It was cold, rainy and foggy ALL fucking day, the drive took 2 hours extra because of traffic, THEN we took a wrong turn on the highway and the closest exit was 25 miles one way. and to top it all off we got one hell of a fender bender at Friendly's .... atleast 500$ damage. but for some reason, showing up late and rain soaked made it that much better.
This marks my 14th meeting and out of all of them ive never felt so much warmth in all my life. everyone there automatically knew who i was and that i was recieving gohonzon today. we started it off with a 45minute gonyo, and imediately went onto my gohonzon recieval, which they really sprung on me. i had no idea what to do when they told me to give my experiance in front of 50 strangers. how do you tell 4 dozen people that youve never known before that you learned about buddhism on a pothead website?!? so i started off telling them all about my teen life, being in and out of clinics, hospitals and juvinial detention for drug abuse, and how i discovered this wonderful website (you shoulda seen the faces) i told them about PTD and SoCal (no naming of course) and how you guys got ahold of my discrict leader, socal.... all my love and respect to you man, along with ptd, babba, easy, hitman, and everyone else out there who ever helped me or gave me any encouragment. Then i proceeded telling how chanting really did change my life in a COMPLETE 180. they say the higher the mountain the better the view, WELL ITS TRUE!!!!! i wouldnt trade this feeling for all the dope in the world, i ended with that and was greeted by everyone in the room standing up and clapping for about a solid minute. what a long damned minute that was.
That was followed by other peoples experiences, shakubuku's, regular meeting stuff. and then the leader stood up, looked right at me and said.. "time to lead gongyo always"
fuck!! i was stumbling on chairs making my way up to the front, i could barely even get past the second page, but for some reason i looked at the gohonzon and read it slowly and steadily and didint do bad at all. i think i mispronounced like 5 words total. even know i cant beleive i did that.
and now for my first possible shakubuku.....
this morning, my ex girlfriend who i havnt spoken to in over 3 months messaged me on myspace saying how she needed to talk to me relaly bad, (this was before i went to get gohonzon) i messaged back "im doing fine, i know of 3 methadone clinics in this area, ill get you the numbers if you want"
you have to understand this girl broke my heart, in a really evil way.. but i did feel bad for saying that to her afterwards. it was bugging me all day. after i got back from the meeting, there was another message from her saying bassicaly the same thing..... but this time she included the word buddhism. wierd shit eh? i guess im gona meet her tomorow and try to clean her up. if anyone has any advise.. please im very in need, shes stubborn as hell, and has an extremely addictive personality.
anyway thats it.
if buddhism works for me... the biggest synical, pesimistic atheist on earth it WILL work for you. just give it a try.
HERES TO KOSEN RUFU!
nammyohorengekyo
-always