what do U buy a man who is dieing??? - Old Stoners Crash Pad - International Cannagraphic Magazine Forums

**yortbogey** · 10-21-2011, 12:32 PM

OK.... little background....I was luck enuff too marry Canadian...
a wonderful woman that has since forever changed my life...
BLESSED I am....
Over time i have become deeeper and deeeper involved w/ her family..... so fast~forward.... years..... and Now together....
I am helping my wife face the long miserable wasting away....and inevitable DEATH.....of a family member
See her father has stage 3 terminal Cancer in 3 area's of his body... Brain, lung, and back.....he's been fighting a losing battle for over 18 months now...... and has withered away now to almost nothing....barley ABLE to function more than a few hours aday....
Lost more than 100 lbs over that time... and had to have shrunk by @ least 4 inch's in height and stature....old age has gripped him and will not let go...

So as the inevitable approaches and the family ralleys for the last few gatherings and decisions that need to be made....while yet finding the time to embrace god and family together.....the lot of them is unclear in direction and "what next".....
IT's almost like they just hurry up... and wait to see when he will die....

So as the holidays approach and the usual chaos ensues.....
I ask U what kinda gift does a dieing man need other than new life...or hope.... and that can't be bought.....{we tried Vegan juice diets and Hyperbaric medicine, chemo and the lot of it}

which puts me at a loss... for the holidaze.....
what do U gift a 80+ year old dieing man????????????

Useful Idiot · 10-21-2011, 01:43 PM

horrible situation.I would try to help him live. Let me explain, I have learned that close family members are thinking more about a loved one dying,than trying to help them live a bit while they are still alive. Maybe there is a favorite place he liked to go,favorite meals, some trips to the park,i'm grasping at straws,but you understand.My heart goes out to you and yours. Cancer is not nice,I lost two Aunts due to breast cancer,one was like my second mom growin up.Then almost lost my mom to the same cancer. Hope you find a way to help him.

paladin420 · 10-21-2011, 01:50 PM

You give him more of what you all ready hav Sir..Your Love And Respect...Give Him the certain knowledge that his life will go on in his children..That You will do what you can to love and protect them after he is gone...

On another note Sir..Hav try to him take some RS oil caps or edibles...I hav several T patients..They want to kick ther Drs in the nutz for not being on board with somethin that helps give 'Good Days'.....ur pal

stonedar · 10-21-2011, 01:53 PM

I can tell you from personal experience they will appreciate you spending time with them more than anything else.

**yortbogey** · 10-21-2011, 03:11 PM

yes...of course we spend as much time as available..... we live 4 hrz apart....
I'm bringing canna cookies to him this very weekend for the first time in he's life....
and we have decided to focus on the present ....not the what if / when....

BUT still at a loss for gift idea's..... don 't wanna seem trivial w/ just junky disposable giftz....and cant focus on any long term giftz...... but the bathrobe and house slipperz just seems so lack of thought and void of feeling.....

my Quagmyer.....

Headbandf1 · 10-21-2011, 03:35 PM

Find the one toy from his childhood that he never got. Then find it on ebay. It will take his mind back to happier times and I've seen patients outlook improve - dont know why.

CannaBunkerMan · 10-21-2011, 03:40 PM

Give him your time. It's the one thing he doesn't have enough of.

10-21-2011, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonedar

I can tell you from personal experience they will appreciate you spending time with them more than anything else.

This, and audio books. My husband just got me a Vizio Tablet in preparation for a surgery and what will be a protracted recovery. I LOVE THIS THING!!!!! Ebooks, browsing, I can watch movies, it's already made my GPS obsolete, it takes voice commands and can talk to me. Did everything right out of the box, too. A movie service and the audiobook subscription could serve him well.

You can go with the Vizio or a Nook. The Vizio was $250+ tax at Costco.

lost in a sea · 10-21-2011, 04:17 PM

i dont think any possession is worth very much at the tail end of life,,

its very hard,,, anything that will make him more comfortable or functional that he doesnt have,, and just love like usual i guess,,

festivus · 10-21-2011, 05:52 PM

Brother, the only thing you and your family can give him that matters is peace of mind. I've had experience with the final days of a terminal lung cancer patient...he suffered from nightmares of racing around and trying to finish all the work before the end.

If he knows you guys are happy and thriving, it will be one less burden on his mind.

10-21-2011, 12:32 PM	#1
yortbogey To Have More ... Desire Less Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 10,983	what do U buy a man who is dieing??? OK.... little background....I was luck enuff too marry Canadian... a wonderful woman that has since forever changed my life... BLESSED I am.... Over time i have become deeeper and deeeper involved w/ her family..... so fast~forward.... years..... and Now together.... I am helping my wife face the long miserable wasting away....and inevitable DEATH.....of a family member See her father has stage 3 terminal Cancer in 3 area's of his body... Brain, lung, and back.....he's been fighting a losing battle for over 18 months now...... and has withered away now to almost nothing....barley ABLE to function more than a few hours aday.... Lost more than 100 lbs over that time... and had to have shrunk by @ least 4 inch's in height and stature....old age has gripped him and will not let go... So as the inevitable approaches and the family ralleys for the last few gatherings and decisions that need to be made....while yet finding the time to embrace god and family together.....the lot of them is unclear in direction and "what next"..... IT's almost like they just hurry up... and wait to see when he will die.... So as the holidays approach and the usual chaos ensues..... I ask U what kinda gift does a dieing man need other than new life...or hope.... and that can't be bought.....{we tried Vegan juice diets and Hyperbaric medicine, chemo and the lot of it} which puts me at a loss... for the holidaze..... what do U gift a 80+ year old dieing man????????????
	Quote 3 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 01:43 PM	#2
Useful Idiot Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,875	horrible situation.I would try to help him live. Let me explain, I have learned that close family members are thinking more about a loved one dying,than trying to help them live a bit while they are still alive. Maybe there is a favorite place he liked to go,favorite meals, some trips to the park,i'm grasping at straws,but you understand.My heart goes out to you and yours. Cancer is not nice,I lost two Aunts due to breast cancer,one was like my second mom growin up.Then almost lost my mom to the same cancer. Hope you find a way to help him.
	Quote 4 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 01:50 PM	#3
paladin420 FACILITATOR Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Northern Michigan in the toulies!! Posts: 4,401	You give him more of what you all ready hav Sir..Your Love And Respect...Give Him the certain knowledge that his life will go on in his children..That You will do what you can to love and protect them after he is gone... On another note Sir..Hav try to him take some RS oil caps or edibles...I hav several T patients..They want to kick ther Drs in the nutz for not being on board with somethin that helps give 'Good Days'.....ur pal __________________
	Quote 5 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 01:53 PM	#4
stonedar Macro-aggressor Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,187	I can tell you from personal experience they will appreciate you spending time with them more than anything else. __________________ FYI Maxigrow does NOT taste good. That is all. "A bird that always flies in a fog, is called a dingbat." -Archie Bunker, American hero.
	Quote 8 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 03:11 PM	#5
yortbogey To Have More ... Desire Less Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 10,983	yes...of course we spend as much time as available..... we live 4 hrz apart.... I'm bringing canna cookies to him this very weekend for the first time in he's life.... and we have decided to focus on the present ....not the what if / when.... BUT still at a loss for gift idea's..... don 't wanna seem trivial w/ just junky disposable giftz....and cant focus on any long term giftz...... but the bathrobe and house slipperz just seems so lack of thought and void of feeling..... my Quagmyer.....
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 03:35 PM	#6
Headbandf1 Bent Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1,218	Find the one toy from his childhood that he never got. Then find it on ebay. It will take his mind back to happier times and I've seen patients outlook improve - dont know why.
	Quote 4 members found this post helpful.

10-21-2011, 03:40 PM	#7
CannaBunkerMan Enormous Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: North East Posts: 1,253	Give him your time. It's the one thing he doesn't have enough of. __________________ “Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.” – Thomas Jefferson
	Quote

10-21-2011, 04:17 PM	#9
lost in a sea Lifer Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The lighthouse Posts: 9,975	i dont think any possession is worth very much at the tail end of life,, its very hard,,, anything that will make him more comfortable or functional that he doesnt have,, and just love like usual i guess,, __________________ "The kingdom of heaven is within you and without you ; any man who knows himself shall find it"
	Quote

10-21-2011, 05:52 PM	#10
festivus STAY TOASTY MY FRIENDS! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Valley Isle Posts: 2,605	Brother, the only thing you and your family can give him that matters is peace of mind. I've had experience with the final days of a terminal lung cancer patient...he suffered from nightmares of racing around and trying to finish all the work before the end. If he knows you guys are happy and thriving, it will be one less burden on his mind. __________________ Seed Buyers Beware! Don't waste your money on hype. If you have to buy multiple seed packs to find that "keeper", you're getting ripped off. Every female in a pack of seeds should be a keeper! We've been led to believe that lots of variation in a cross is a good thing, because some vendors would rather you buy several packs of their gear, instead of them actually doing the selections to fix that nag champa or golden clit trait themselves. For hobby growers, pheno hunting is fun. But mono-croppers who grow to pay the bills prefer a consistent product that regularly delivers the desired trait package.
	Quote 2 members found this post helpful.