Please Pray For Me - Page 26 - Well Wishes - International Cannagraphic Magazine Forums

hiker · 05-17-2011, 08:49 PM

Hope you are still hanging in there Herbglaze. Stay well.

05-17-2011, 11:25 PM

How's it my brother! Hope all is well.

Stay strong.

Mr. M

HerbGlaze · 03-26-2018, 03:40 AM

Damn created this over several years ago while being strung out at seventeen and now this year I'll be turning twenty five.
Below will be a little history of herbglaze.
Ive was always a little adrenaline junkie from day one. By age four I'd have two sets of stitches due to me seeking a thrill. Got into skateboarding around age ten.. my role models were my father (he's my best friend) and kids older then me. Of course I got into pot at age twelve. Finally "okay", my anxiety and insecurities were finally at bay. Smoked ciggies and drank like a fish. Women really were always my downfall. Lost my "v card"
at age thirteen. Slept around a lot and considered this a right of passage. (looking back at my age today that's absolutely insane!) Eventually tried opiates, two vicodin down the hatch and started chasing that "NOD". Literally felt the presence of God all through my body. Had I arrived? Reborn! I Started stealing oxycodone from my father. Smoking them off foil provided a quick high and snorting them literally all floored me. On my seventeenth birthday I acquired a needle and 4mg of Hydromorphone (DILAUDID), i remember when I finally found a vein. Pushed down into vast feeling of floating around in a dreamy like state between consciousness and nodding into unconsciousness. Was lost after this, I started shooting everything water soluble. Methamphetamine was my demise. Made me turn into a bipolar psychopath. Violent and broken, running on nothing but pure emotion and a head full of the fear that my sanity was forever gone.
I've overdosed from opiates multiple times, hospitalized for drug induced psychosis overs dozen times, been to jail several times, put on probation... had to do mouth to mouth a couple times to save my ex girlfriends life.. I called in a OD and saved her life, was arrested for this and ordered to a program. Fucking hate probation just as much as the next dude does.
Fast to forward today... Five months clean and still feeling the grip of addiction to some extent. Always patiently waiting to take me back. Separated with my ex and she's back in jail. Oh how I fuckin just love codependent drug fueled love!
Still can't shake her, love that girl to death.. RIDE OR DIE!
Just been going to church and smoking hell of herb. Constantly surrounded by my family here in Oregon so.. Can't complain, I'm absolutely blessed. Not a statistic I'm Brendan.

yesum · 03-26-2018, 09:11 AM

Hope you can make it thru now. You might have a new start as the brain finishes maturing at your age.

Green guy · 03-26-2018, 09:22 AM

By writing here you are already doing well, I hope get better soon

JustSumTomatoes · 03-26-2018, 09:57 AM

Wishing you only the best on your quest through recovery. I have lost relationships and had people I know die from drugs. I'm sure you know better than anyone that the impact it causes is very real.

LoungeLizard · 03-26-2018, 09:59 AM

G-D Bless You for peace and great health

AgentPothead · 03-26-2018, 10:00 AM

I don't have anything constructive to add but I am glad you are doing good bro.

CosmicGiggle · 03-26-2018, 04:22 PM

Welcome back Brendan, it's good to see yer doing so well!

armedoldhippy · 03-26-2018, 06:31 PM

letting anything take control must be the most terrifying thing to happen to a person. i hope you can withstand the desire to give in to that which wants to control you. best wishes to you...

05-17-2011, 08:49 PM	#251
hiker Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: hopefully where karma can find me Posts: 947	Hope you are still hanging in there Herbglaze. Stay well. __________________ BE PART OF THE SOLUTION NOT THE PROBLEM GROW FOR FUN FAMILY AND FRIENDS NOT FOR PROFIT
	Quote

05-17-2011, 11:25 PM	#252
Mr. Mountain Guest Posts: n/a	How's it my brother! Hope all is well. Stay strong. Mr. M
	Quote

03-26-2018, 03:40 AM	#253
HerbGlaze Eugene Oregon Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,611	Damn created this over several years ago while being strung out at seventeen and now this year I'll be turning twenty five. Below will be a little history of herbglaze. Ive was always a little adrenaline junkie from day one. By age four I'd have two sets of stitches due to me seeking a thrill. Got into skateboarding around age ten.. my role models were my father (he's my best friend) and kids older then me. Of course I got into pot at age twelve. Finally "okay", my anxiety and insecurities were finally at bay. Smoked ciggies and drank like a fish. Women really were always my downfall. Lost my "v card" at age thirteen. Slept around a lot and considered this a right of passage. (looking back at my age today that's absolutely insane!) Eventually tried opiates, two vicodin down the hatch and started chasing that "NOD". Literally felt the presence of God all through my body. Had I arrived? Reborn! I Started stealing oxycodone from my father. Smoking them off foil provided a quick high and snorting them literally all floored me. On my seventeenth birthday I acquired a needle and 4mg of Hydromorphone (DILAUDID), i remember when I finally found a vein. Pushed down into vast feeling of floating around in a dreamy like state between consciousness and nodding into unconsciousness. Was lost after this, I started shooting everything water soluble. Methamphetamine was my demise. Made me turn into a bipolar psychopath. Violent and broken, running on nothing but pure emotion and a head full of the fear that my sanity was forever gone. I've overdosed from opiates multiple times, hospitalized for drug induced psychosis overs dozen times, been to jail several times, put on probation... had to do mouth to mouth a couple times to save my ex girlfriends life.. I called in a OD and saved her life, was arrested for this and ordered to a program. Fucking hate probation just as much as the next dude does. Fast to forward today... Five months clean and still feeling the grip of addiction to some extent. Always patiently waiting to take me back. Separated with my ex and she's back in jail. Oh how I fuckin just love codependent drug fueled love! Still can't shake her, love that girl to death.. RIDE OR DIE! Just been going to church and smoking hell of herb. Constantly surrounded by my family here in Oregon so.. Can't complain, I'm absolutely blessed. Not a statistic I'm Brendan.
	Quote 8 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 09:11 AM	#254
yesum IC Mag Supporter Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 3,397	Hope you can make it thru now. You might have a new start as the brain finishes maturing at your age.
	Quote 2 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 09:22 AM	#255
Green guy Newbie Join Date: Feb 2018 Location: South Africa Posts: 8	By writing here you are already doing well, I hope get better soon
	Quote 2 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 09:57 AM	#256
JustSumTomatoes Member Join Date: Oct 2015 Posts: 213	Wishing you only the best on your quest through recovery. I have lost relationships and had people I know die from drugs. I'm sure you know better than anyone that the impact it causes is very real.
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 09:59 AM	#257
LoungeLizard Newbie Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: Israel Posts: 1	G-D Bless You for peace and great health
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 10:00 AM	#258
AgentPothead Member Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: Grassachusetts Posts: 568	I don't have anything constructive to add but I am glad you are doing good bro. __________________ You may not vote on any more threads today. Don't sweat the technique.
	Quote 1 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 04:22 PM	#259
CosmicGiggle Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Billy Graham Traing Center Posts: 1,822	Welcome back Brendan, it's good to see yer doing so well!
	Quote 2 members found this post helpful.

03-26-2018, 06:31 PM	#260
armedoldhippy Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee, hell yeah! Posts: 5,155	letting anything take control must be the most terrifying thing to happen to a person. i hope you can withstand the desire to give in to that which wants to control you. best wishes to you... __________________ smoking more pot is NOT the answer to my problems. my problem is that i need more problems that smoking more pot IS the answer to...
	Quote 3 members found this post helpful.