Hey LJ.mr keep on fighting the good fight brother!

[lumberjack.mr]

Today didn't go so well at dialysis. I don't know how they keep putting incompetent staff on me? The girl setting my needles today did the first one fine, but after she set the second one, she pushed the rinse and pre- med.s in too fast for a new fistula, and blew the dam thing way up by my arm pit, on the inside of my bicep muscle.! Burned like hell immediately, and have been packing my arm in ice since I returned home, but this dam thing is hurting now! It had a large bubble in the skin earlier, now it is hardened and turning all different shades of dark purple and black, and is about the size of a small lemon. I refuse to take anymore of the dam Lortab crap, and I have ice packs on it even as I type this, but holy crap this shit hurts!
On a brighter note; my girls are doing great! The two that are in the flowering cabinet are awesome! not very large, but it will be enough to last me until the next two are done, in about 6 weeks... They are really starting to frost over with crystals and looking more and more like the picture on the grow reports. Soon it will be that terrible day when the stalk is cut, and the growth stops.. I always enjoy watching the way different strains grow, and seeing how far they will go in the perfect conditions. The clones i cut on the 5th of last month. are doing very well, and soon will be large enough start taking cuttings from, to create more of the little beauties! i inadvertently pollinated a Money Maker x with the Kauai strain, and the White Widow x with the Kauai strain. But I let them go for the seed supply. I can hardly wait to see what these babies will do in the extended growing season here. I suspect the result is going to be spectacular! The money maker is such a vigorous growing strain! I have been told that the strain is common to produce upwards of four pounds per plant! That's amazing! The most I have ever personally pulled of of one girl is two and a half lbs.. What I am most excited about is being able to produce my own oil/ medications. i am so dam sick of taking over 20+ pills per day! Been popping these dam thing by the handful for over eight years. My kidney probably would have been fine if I had been living in a Medical friendly state for the last ten years! This evening is ok, but i won't be able to do dialysis again until Saturday morning. By then I will be feeling pretty crappy again, and not in very good shape health wise. Usually by the fourth or fifth day of missed or failed dialysis they admit me back into the hospital for another round on the bill the shit out of Medicare - merry pay all ride! The only problem is I have to endure all of the pain and traumas associated with their little money train! Last month when I was in the hospital, was the quickest most hassle free stay I have ever had in a hospital, but We had to go down to the Dallas metropolis area to obtain a good surgeon, and proper care. I was in and out in three days, and i had a horrible seizure coming out of surgery. In the local hospital, I would've awakened in ICU and probably on life support! Every time I came out of surgery here, the first thing they would do was pump me full of Dillaudid, to control the pain and reduce the seizure risk. Worked out good for the nurses on the floor, but I had to deal with heroin withdrawals for three days to every one that I was on that crap! It was hell on me, and even worse for my loved ones, who dealt with the mood swings and debilitating depression, nausea, and anger issues. Pain and drug withdrawals do not make good bedfellows ! With cannabis edibles, like the granola bars I had this last time thru the OR. made a drastic difference in the way I will treat my pain, and seizures from then / now on. Hope that the dialysis goes better next time- I only go so i don't die ... You'd think they would put their best person on me every time until this dam thing has time to season in? just a thought .. Lj.mike

[lumberjack.mr]

Treatment went well, maybe nest week ,i will get a full week of treatments, withoout any of the nurses blowing my arm again?. i hope it levels out soon. i am ready for some stability. #33 operations in fifty years, i'm done! Lets hope..Lj.mike

[lumberjack.mr]

Today is the continuation of yesterday, or at least that is how it feels , when you've been up feeding the wood stove all nite. I have not been out to look, but the sound of sleet pinging off of the bathroom vent cap doesn't sound good.. I imagine to wood pile is a solid block of ice by now. Knew this front was coming, but somehow I didn't get out to cover the wood pile before the ice hit. i have a rick or so under the back deck for just such occasions, fortunately I thought of that ahead of time . When the wife said there is a place to park the lawn mower, I said no, there is a place to stack an emergency supply of fire wood. I guess i was right about that, now I have to build an awning off of the side of the shed for the mower to go under. We all know john deer mowers are allergic to weather exposure, and $2800. was a hell of a lot for a dang mower! Put that on the list with all of the other shit I need to get done, but have not..
My treatment seems to be leveling to some degree. That is to say, they have begun to understand my health and it's fragile nature a little better. There are only three nurses that are allowed to set my needles now, fortunately they are very well skilled and are quick and relatively hassle free. I have been trying to exercise some in the mornings. I had a real rude awakening the first time I dropped for twenty, or hit the pull-up bar for a set of ten.. Lets say it has been a while, a few operations, and a lot of bed time since the last time i tried to do anything of a work out. The push ups were a little bit refreshing, but then I tried the pull ups, not so good, and the sit ups were not very pretty to watch, but I knocked out forty before i felt the erg to puke!!
This morning isn't so bad because I have been up and down all nite, but I can definitely feel the soreness building in my abdominal region, and especially in my arms and chest! I think it is going to help, but i have to be very careful with the right arm, and the lifting restrictions.. I'd hate to inadvertently damage the only life line I have left.. man I miss being a body builder. i don't miss it for all of the attention it garners, but I miss the self sufficiency I felt then, and I miss the exuberance of pride my wife used to show when ever we were out together. Man I wish we could just pack and roll like we used to. we'd pack for a week and hop in the truck and take off. Now any abnormal travel must be planned and programed before i ever Leave the house, so I will be able to receive my dialysis, and try to enjoy wherever we go. In my youth , in the darker time of my life, I traveled all over this country. I left home at a very young age, never to return, and totally unequipped or prepared for the world, or afraid.
I leaned a lot, very fast, and I remembered. I remembered the atrocities I left, and the atrocities I faced. the world can be a very cruel and cold place. Lj.mike

[lumberjack.mr]

This day is good. i have visitors from the land of hope, California, Humbolt Nation.. they have brought me some goodies, to help me feel better , or to drill home how much I am missing by being in Texas.. Any rate, dam glad to see them. I listen to some of the stories he tells me of grows he has done and noes he has been part of, and my mind reels in speculation of all that could be .. Dam I will be glad when Texas gets in the dam game! I would surmise, that it doesn't take a fool to understand when a state is making so much money in tax revenue that it has to return $ to it;s citizens?! Are these dang red neck , hard nosed idiots really believing that this is going to go away or somehow be stopped, or reversed? The truth is out , and the people who elected these liars, and fools= are pissed! They have asserted their will upon the elected officials of this country; the law makers and , and erasers. It is not a dictatorship in which we live. rather a supposed democracy. We suppose that when we elect a person to an office of public domain, they are competent, and morally indignant to the pressures of ' outside influence", or bribes of political bartering. The actions we are seeing today are a desecration of the constitutional rights of every person in this country! Sadly; we are too often reminded that power corrupts the hearts of those who posses it, and destroys the moral fiber of a persons honor and dignity.
I am , as usual, up before the rest of teh house by hours. I awaken instinctively, and usually can not return to sleep. I do this is hope that I will be able to sleep thru my treatment as much as possible. The treatments themselves are getting easier to endure. With the right check list prior to leaving, and the right medications when i get there - there is a way to crash , and not wake up or move, I just need a little more time to get the timing down.. Of course ; if I had more edibles , I could conceivably medicate in the chair with no one the wiser. My friend brought me several samples of different products available at the cannabis clubs, Amazing! I am going to try some of the candy today, and of course the joint for the trip there and the one for the trip home.. I really need there to be no screw ups with treatment this week, The wife and I have a concert date nite for Thursday evening- THE STEVE MILLER BAND. and I have moved my dialysis on that day to 10am, so I will have time to take a nap for a couple of hours after treatment. i have been on Peritoneal dialysis for the last three and a hall years, and on an infallible schedule , that limited my evening to 8pm curfew, so I would have ten hours to conduct my treatment before I had to get the kids up and off to school. The modality of dialysis that I am on now, and for ever, is only four hours - three days a week/And i don't have a catheter extending from my abdomen. The promise of being able to swim this years is a positive gain as well, especially when the summer temps exceed 100* for months at a time .. I miss Kauai so much this time of year, not that I miss it any less any other time of year, just don't have as much time by the wood stove to think about it... this too will pass ? been a lot of years and the longing to return to my island home still calls so loudly in my heart and thoughts. I miss the family I have there, and i miss my hikes in the interior of the island... i miss my home.. Lj.mike

Hey LJ have a good time at the concert this week buddy. Steve Miller Band should be a great one!

[lumberjack.mr]

I sure intend to, might even have a drin- nah, but I'll definitely be taking some good stuff in the oil pen! Yeehaa !! I really hope my health doesn't take a dive in the next two days.. Thanks for the good vibes though JD hope all is well on your end of the rainbow.. Lj.mike

[armedoldhippy]

Originally Posted by lumberjack.mr

I sure intend to, might even have a drin- nah, but I'll definitely be taking some good stuff in the oil pen! Yeehaa !! I really hope my health doesn't take a dive in the next two days.. Thanks for the good vibes though JD hope all is well on your end of the rainbow.. Lj.mike

enjoy and relax. after all that you have been through, you have it coming to you...

Originally Posted by armedoldhippy

enjoy and relax. after all that you have been through, you have it coming to you...

THIS

[lumberjack.mr]

Man, clear sky- cold night! I have a lot of medical implants, due to not sitting on the side lines, and the cold weather makes them hurt like heck!
My girls are ready to cut! I think they have gone as far as i should try for, with this pair. the next two to go into the cabinet will be the Blue Dreams! I can't wait to see how these flower out! I have a couple of more days of flushing, and I will make the switch.
Tomorrow is the concert day! I feel great! I was kinda concerned about how sore I was , from trying to do pull ups,etc.. I think I have the worst of it past now, and my arm is doing well. Things are coming together for a great night! lj.mike