[lumberjack.mr]

Hello all, Some of us have met.. I want to take a moment to discuss the fear we as American citizens must face as a way of life.
I am somewhat set in my ways at the age of fifty, but I suppose I'm just tiered of the BS. We have been trained by our government and our elders to respect the law and those who enforce it; that being said, this shit has gone way out of hand- and mind ! I live in a small texas town and the grow community is very limited at best and often it is weeks between supply meets demand, and then the grade or quality of medicine is "iffy" at best. I have a vested interest in establishing my own source but my wife has been raised in a very paranoid environment ( as a result of both or her parents being former big- dealers of cannabis) and having seen them both get busted and spend thousands of dollars on attorneys ect.. So I having a very difficult time getting her to support me in my activism toward the legalization of cannabis as a Medication- and regulated access to a recreational market.
I am dying, renal failure has me on a one -way ride and I'm not going out of this life cowering in a corner begging someone to allow me to make myself feel better, or heaven forbid I might find a way to heal myself! I had some medicine growing out in a far corner of our property - completely unnoticeable from any view, and right before they started to bud, my wife went out and pulled them out of the ground when she stumbled upon them! Bear in mind that they have been there all summer, with her out doing yard work and flowerbeds and watering every evening- and she never saw them once!
I was so outraged that I couldn't even speak to her for three days! She of all people, the one who knows better than anyone the amount of suffering I endure, the debilitating nausea day and night, the night sweats, the anxiety of knowing that our daughters have, and most likely will never know a day when their daddy wasn't sick, and the countless "side effects" of the 20+ pills I must consume daily- in conjunction with 10 hours per day of dialysis! How could she do such a thing knowing how much I depend on the relief I am able to obtain from cannabis usage, and that the plants she was destroying would have supplied me for at least 2 months !
I am at a loss for words. after 10 years of marriage , all during which I have been a avid believer - 9 years of which We've been fighting this disease, she refuse to allow me any lee-way on this!
There is simply no way I can continue to pay the extortion prices of medicine here from the streets, and I am unable to travel or move to another more cannabis friendly state due to the extensive daily treatment I require to continue Living!
I am backed into a corner ! I am an activist ! I am also a Patient! Yes, I get people's attention on this topic because I am affected to the core of my existence! I am not afraid any more ! Let the dam county pay the $78,000. per month for my dialysis! Let the dam law pay the 1.2 million that Medicare was billed for my continued life last year alone ! Its all of these Dam Pharmaceutical medications that blew up my one remaining kidney to start with.. sick of HYPOCRACY !,mike

[lumberjack.mr]

hhmmm.

[Payaso]

I have moved this thread to the medicinal forums, where your post may get more attention. Best wishes...

well ... Mr Lumberjack ... it looks to me like Life is dealing you a shitty hand healthwise. AND THEN to be so actively UNsupported by yr Missus must be like a kick in the guts.

in such a position I would have SO MUCH rage! and because yr sick and without energy you probably can't even kick the dog or cat ... yes?

I 'm getting to be an old codger ... I 'm in my sixties now ... and I know something about losing strength, losing potency ... having to rely a lot on others ... and how having to rely on others means the issue of trust takes on an entirely new dimension. it is big fear of mine that in my final days I 'll be looked after by someone discompassionate ... say someone who secretly hates the elderly. such people DO exist. and for me this would be POWERLESSNESS in the extreme.

I guess this is what you are feeling Mr Lumberjack ... ?

Pal, I wish you the energy to rage at yr situation!!! write yr rage down here. so far it looks like two of us are in it with you.

Live On! Rage On!

[stoned-trout]

wow.. I don't know if I would put up with an old lady like that if I was dying...maybe buy cheap mexi weed and make oil with it???..good luck..

[lumberjack.mr]

A real kick in the gut was when we had two doctors from two different fields and offices, both told me to start growing weed - with my wife sitting next to me! Bear in mind she's just killed the only two girls I had growing! They would've provided me with medicine for the entire winter! The doctors told her that as a result of the continued use of hydrocodone for over ten years- Im now an opiate addict! The problems I have been having getting my dialysis to work properly, the debilitating nausea and spontaneous vomiting, and the uncontrollable rage I feel inside are all the result of my having began to self wing from the pain killers and use cannabis in their place. That is only the beginning of the withdrawal symptoms , and they are going to get much worse! I am so frustrated and pissed I can hardly type fast enough to keep up with my mind!
So, now my wife has heard with her own ears in the presence of the doctors saying it- I hope things will get more realistic around here! I was recommended to use 2~3 oz. per 14 days, of a high CBD, and THC and consider ways to extract from the plant to lesson the effects on my COPD problem.. I am not sure how much or what kind of equipment I will need to supply this amount, but I know it will have to be done in as compact a manner as possible.
It may very well end up that we have to sell the house and either move farther out of town, or state... Between a rock and an opiate addiction !Mike

Originally Posted by lumberjack.mr

Between a rock and an opiate addiction !Mike

that's a HARD place.

but I can see yr not done for yet! I mean you seem to have options ... and I wondered if at the bottom of things is the State you live in. viewing matters from the liberal Land of Oz where I live, Texas looks rock hard and just as friendly.
I was wondering if yr Wife's family's trouble was all in that State? in which case moving to another State might change things a lot ...
doctors and their opiates ... ! similar here. lots of 'Oxycontin' addicted people. realising there is trouble with these opiates has prompted one State government here recently to move to approve medical marijuana. the parliamentary vote is soon. but everyone may cover their arses by approving only for terminally ill ...

anyway, no doubt the future will look after itself ... and if you have the means and yr Wife agrees I hope you take the option of moving to a cannabis-friendly State.

So Cobber, cheers from the Land of Oz!

[VerdantGreen]

your wife is probably trying to protect your family, daughters from the consequences of being caught growing. instead of not talking to her, try discussing the options. see if you can get her to agree to you growing indoors. just a 250 or 400w lamp in a 2x2 or 3x2' closet or cabinet would be enough for you. indoors, small scale, you are less likely to get caught. i grow in my loft and have done for years without even my kids knowing.

hope things get worked out,

VG

[lumberjack.mr]

thanks for your input, I am beginning to see a shift in her stance.. We will continue to hash this out until we find a comfortable solution. I am appreciative of your input and suggestions. I am discussing my fathers farm with him and my mother has a home out in the country, and has no neighbors within a mile or so.. I am pretty sure I will be able to set some out in the spring for out-door grow, but I have to arrange a way of sustaining my requirements thru the months in between harvest. I understand my wife's concern for the safety of her and our daughters, but this is my life in the balance! There must be some alternative to her current fears and insecurities, that allows for my medical needs, without jeopardizing our home and family! Perhaps I can obtain some retired or un-needed equipment from those among us who actually care about other people. I know we are out there, just hard to find... Have a great day< and chat back soon! Mike

[stoned-trout]

craigslist has used gear all the time..small lights can be bought at home depot and converted for our uses...home depot has up to 400 watts