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chuckyoufarley · 10-13-2011, 12:13 AM

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TO WATCH hahahaha

supermanlives · 10-13-2011, 12:21 AM

old but funny

Sam the Caveman · 10-13-2011, 12:21 AM

thats how every thief should be treated

10-13-2011, 01:56 AM

Yeah I find some pretty strange shit on there. Was awesome when the erotic section was still there...used to get a BJ between classes for $30 from a nursing student I met on there. The w4m section is either all SPAM or fat/ugly chicks now. It used to be so good.

resinryder · 10-15-2011, 01:21 PM

Now that's funny as hell.

Islandbud · 10-15-2011, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supermanlives

old but funny

Hey that's what they say about us baby boomers !

Cappy · 10-16-2011, 04:35 AM

Snopes says......

False!

https://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

10-16-2011, 04:49 AM

Ok buying grow equipment on CL can be cheap but the exchange can be awkward and sleazy ...slither out safely homies !!

mrcreosote · 10-26-2011, 02:09 AM

Can't be any worse than buying milk crates full of used dildos...

10-13-2011, 12:13 AM	#1
chuckyoufarley Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: i dont live i exist Posts: 7,439	craigs list AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TO WATCH hahahaha __________________ KEEPEM GREEN-N-GIRLIE PEACE CHUCKY jack & jill went up the hill to score a bag of grass jack was swift & rolled a spliff now he's gettin some ASS i'm never alone even when i'm by myself
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

10-13-2011, 12:21 AM	#3
Sam the Caveman Pimpin witch hoes Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2,368	thats how every thief should be treated __________________ Managing disease in Hydro solutions Stem rot, Sclerotinia life cycle and control methods Asprin kills internal plant virus', fungi and bacteria - Cambridge University
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

10-13-2011, 01:56 AM	#4
h^2 O Guest Posts: n/a	Yeah I find some pretty strange shit on there. Was awesome when the erotic section was still there...used to get a BJ between classes for $30 from a nursing student I met on there. The w4m section is either all SPAM or fat/ugly chicks now. It used to be so good.
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

10-15-2011, 01:21 PM	#5
resinryder Rubbing my glands together Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: In a van down by the river!! Posts: 10,803	Now that's funny as hell. __________________ I'll quit growing my meds the day they rip the bong from my cold dead hands! Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even on a canna board.
	Quote

10-16-2011, 04:35 AM	#7
Cappy Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: USA Posts: 203	Snopes says...... False! https://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp __________________ Formerly Caprichoso
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10-13-2011, 12:21 AM	#2
supermanlives Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: gilligans island Posts: 13,142	old but funny
	Quote

10-16-2011, 04:49 AM	#8
187020 Guest Posts: n/a	Ok buying grow equipment on CL can be cheap but the exchange can be awkward and sleazy ...slither out safely homies !!
	Quote

10-26-2011, 02:09 AM	#9
mrcreosote Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,787	Can't be any worse than buying milk crates full of used dildos...
	Quote