I wanted to share this from Danny Nagashima from 2005:
You can analyze your situation all you want. You have to get to the root of why "I don't believe in the greatness of my life." You have to grab it by the roots and yank it out of your life. You must chant to awaken your own greatness. Chant to appreciate and value your life. The answer is probably so simple, but since we tend to over-analyze, it gets complicated and the solution seems far away. Your mission as a Buddhist is to become happy--not to master suffering. We have the negative and positive parts of us--one says 'who are you kidding', the other 'you can do it'. You have to fight to not give into your negativity. This is not about being a writer, artist, actor, etc., it's about becoming the man/woman you always wanted to become, a man/woman who really values his/her life.
THE OBSTACLES YOU FACE ARE THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYER
Those feelinsg of self-doubt, those feelings that 'I'm a failure' those are the feelings that I have to face and address. How you feel about yourself, that feeling of self-loathing of not being good enough, of being a sham... Those are the feelings that you have to face. Your talent is not being questioned; It's about how you feel about yourself. That is the karma. You have to value your own life, to appreciate that it has NOTHING to do with some one else validating you. Follow your heart, follow your Buddhahood, and the effect from that, the benefit from that, will be MASSIVE.
You need to follow your heart, truly treasure your life. When Nicheren Daishonin inscribed the Dai-Gohonzon, he was already chanting daimoku and out of the greatness of his life his Buddhahood, his enlightened state, he inscribed the Dai-Gohonzon for all humanity so that everyone could relieve his or her suffering. When you sit in front of the Gohonzon, and chant, you have to have the most reverence for your life. The Gohonzon is the embodiment of your enlightened life, the same as his, therefore your life deserves that kind of reverence.
If you chant for two weeks, to really be a man/woman of unimited self-esteem and to really, truly appreciate your life including your flaws, your accomplishments, your defeats, your losses, your victories, all you have created and truly APPRECIATE YOUR TALENT as (whatever you are) for two weeks, then EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE.
Forget about all the past 'garbage', put it away, that will only make you feel impotent. From today on really chant about being that man/woman of unlimited self-esteem. Really appreciate everything about your life; all the things about you that make you incredibly unique and wonderful. All your sufferings, problems, heartaches, will be the stuff you need, in order to share your experience, to encourage and inspire others with. Focus on really, truly awakening to your greatness. This is the opportunity (suffering, obstacles, lack of self-esteem) you needed to go through in order to become outrageously successful--so you can fulfill your dream. If you focus on this-really valuing your life now, then everything will fall into place and in a much bigger way. This is something no one can give you; the universe is showing you what you need to tackle. When you first chant this way, a lot of 'garbage' may come out of your life, a lot of negativity, awful feelings may surface, let it pass through you like flu, and transform the darkness. See the enlightened side of your fear. We always bring into our lives what matches our life condition. Chant to feel incredible joy about your worth. You will feel and know your self worth and greatness.
Your not being able to do whatever you determined to do is a manifestation deep down of your feeling of fear, that you are not good enough, that you do not have it in you. You must get yourself to a place where there is the greatness of your life, then everything will be transformed. We have to believe in our Buddhahood. When we face the Gohonzon, we should say, 'I'm going to praise my wonderful life.' It is important to awaken to your own greatness, your life is the Gohonzon, now is the time for you to start over.
When you pray to a deity, your prayer becomes passive, our life is the MYSTIC LAW. This law is not outside you. When you get a benefit, it was you who created it. You must awaken to your greatness, appreciate and value your own life. It is no different to the enlightened life of Nicheren Daishonin, embodied in the Gohonzon.
NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO