[oldhaole]

I really didn't want it to come to this.... we already have a "Crap I have to deal with" thread....it's not like we need another.

And yet....here we are.

There ain't much that can be done, except to unfuck what was fucked, stiff upper lip and all that rubbish....and then carry on.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

Aloha, Boys and Girls...

Welcome to yet another, another crappy day in paradise. For those of you new to this never ending series, this is where we ask the musical questions....

How big we gonna screw the pooch this year? Who's gonna get hurt? Will someone go down in smoke and flames? And who will cruse all the way to the easy street?

I've been doing this legally for five years and illegally for decades. This ain't my first rodeo.

And yet....

I have no clue how this year will go. I don't have an idea, or even an inkling, Learned long ago, that gods laughs at the plans of both mice and men, therefore we just play it as the cards are dealt.

This is an outdoor grow., We are at the mercy of the elements. Long stretch of rain? I whine. Lots of sun? I gloat. Two common threads you will find overrepresented here. Let's hope you see more of the latter and less of the first.

Anyway....First post is always the hardest. There is a lot of crap to cover, none of which I will...here. Later, sure. Just not here, not now. Most of you know the way this log works. I have been known to wander. Entirely possible. This thread can not be hijacked. You want it? It's yours. Take it where you will, care for it like you stole it. Slap your pics up. Return it wrecked....who cares? Turn the page.

So, for all you newbes to this clusterfuck, Let's do the who, what, where, why, and how.

Where? Start easy. A few acres, three thousand and a few more feet up on the West Southwest side of Haleakala, on the island of Maui, in the People's Republic of Hawaii.

Why do I do this? Even easier!
a) I like to eat....the money ain't bad.
b) I have no marketable job skills....except a green thumb.
c) Not real good with people....even anti-social, yet I do get a tingle when I'm able to help others in my chosen endeavor.
d) Cannabis grows real well here, didn't anybody tell you? It's a fuckin' weed!

Who?...Do you really want to go there? Didn't think so.

Now for the What and the How.

Fuck you guys....Wait like the rest of us.

Try read... That's what I'm trying to do here. And you will find out a hair after I figure it out....if at all.

Since the man or woman upstairs...I'm leaning towards a she....likes to crush the soul out of any elaborate plans I come up with at the start of the year....I don't even bother to anymore.

Ask me what I'm growing this year? I don't know. I don't care. Something will present itself, I'll latch on, ride that fucker to the point it was my idea, embrace it, claim it, and enjoy the cheers of the multitude....as I ride down the avenue, offerings thrown at my feet.

Dream much? Yea Baby!

I can already hear what your thinking.

"Oh fuck! Yummy is back." Could be.

And with that Intro leaving so much to be desired....we launch this bastard straight into 2014....already in progress.

JEEZUZZZ P CHRIST.... Who do I gotta blow to get it to stop raining? This is bullshit! Twenty days of rain in Febuary. A storm or two every week. Who painted everything Neon Green? Where the fuck is my garden? Under all this green stuff? Ohhh Shittt Nooo....that means I gotta get rid of all this crap just to find dirt. Too green to burn. Damn it! That's work!

Change gears...No log is complete without a long line of excuses and reasons.

Now....

I could blame the current, stunning, lack of production on the miserable weather...and I could happily live with that lie. Blame it all on the weather....it would fly. You'd believe me. I know you would. But it would be a lie. That's right. A lie. The truth of the matter is the past few months I've fucked ...and I do mean fucked up every thing I touch. Cloner pump broke, a month for a new one to get here. Spider mites, Pure unadulterated laziness, on my part, the monkey needing to be scraped off my back and all the crap that comes with it, wifey's seed project and clone run, taking over my growroom, endless rain, escaping dogs, bla bla bla.

Long story short, You ain't missed anything the past few months. The endless rain fucked everything up.

About a month ago....I unfucked it all. Threw wifey and all her garbage out of my room. Believe me, that didn't go over well, but it had to go. With her shit down the road it allowed me to double the number of plants under lights. Now we have room to play with. Sprayed and bombed the room, now we got the mojo back. Starts are replaced, and now where they should be. About a week to go before we can start filling up the holes and terraces.

Now, before the goddess upstairs urinates all over me this is what will probably happen. Start with clones, lots of clones, gotta burn some time until the photoperiod lengthens enough for the big plants. About May we'll start trees. And this is usually where I get into trouble.

See...

If I had half a brain I'd just monocrop Skunkdog clones until Christ came back around again. Do the math, fourteen plants every month, each averaging six apiece....beats a sharp stick in the eye. But no....Instead of this.....





I want this.



or this...



more greed




See? You get the idea. Slight difference in yield there. I'm inclined to swing for the fences. I could see twentyeight of these. That works out just fine on this end. I could also see a problem with MPD and a visit too. Also entirely possible. You don't want to be this guy....



Anyway guys....the first post is in the books. The adventure begins...give me a few seconds and I'll come up with more clichés.

Maybe later.

[GreeeeN GRassss]

nice post newb here looking forward to this, ye i know how you feel about the rain. on average it rains 2 out of 3 days here.

good luck hope it all works out for you.

[ozzieAI]

may your buds grow tall and the sun shine strong....

i still got cyclones circling....so i am a month or so away....if i am lucky....

[ponobegone]

tagged for another great season brah!

[Corpsey]

you are a madman!

good to know im not alone!

looking forward to seeing more madness

[hush]

I enjoyed your last journal, so I'm signing up for this one too.

[Backyard Farmer]

Big up! It was fun to have a session in Oprah's drive way!

[Rusty Trichome]

Bummer about your weather, OH. But it seems your crappy stuff went north of us here in Vegas, and we've been enjoying 70 degree days for a month now. But in all fairness, daylength didn't increase with the good weather, nor did the wind decrease. I did put a GDP outside yesterday, just for giggles-n-grins. A tad early here, but I had an abundance of sexed seedlings, and not enough room indoors. I'm going to have my half of my Nevada limit of adults outside this year. Any tips...? <kidding>

Personally...I run into tollerance issues when I stick with one strain. Get's boring growing the same shit all the time anyway, lol. (and of course...the grass is always greener...)

Do ya think Hawaii will legalize cannabis for recreational before Obama moves there? Just wonderin' where your legislature and their buddies the feds are headed. Any cuts in the GH budget this year? Wishful thinking, huh?

Great idea getting your whining out at the beginning. Cleanses the thread, lol. I'm glad that gardening isn't a team sport. A few years back I was diagnosed with Social Panic Disorder. (social anxieties) Likely I got this disease mainly because most people suck. Anyway...social anxieties seem to be a common affliction these days. Personally...I find it sorta helps ease the anxieties, by charging those people that suck the most, an extra $10.00 a gram. (the "you-suck" surcharge) <kidding>

Best of luck to you, my friend. May the tradewinds bring-in another bountiful season. Did I mention I have a trimming service if it's too much for you to handle...?

[Dirtboy808]

OH Have to say the weather has been good here. Most of it stopped at your house. Not today though raining hard.
Last Thursday I heard that Oh so familiar sound, and got a call from my neighbor and the silver was flying grids up high, Friday I saw them. kind of early. Well this is their last year of power. hope we get another bucket head photo this year lol
Aloha DB

[Casper808]

Cheeee-huuuu. From da slopes af Haleakala .....let's get it started.......dab and flo.