[Moonshine*]

Just checking in with everyone and giving ya'll the update. I had my blood test last Friday, I have my CT&PET scan on Wed. Then see the Oncologist on Friday. This is my schedule for the next 5 years every 3 months. Fingers are crossed. Have a feeling every thing is gonna be clear and clean but damn its STRESSFUL. Wasnt even thinking about it until Thursday. Just knowing i have an pretty huge chance of developing something else is just scary and I do better not thinking about it, gotta stay busy.

The one good thing I can say having cancer did for me (besides stripping off 50 lbs) is it brought a bunch of old friends back into my life that I probbably wouldnt have had contact with otherwise.

Going to take a week vacation with the family at the end of the of the month and Im looking forward to it. I didnt celebrate Christmas or My birthday this year since I was going through all the crap around those times but Im feeling pretty healthy and got a bit of the zip back in my step so Im gonna do my best to just chill, relax and enjoy being with the family.

Ive gotten my pain issues under control it seems. Only real thing Im still dealing with is some pretty serious Depression. I can put on the happy face to the point no one knows. But Im finding it better to just tell people what Im going through, when asked.

My kids are great, I have a wonderful wife, work opportunity before me is a dream, my health is getting better BUT I still cant shake the fact I went through hell this year. Ive never once in my life thought about suicide, but in the last 6 months I cant tell you how many times Ive asked a greater power to just end my suffering. Ive talked with the cancer shrinks and trying to talk with friends or family only adds another level of worry or stress onto them so at this point Im going to just let you guys in on what Im feeling and if ya'll can help or add advice then I appreciate it greatly.

Garden is ripping. Ive seen some crazy ass warehouse in the last few months. I know of 1000-1500 1K lights total in a few spots at this point and I just heard of a 2000K grow that is being built. Shit is getting CRAZY.

[Irie_Lion]

Thanks for the update Moonshine*....glad to hear that things are looking positive and heading in the right direction. I get what you mean bout talkin to your family n close friends about your issues will only bring stress into their lives as well but its good to have some outlet to express yourself even if it is here with us I can't offer you much advice on what your goin thru at this point but I'm here to support your in anyway I can even if its just thru simple conversation! Hope u have a nice time on your vacation soon....as always I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending good vibez your way!

Jah Bless

[Cloneman]

In ’97 i had a nervous breakdown, caused by a few things, my wife getting over cancer for 4 years, work and so on, all little bricks building until they toppled. That day she was going back to work, i had a cold which made me down, I said to her I’m not going back to work and i never did. So after 6 months paid sick leave i became self employed.
When i have a cold or a virus that’s when the Black dog comes to town and there is nothing anybody can do for me when that indescribable black cloud comes over me.
I talked to a lot of friends about how it affected me, the women became more friendlier as all these innermost feelings came out,cos us men are useless at that sort of thing.
People say pull yourself out of it, well i am sorry that doesn’t work, when all you want is it to go away before you do something drastic to make it go away forever.

I feel for you mate

Have a great vacation

Oh yeah i was 60 the other day!

[Moonshine*]

Happy Late B-Day C-Man....

Irie Lion, much respect, brotha.....

[aligee]

good luck to you bro i just lost a friend to cancer this past week hope everything works out for you !

[Moonshine*]

Drinkin my Barium this morning for the CT scan. YummY! Berry Flavored chalky mil o magnesia flavor....mmmm mmmm.

[Irie_Lion]

Sayin a lil prayer and sending Good vibez your way bro Moonshine.....hope all tests/scans come back clean!

[Babbabud]

Nam myoho renge kyo

[monkey5]

Moonshine, Keep staying possitive brother! I have a friend who beat his cancer! He did the full on treatment! He then had 7 strokes, too! I was there for his first stroke! He had the rest hooked up to the machines at the hospital! He has since come back and is working again! You can do it brother! Sending much possitive energy your way my friend! monkey5

[zenoonez]

Having been talking to you this last couple of weeks I had no idea the path had been so hard. I have seen my fair share of friends and family deal with cancer and all I can say is that I am glad the prognosis is good for you. Just make sure if you notice anything different that you get in to the docs as fast as you can and always remain vigilant. I wish I had better words to give you or something more to say, but suffice it to say that there are plenty of people here who are sending good wishes and all the karma we can spare your way. Keep your chin up, your family close and your friends just as close. Best wishes and good luck.