[GrassRoots]

Hello ladies of IC! I have an issue in my relationship and I'm curious on what other women think of it.
Do you think it is reasonable to get upset when your significant other when you are being denied sexual release on a regular basis? I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not but I am in my mid 20's and have a pretty strong sex drive. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and I still get very frustrated when I'm horny but she is not and that means we can't do anything about my desires. I think it is not fair that whenever she is horny I will do whatever she wants in order to satisfy her but if I'm horny she is frequently tired or in a hurry or just not in the mood. I guess I feel like it can just be a quick thing (if she is not in the mood) and it's a small part of her day to give up to make me feel so good, why would she want to deny me that pleasure and instead leave me feeling rejected and upset? I feel that she is the only one I can turn to (I don't cheat) in this situation and to reject me hurts. I know I can take care of these things myself as well which is what I frequently end up doing.

Am I way out of line here, getting upset? I appreciate your input.

GrassRoots

[Brownpants]

I am not a woman, but this is what they are going to say:

Instead of focusing on pleasing yourself maybe you should try and figure out what she wants!

If you want lots and lots of Sex, You are on the right track by not cheating, now You need to listen to her, really listen, read between the lines, figure out what her innermost fantasies are, make sex exciting again. Maybe she wants to be on top? But your not letting her, or maybe she wants you to bend her over your knee and give her a spanking? Ask her what she wants? Communicate, be open and honest. If you can take the time and effort to create a strong relationship with her, where she feels safe, to be herself, she will be the hottest, kinkiest sex craved nympho you have ever known. Or she might run off to the isle of Lesbos?

Sorry ladies for jumping into your forum. But you do look fantastic in those shoes.

[krippysmoker]

Ok hon Im gonna lay this out for you fairly simply. Sex drives are different for everyone...but more so usually for men. Woman let emotions rule the way. And unless you find a woman who like you just wants to get down....your going to have to follow the emotion rule.
Take her to dinner...be romantic...give her flowers for NO reason. Be strait and ask her if your not pleasing her in bed.
SIngle most mistake that anyone can make in bed is assuming that you ROCK your partners world. Everyone is different....perhaps you mount her like a horse and she may hate that...or you do doggie style which makes her cringe. Perhaps she is ultra vanilla ......and just boring in bed....or maybe your vanilla and she has a dark side.
If you dont have a good trust she will not answer any of your questions with a true answer.
Or she could be a lesbian....lol If she is send her over this way and I will give her back with a full report JK

[GrassRoots]

Thanks for the tips and advice brownpants and krippysmoker, I figured I was being somewhat unreasonable that's why I asked and in the past my girlfriends have really liked to get down like I do and she really doesn't have the drive like they did. I still think I rock her world but my opinion is biased, I'm confident that she isn't a lesbian though .

GrassRoots

[1G12]

Ask your GF if she'd be willing to give ya a hand job when she's not in da mood & keep a bottle of skin lotion on the night stand. If that's too much of a bother for her, then ya need a new GF.

[GrassRoots]

That is too much of a bother for her. She says she doesn't like giving hand jobs

Is this just life ladies? Should I just get over it? Do you frequently deny your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend sexual gratification and they're just cool with it? I see the flip side of this argument could be something like, "hey, I'm not your sexual slave!" But really? Because I feel I'm hers. Whatever she wants, I'm game. I would not want someone else to be frustrated or upset because they're horny, all they want to do orgasm at the hands of their lover and the other party just isn't interested in helping them get there.

Feels weird writing to strangers about this but it feels good to get it off my chest and hear what other people have to say. Keep the comments coming, many of you have a lot more life experience than I and I'm eager to learn from you.

GrassRoots

[phattybudz]

if all else fails, just start beating off after its clear she's not in the mood. Maybe she freaks out, maybe she doesnt. If she doesnt, problem semi-solved (unless that starts a new argument about porn!) if she does, that's a good opportunity to talk about it.

That's semi-joking but I actually did that and it worked once.

[Dr. G]

Originally Posted by 1G12

Ask your GF if she'd be willing to give ya a hand job when she's not in da mood & keep a bottle of skin lotion on the night stand. If that's too much of a bother for her, then ya need a new GF.

i have the same problem as you man but this is what my girl does

95% of the time shes not in the mood (usually too tired) shell jerk me off but i usually take too long so she kinda despises it

we kinda let her not doing anything latley build up like shes been making me do all the work but then i got mad at her and told her she wasnt fufilling what a g/f should do like why the fuck should i have to fuck her every night for 2 mths she cant get on top??

and she was promising me a strip tease if i did some things then shed just say she never said that maby did that 3 times in 2 mths then i said thats fucking it you gotta do somthing

she just expects that ill always give in and not hold out on sex (which is pretty much true) but if you express that your really upset she should listen

remember the biggest thing is if shes willing to listen to your needs and at least talk them out


good luck

[Dr. G]

Originally Posted by phattybudz

if all else fails, just start beating off after its clear she's not in the mood. Maybe she freaks out, maybe she doesnt. If she doesnt, problem semi-solved (unless that starts a new argument about porn!) if she does, that's a good opportunity to talk about it.

That's semi-joking but I actually did that and it worked once.

this too if xshes not down for a hj then just whack it she cant say shit about it

be like im a male human i need to orgasim if your not goign to help me then ill do it myself

and if she wont let you jack off you got other problems

but like i siad just make it known that you are very unhappy but want to work it out

[whodi]

It says in the bible that you must not deny your husband or wife sex. I know it's jsut a gf, but that still should apply i think.

And i dont care whether you beleive in God/bible or not.. I do and i'm just sharing what i think may be interesting to you. If not, so be it.