[Ms.Grat3ful]

Are Women too Aggressive these Days?

Yahoo story link: https://health.yahoo.com/experts/menl...too-aggressive

but for you non-clickers here's a copy and paste:

With marriage rates dropping faster than ratings for The Apprentice-we're down more than 50 percent since 1970, according to the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, with approximately 100 million singles in the U.S.-it's no wonder that we spend a lot of time thinking, talking and debating the quality of our relationships. In fact, more than 40 percent of both men and women say they spend at least two hours every day thinking about their current or potential relationships. (Scary fact: About 10 percent of us spend more than six hours every day doing so, according to a national Harris Interactive poll.) One reason: Many of these relationships simply aren't panning out, as evidenced by the fact that fewer men and women are getting married. Doesn't matter whose fault it is-men's, women's, or nobody's. We're just simply not making it to this stage of commitment as often as we used to.

Now, you could argue that's a good thing (because, of course, you shouldn't settle in with just anyone), and you could argue that it's a bad thing (because of the decline in the traditional familial infrastructure). But one thing worth thinking about is how our dating and mating rituals have changed over the years-and how that's changed our approach to commitment.

One trend that men have been grappling with: Figuring out their roles in relationships as women have become increasingly financially independent, increasingly sexually liberated, and increasingly determined not to let their biological clocks dictate their relationship status. Before you hurl e-tomatoes in my direction, hear me out: All those things can be good, but some men struggle with understanding the different levels of female aggression-how it may fluctuate at different stages of the relationship, and how it can be a turn-on in some situations and a turn-off in others.

Initially, for example, few things are as attractive to a man as a woman who's unafraid to pursue the guy she's interested in. But as the relationship grows, that same assertiveness can leave a man feeling like he's less in charge of his life than he'd like to be. Men tend to leave a lot of the life details-from social planning to family planning-to the women in their lives. So when a woman has all the power, and she asserts her new role as boss in many realms, it can leave men feeling a little, well, little. Hypocritical on a guy's part? Perhaps, but his feelings can easily change with the tide of relationships. I spoke to dozens of men about the different stages of their relationships, and what behaviors they rank as too aggressive or "just right." But I'd also love to hear your thoughts. When does assertiveness change from a deal-maker to a deal-breaker?

Relationship Point: The Approach
Guys' Take: Women Aren't Aggressive Enough

For a long time, men have upheld the role of the hunters. Women? The rejectors. Doesn't matter whether that initial approach happens at a bar, a bookstore, a coffee shop, or at the drive-thru intercom, guys who have spent their lives dreaming up opening lines and innovative approaches feel like decade-old carpets-they're just plain worn down. The ultimate rejuvenator: A woman who's unafraid to hunt the hunter.

Relationship Point: The Link
Guys' Take: Women Can Be Too Aggressive

When it comes to new relationships, some women can have the same strategy as food marketers: They want to slap labels on everything. Exclusive! Just Dating! Friends Only! 100% Completely Committed! Lots of guys don't mind the status, and they're fine with the natural progression of dating. But guys also hate premature enunciation-a declaration of the label too early in the relationship. Pushing too hard early can quickly turn his excitement about the relationship into an indictment of it.

Relationship Point: The Hook Up
Guys' Take: Women Aren't Aggressive Enough

Men certainly have long lists when it comes to their bedroom wants: a little more of this, a lot more of that, fat-free whipped cream please. But if there's one thing that men really crave in the bedroom, it's not a certain position, or even a certain act. It's a certain attitude. What many men want when it comes to sex is for women to show a little more assertion, aggression, and initiation. In the aforementioned national survey, only 25 percent of men rate their current partners as an 8 or higher on a 1-10 scale of sexual aggressiveness, while 60 percent of men say that's the level they'd like her to be. Many guys feel that if his mate is confident in the bedroom, he's more likely to stick with her beyond the bedroom walls.

Relationship Point: The Plateau
Guys' Take: Women Can Be Too Aggressive

Every long-term relationship reaches the point when the routines, the dialogue, the sex, the everything can feel more predictable than a Paula Abdul critique. But that doesn't mean the relationship's bad; it just means it's steady. While 92 percent of men say they want to marry, that doesn't always happen. Why? For one reason, men sometimes feel like, if the relationship is a car trip, they've been kicked out of the driver's seat and thrown in the trunk. Most guys want to have a say in the speed and direction the relationship is going, and the minute they sense that women are grabbing the wheel-as opposed to sharing the driving responsibility-then they feel lost. Case in point: in the survey for Men, Love & Sex, the number-one thing that men said bothered them about their partners was how much they nagged. When a woman applies a lot of pressure on a guy-whether it's to fix his bad habits or convince him to have babies-it simply feels suffocating.

Relationship Point: At the Crossroads
Guys' Take: Women Tend to be Just Right

Some relationships work out perfectly: boy meets, dates, and marries girl. Some relationships work perfectly imperfectly: boy meets, dates, and dumps girl (or is dumped by girl). But lots of relationships fall into the limbo category where neither partner knows whether the relationship elevator is going up or down. In those cases, the woman often forces the man's hand: Are you in, or out? For which, we thank you: Sometimes a guy needs that kick to get him moving-either down the aisle, or down the road.

Is the modern dating woman too aggressive or just knows what she wants, or better yet, What she doesn't want... .... what do you gals all think? ...

[Dan42nepa]

I personally like aggresive women as long as they dont turn into Glenn Close in fatal attraction.

[Ms.Grat3ful]

Originally Posted by Dan42nepa

I personally like aggresive women as long as they dont turn into Glenn Close in fatal attraction.

:smile:...sure Dan, you say that now... but when the thrill of making her happy fades and the aggression can turn to aggrevation, did he really not know what he wanted in the begining? ... I don't know, being married for so long but remembering being pursued by my love, the article make me curious as to how it works for the more aggressive single woman out there, if it can 'work'.. and if they've found a guy who still likes them being aggressive after sometime has passed...

[Haps]

Backed into a corner, verbally and physically assaulted. 3 minute screaming session with a large hunting knife at my throat. Reckon my spouse was a bit too aggressive for me, being thrown out was like parole from prison. [I stayed the last decade to protect my kids]
H

[Dan42nepa]

Well, i suppose that movie was more of a moral lesson. He secumbed to his desires, was weak and his life got crazy. I guess thats the message, you shouldnt cheat.. On the other hand i know some crazy women... men too..
Thats part of life I guess.. By the time you reach reasonable age you get enough common sense about other humans to recognize warning signs. The internet is full of them. I was married for 20 years and my wife died last april so I am still too shell shocked to even think about dating if ever..

[Mrs.Babba]

Good article MsG...I'm sure relationships evolve just like humans do...each one is different from the next...
"It's a certain attitude. What many men want when it comes to sex is for women to show a little more assertion, aggression, and initiation." This sentence is so true...at least in my case, Im sure babba would like that to happen ...but its hard to change who you are and what is comfortable within your own skin... but it makes ya think and to try to what makes your partner happy...thanks for the info
Dan..Im so sorry to hear about your wife:( ..that must be so hard...and yea to try to date or even think about would be the hardest ever! ...we are here to listen if you need us
hehehe ...kinda makes me blush just posting this...ahhh

Originally Posted by Ms.Grat3ful

Are Women too Aggressive these Days?

No.

[mrwags]

Originally Posted by Dan42nepa

Well, i suppose that movie was more of a moral lesson. He secumbed to his desires, was weak and his life got crazy. I guess thats the message, you shouldnt cheat.. On the other hand i know some crazy women... men too..
Thats part of life I guess.. By the time you reach reasonable age you get enough common sense about other humans to recognize warning signs. The internet is full of them. I was married for 20 years and my wife died last april so I am still too shell shocked to even think about dating if ever..

Dan on these pages and somewhere in my posts is a short story regarding the fact I've been in love 4 times and 3 of them are no longer of the living (1 car wreck and 2 suicides) the fourth is my rock my desire in life to do good. NO ONE can sit here and say I know how YOU feel BUT I got a phone call one day heard some crying and some babbling the click of the shotgun and then the blast and then the thud. The sounds and mostly the scene of what I saw a few minutes later when I rushed over will FOREVER be burned in my mind.

My point is Dan that situation was the first of three and you will NEVER imo get over it all all you will be able to do is maybe in your own way accept it and understand that as long as they live on in our minds and hearts they are never really gone.

I'm currently a very happy man that has been married to the best women EVER for over 2 decades and live each day as if it's the first and the last EVERYDAY.

The one thing I learned in all the years of life's ups and downs is this, NO MATTER WHAT when it truly comes down to it all you really have is yourself and if YOU don't LOVE you why should anyone else?

Dan as the GREAT Mrs Babba said we are here if ya need us. This place has got a few more kids running around but the old timers are still learkin still sharin and will forever be in your heart if you want us.

My family's condolences on your loss and hope her god accepts her with open arms and you might learn someday that now she's in a better place.


Have A Great Day
Mr.Wags

[Ms.Grat3ful]

my sympathies Dan... after something like that I would think you wouldn't be expected to want to date. (but I could be wrong) yikes! My Mother's husband was dating within six months of her death... ... so, I say, do what ever you want, not what others expect....

and yea Mrs.B.. I thought it was pretty interesting... I can't even imagine tryng to date... but is the article saying dudes today are fickled?... .. I don't like making the social plans, it just seems to work out that way... but we do discuss it, so I really don't know who (both) makes the plans?...

... and no offense guys, but you all are already represented in the article... I would really like to hear from the ladies out there as well...
(this was before i saw your lovely post Wags...)

[subliminal]

I saw a documentary about aggressive drunk english woman in a town in England. It really shocked me to see that some woman are so violent.