Anybody Else Get Lonely?

Being a grower sure can be lonely sometimes when you're going at it solo.

1 year ago I quit my job and began scouting for a house to buy with my savings.

6 months ago I bought my first house, began remodeling it and setting up my grow room.

I've sacrificed a fair amount of my life to pursue this as a profession. I live on the complete opposite side of town of all my friends (2 freeways and 30-45 minutes depending on traffic) and because of how busy I've been I almost never socialize anymore. Haven't been a relationship with a girl for over 2 years now.

Only person I really see on a regular basis is my dad who has been helping me on my house remodeling, which I am very grateful for, but we don't talk a whole lot like you do with friends, ya know?

Most people would love to have their own crib and throw parties, BBQs, etc, but I am too paranoid. I have been around the cannabis scene for over a decade now and seen way too many horrible robberies and have learned that privacy trumps partying every day of the week. For that reason I've only had like 2 friends over to my house so far (both of them growers).

The daily routine can get pretty damn boring:
breakfast
gym (if time permits)
home remodeling projects
lunch
filling rezs, plant maintenence
dinner
trimming
bed

I run perpetual and am really trying to establish myself with some local clubs so I have been very OCD with trimming and presenting a beautiful product (not to mention I have all my money invested in the house so don't have any extra bucks to pay trimmers with), and as such there is always something to trim. I pull down every 3-4 or so weeks, and it usually takes me that much time to trim up that batch (around 2 bows).

Trimming can be mind-numbingly boring. I've been listening to George RR Martin books on tape which has helped pass the time, but fear what I'll do once I'm done with those.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy just being in my house all day (going to the gym helps a lot). I'd love to get a dog for companionship, but need to finish my house first and establish myself financially before taking on such a huge responsibility. I'd also love to rescue/adopt a dog, but all the places I researched require home checks to see if they're fit for the dog, which I'm too scared to do because of the grow.

Seems like a lot of the other growers I know have partners. 2 of my good friends run a little warehouse together so they're basically inseparable. I envy their companionship for sure as there's always someone to shoot the shit with. On the flipside I know working with a parter often leads to disagreements and quarrels, which can really fuk up a friendship as rifts arise and widen. I've always been the sort of person to go at a venture by myself personally.

I imagine many people on this site have been in similar situations. Guess I just wanted to vent some...

Maybe I should start a grow diary to talk with like-minded growers?

Yup, you're making the ultimate sacrifice. It's tough but just don't forget the big picture. If you do it right, you can retire in no time and get back to real life. Just try to plan out how you are going to invest your money into something legal when you reach your goals. A dog would probably help you stay sane as well. Just remember that all the other people are living real life and will never have anything so who cares about what you're missing. I'm sure you're not missing much. Just try to stay positive and have a good reason inside your head that keeps you motivated when times seem rough.

I'm pretty sure that this is pretty common...unless you have a SO that knows about what you do. I am in the same boat you are in...and I bet a ton of other people ON and OFF the forums go through times like this.

I also work out to help keep out negative thoughts and just to relax....

I also just bought a motorcycle....this is great for when you just need to get out and take your mind off of shit.

If you want a dog...get one. It's not like you aren't home. Dogs rule! And yes...being a good pet owner is a huge commitment.....but if you are in this game....I think you will work it out somehow.

I mean....you have your own house...do what you love to do for a living. You are like 98% better than most people wandering this earth. Yin-Yang kind of shit.

And...yeah...a lonely man's trimming thread is def. in order!

Cheers

TpM

many times.. till I go hunting,fishing or hiking...I cant stand the complaints...are we there yet...where are the fish,theres too many bugs ,blah blah blah .sometimes going alone rules...whiny bitches ..the just do it generation is just a bunch of pussies...cant hang with the trout

Thank you so much for starting this thread. I feel the same way. I've been getting better and better at this. A couple years ago I got into a really nice house. I live a really easy life with a lot of free time. Training martial arts is the only thing that keeps me in a semi routine. Very strange lifestyle, but it fits me perfect. I get very very lonely. I have a dog. You might want to get something small. I used to have a pit bull. If you have a pit bull you look like a crack dealer. People judge you. If you have a little dog, people will just think you're a pussy. lol My dog is the best friend I've ever had. He keeps me a little more busy.

I've never had one party here. Our daily routine is the same. What happened was, I spent a lot of time on icmag. Learned so much. Too much. Moved maybe 20 minutes away to a nice town into a really cool place. Most of my old friends either work their asses off for peanuts, or live with their parents. I become more and more of a hermit every day. And, I get less and less patience for peoples bullshit.

I was going to rescue. But, I was all set with those applications etc. Fuck that. Application for a dog and pay. No thanks. I just shopped around with breeders. I found a very nice old lady and paid cash.

Snype said:

Yup, you're making the ultimate sacrifice. It's tough but just don't forget the big picture. If you do it right, you can retire in no time and get back to real life. Just try to plan out how you are going to invest your money into something legal when you reach your goals. A dog would probably help you stay sane as well. Just remember that all the other people are living real life and will never have anything so who cares about what you're missing. I'm sure you're not missing much. Just try to stay positive and have a good reason inside your head that keeps you motivated when times seem rough.

Click to expand...

There are definitely sacrifices involved, but I'm nowhere close to being on your level. I'm still in the city and have all the modern amenities associated with such, so it's not like I've forgone modern life entirely to pursue this

But yes, thinking about the big picture is extremely important. Forgoing instant gratification - e.g. going out and drinking all friday night and being hungover on saturday and neglecting my plant responsibilities - and making sure I'm fulfilling all my daily tasks is definitely prioritized.

Unfortunately, pursuing this won't lead me to retire anytime soon... I have ammassed a considerable amount of debt in the purchasing of my home, and only have 1 5400w flowering room at the moment so it's not exactly like I'm running a money machine.

I have made some tangible goals and hope to pull down at least 2 bows every 3 weeks if I can get everything dialed in and running hiccup-free which will give me a decent middle-class income, but after including all the business-costs it's really not anything too special so to speak. I drive a 12 year old car, wear clothes I've had for 5 years, don't live a flashy life, etc. Pretty much all income for the foreseeable future will be put towards paying down debt and investing in projects which will expand my operation.

You spoke of having a good reason for it all in mind. For me, the biggest things are being my own boss and being able to set my own schedule (to a certain extent). Working for somebody else and dealing with all the bullchit from the top can get really old, and I've done that before. Also I have really bad insomnia, so when I worked a "normal" job on "normal hours" I was almost always extremely sleep-deprived which always lead to really bad anxiety. Being able to work late into the night now and sleep 8 hours a night has definitely improved my quality of life. These are definitely important things to me.

Thanks for dropping in Snype.

ThePizzaMan said:

I'm pretty sure that this is pretty common...unless you have a SO that knows about what you do. I am in the same boat you are in...and I bet a ton of other people ON and OFF the forums go through times like this.

I also work out to help keep out negative thoughts and just to relax....

I also just bought a motorcycle....this is great for when you just need to get out and take your mind off of shit.

If you want a dog...get one. It's not like you aren't home. Dogs rule! And yes...being a good pet owner is a huge commitment.....but if you are in this game....I think you will work it out somehow.

I mean....you have your own house...do what you love to do for a living. You are like 98% better than most people wandering this earth. Yin-Yang kind of shit.

And...yeah...a lonely man's trimming thread is def. in order!

Cheers

TpM

Click to expand...

Ha, I guess a decent amount of it is yearning for a SO. I've been in 3 long-term relationships in my life, and ironically they were all during times when I was taking a break from the cannabis scene so to speak (well, at least part of that time).

Having graduated from college already and now being self-employed I find it very hard to meet females. I've gotten to the age where I've "outgrown" going to the bars/clubs on any sort of regular basis and attempting to pick up women, which never even really worked anyways... all my long-term relationships were with people I met through school, so with that variable in my life gone I've found it very hard. Where does one meet a cool 420-friendly chick? There are always trust issues as well. Going through scenarios in your mind like "what if she tells her brother/cousin/whoever who then goes and tells his ghetto friend, who then tries to rob me" is something that definitely pops into my head. Obviously you can't be scared of living life, but I have so much at stake right now it's like I can't afford to slip up at all and have anything go wrong.

I think getting a dog should happen sometime within the year. My mom tries to talk me out of it, saying it's like a 10-15 year responsibility and you have no idea what life will throw at you (e.g. moving across the country for work, etc). For that reason I thought it would be great to rescue a dog, especially considering how many perfectly good dogs people throw away every damn day. Which leads back to the point of adoption agencies wanting to do a residence check, which is problematic... maybe I should just scour craigslist...

And yeah, I'm definitely grateful for all I have. It's just especially times like this - the summer - where it can be hard to keep perspective. The weather is extremely nice here right now and everyday people post pics of going to the river, pool, etc and drinking some beers and hanging out, having a good time. Meanwhile I'm stuck in my house in my boxers, sweating my ass off trimming. I have a 3 ton AC unit in my grow room, but nothing in my actual house. Yesterday it was like 95-100 degrees in my house so I was sitting in a pile of sweat on my couch trimming. I'm too paranoid of bugs getting into my grown so I also refuse to open windows/doors to cool the house down, which makes it a lot worse lmao. It was absolutely miserable. I would have hung out in my grow room where it was a good 20 degrees cooler but there's not a lot of extra space and all the air exchange would just blow the leaf trim away so that wouldn't work... the things we do for our plants!

Thanks for sharing.

vro said:

you are one step ahead of me. im trying to get a house to be in your position. you arent missing out on anything in life, people arent what they seem to be. once you get friends you wonder why you are wasting time with them. the truth is you need to do what makes you happy and find out how to be happy without other people in life. that way you wont depend on anyone.

Click to expand...

Good luck man! It took me 6 months to find a house. First I was going to rent a house, and looked for about 3 months. It was problematic considering I had quit my job and thus had no verifiable income, and the city I live is very popular and landlords have 0 problem finding qualified tenants for their rentals. I emailed and emailed, but obviously a landlord is going to pick the "normal" mid-30s guy with a 10 year work and rental history compared to me. It was a sellers market so to speak.

That lead to me to say fuk it I mine as well pool all my resources and just try and buy a house... For my price range I was basically looking at the bottom of the barrel, so anything half-way decent was always snapped up literally within 24 hours of hitting the market (real estate market here is crazy). I put a bid on 1 house the day it went on the market for the asking price, and within 24 hours they had like 6 offers and it went 15 grand over asking price. Shit was crazy! Dunno what the real estate market is like where you live, but you have to be really diligent and fast. Pretty much everyday I would wake up and check the new listings on all the major real estate sites, and if there was anything new I would call ASAP try and get a showing booked. After being too slow on some and having some offers rejected I finally found a place that would work, but was far from ideal. Just gotta be patient and realistic, that would be my best advice.

As for the friends bit, I understand where you're coming from, but have to partially disagree. Over the years my friends group has vastly dwindled down to the where I have about a handful of "good" friends left. Back in high school my social circle was HUGE and I hung out with a lot of people. As time passed, people did shady shit, fucked people over, etc and the social circle got smaller and smaller. I do sometimes see those assholes out and about (although I've never really had anything really bad happen to me, but to many of my close friends), and a lot of people forgive them or forget as time has passed, but I don't. So my friends now are really my "true" friends that have stood the test of time.

stoned-trout said:

many times.. till I go hunting,fishing or hiking...I cant stand the complaints...are we there yet...where are the fish,theres too many bugs ,blah blah blah .sometimes going alone rules...whiny bitches ..the just do it generation is just a bunch of pussies...cant hang with the trout

Click to expand...

Ha I know what you mean! For me the gym is my go-to sanctuary place. Similarly, I've tried working out with friends in the past and it's very much the same. Always bitching about something or another... after trying it a bunch of times I eventually said fuck it it's not gonna work, I enjoy it more when I'm doing it by myself.

Jeeyah said:

I was going to rescue. But, I was all set with those applications etc. Fuck that. Application for a dog and pay. No thanks. I just shopped around with breeders. I found a very nice old lady and paid cash.

Click to expand...

they have "adoption days" at some of the PetSmart shops here. have two dogs from there, no visits, nothing. it may (probably is) be different elsewhere. someone elses "throwaway" dog will make a most appreciative companion...

my friend adopted a beaten dog..he named her sprinkles... with a lot of love she has recovered and is a great pet...we show her extra love to compensate for her previous asshole owner....don't get me going on peeps that abuse animals..there is no phone call for me ,it gets taken care of in house and immediately...no excuses for it..

Jeeyah said:

Thank you so much for starting this thread. I feel the same way. I've been getting better and better at this. A couple years ago I got into a really nice house. I live a really easy life with a lot of free time. Training martial arts is the only thing that keeps me in a semi routine. Very strange lifestyle, but it fits me perfect. I get very very lonely. I have a dog. You might want to get something small. I used to have a pit bull. If you have a pit bull you look like a crack dealer. People judge you. If you have a little dog, people will just think you're a pussy. lol My dog is the best friend I've ever had. He keeps me a little more busy.

I've never had one party here. Our daily routine is the same. What happened was, I spent a lot of time on icmag. Learned so much. Too much. Moved maybe 20 minutes away to a nice town into a really cool place. Most of my old friends either work their asses off for peanuts, or live with their parents. I become more and more of a hermit every day. And, I get less and less patience for peoples bullshit.

Click to expand...

Thanks for dropping in

You say you live a easy life and have a lot of free time. If you don't mind me asking - what size grow do you run? Mine is relatively small and yet I find there's seemingly always something to do, and I always feel busy. I guess I am relatively new to running a room (only done cab and closet setups before this) so I'm still a bit slow at things and it should be more automated and daily tasks should become easier as time goes by I imagine. I have friends who run warehouses and I don't know how the hell they manage to do it... I guess they do hire trimmers and stuff like that, but taking care of a lot of plants is very time-consuming.

And for dogs, I hate to be the cliche but I really want a pitbull I love the pits that my friends own, and they seem like a very good breed overall if you do raise them correctly. I'd like to defy the stereotype. And I live in the ghetto where pretty much everybody and their mom owns a pit so it really wouldn't make me stand out honestly.

Jeeyah said:

I was going to rescue. But, I was all set with those applications etc. Fuck that. Application for a dog and pay. No thanks. I just shopped around with breeders. I found a very nice old lady and paid cash.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the insight. I will definitely have to keep exploring my options as I become more settled into my house

armedoldhippy said:

they have "adoption days" at some of the PetSmart shops here. have two dogs from there, no visits, nothing. it may (probably is) be different elsewhere. someone elses "throwaway" dog will make a most appreciative companion...

Click to expand...

hmmm this sounds pretty cool. Think I might call around to some local ones and see if they do this? Thanks!

stoned-trout said:

my friend adopted a beaten dog..he named her sprinkles... with a lot of love she has recovered and is a great pet...we show her extra love to compensate for her previous asshole owner....don't get me going on peeps that abuse animals..there is no phone call for me ,it gets taken care of in house and immediately...no excuses for it..

Click to expand...

Agree 100%. I can't stand people who don't raise their pets properly (or kids too!). It makes me mad beyond measure... I try to stay to myself for the most part, but whenever I see it my blood just boils.

re:title.Simply dont believe that you are! remember "wants" decrease...

Bad Habits

Take some of your hard earned money..and get like a mini split for your living room/maybe your bedroom.....you might as well be comfortable if your going to have to spend time all alone in that house.

Not to mention....if and when you decide to bring a chick back to your pad....you are going to need it to be inhabitable.

The main reason you aren't having girls back to your house...is because of shit like this...and paranoia of them finding out.

Make it nice...lock the shit out of your grow...

then go out and try and meet women.


AND HAPPY 4th YOU LONELY BASTARD!!!!!

TpM

No matter what kind of job you work the older you get the more you work, and the less time you spend with friends. When I was in my 20's we hung out and partied all the time, now in my 30's everybody is married with kids and you might hang once a month if they can find a babysitter. That's life.

But I fill the void with other things. I volunteer at an urban gardening project. We are growing food for the homeless on rooftops in the urban core. I also volunteer at the foodbank. I go to the gym all the time, and I started taking Krav Maga classes. Really I just to try to find stuff to keep me busy.

And I work between 60 - 80 hours most weeks, but you have to make time for life as well.

what a thread!

yea all the people thinks that all the cannabis growers are "dealers" and has money to buy everything and travel around the world on first class.

the true is that we work a lot for the money mostly alone cause of security reasons. I've seen many of my friends turned to enemies cause they want my profit, my seeds and all what I have... they want my life, they'd eat me LOL ...and your friends envy will makes you lonely, nothing else. cause when you reach that point when people are envy to you, so than you have no friends anymore. thats the reality

Being alone isn't the same as being lonely. Be happy with what you have now and choose to be grateful for every little thing you have. Always do your best and think positive. Don't dwell on your past and things that you don't have. Be real with yourself and surround yourself with good people, even if it's just one other person. If a growers lifestyle isn't for you, then consider another hobby/job.

I have felt more alone in the city surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of folks .then I even have had 50 miles from anywhere signifigant......supermanlivesindeed

Super lonely. .... im here on the 4th of july missing fireworks. I only let a few friends in my house. I think about getting a girl but cant let her in my world. Then i remeber the drama that comes with relationships too. Will she be the one to take me down? . .. i look at it this way...... i get to garden, my life is peacful, and i get free herb.

I honestly feel like i dont deserve a family and would be putting my kids at risk if i had them and a wife too. What i i going to tell inlaws what i do for a living. It is definitely emotional stress involved. Ive been hurt so many times that it would take me ten years to trust a woman enough to marry her... so it looks like im going to be alone with my plants. . Sure id have 20 little gold diggers around if i was public but they dont want me anyway so i never get involved. My outdoor veg garden keeps me sain.

Get a part time goof off job. You got it good from what i have read. Automate your grow more to free up time an funds. I have 2 friends that are in other states i talk to on holidays....well text for a few mins. I'm now on an island an dont know anyone. Your lucky......you just don't know it. Patience, good things come to those who wait.

Arthritis_sucks said:

Get a part time goof off job. You got it good from what i have read. Automate your grow more to free up time an funds. I have 2 friends that are in other states i talk to on holidays....well text for a few mins. I'm now on an island an dont know anyone. Your lucky......you just don't know it. Patience, good things come to those who wait.

Click to expand...

Jobs scare me. You only get robbed when you leave. If people see me leave at 5 every day they know when to rob me. Not worth the 125 buck a week to risk it. I live in a trailer court with a bunch of drama filled babies. "Thats not fair" is probably the most common thing said around here. If people knew i had ten buck in my pocket they would ask to borrow 5.

I tried dogs and cats for companion but it isnt the same as a real family...... you still died alone. Obituary never say surving him is his cat fluffy.

The worst is friends that use you. I did a tally and over a 3 month period my friend and his wife smoked 10k worth of herb for free. I dont dont mind sharing but #$!$. There like its free to you anyway ....and your a jerk for not sharing. Rolls eyes.

So i get a bunch of money and then retire..... then what? I get a bunch of friends we throw lots of parties living the good life at my expense. They stick around till im broke... then they scatter. And im back to square one again. But i like growing plants. Even if i was a millionare id still want to grow at least one. If i were in prison id try too grow herb in there to.... id rig up something...