[@b$+r@c+]

I know this isnt matchdotcom but bear with me!
I got a question for all you ladies out there...growers or not.

I have refused to even try and find that 'special someone' for the last 4-5 yrs and I'm starting to get a little lonely. Here's the deal:

The cons are:
-I'm horrible with 'small-talk'.
-I know I still have trust issues with people in general.
-I grow...and refuse to lie. I can bend the truth a bit, but not straight up lie
-I'm often percieved as shy, but those who know, strive for my level of true self-confidence.

The pros are:
-I'm kindhearted.
-Good looking.
-Intelligent.
-Financially stable.
-Honest and respectful.
Basically all the qualities women CLAIM they're looking for in a man. So much so, I've been literally stalked and sought after, by each of my ex's except 1 or 2 (out of 6-8)

...The question?...How does a reclusive grower date, without blowing up his spot, and still be honest with his date?

Even if I didnt grow, I have a hard time sparking up small talk so the greenery has REALLY impeded the process!

ANY advice could potentially improve my life, so please, tell me what ya think!?! Thanks for your time and forum space!

[Abja Roots]

I met my girl in school in a plant nutrition class. She was impressed that I knew so much about plants etc....It didn't take her long to figure something was up when we started dating. I didn't have her over for 6 months. She asked if I lived with my mom....I told her I wished )

I liked that there was no pressure. I was there because I was truly interested in the class and so was she. It just so happened that we really got along. So take a cooking class, music class, plant class. Whatever you like. Do the things you like (besides staying home and getting irie. Which I love to do myself), and you might get lucky and meet someone awesome.

It's hard to date "safely". I didn't date for 7 years because of this. It was a good choice because it helped me become more conscious about myself and improve the person I was. It was time to meet someone and I'm glad I did. I would just do simple things and try not to talk about work. We went to see some shows, and hung out with other people from the class. Which made it mellow. Beer after class, or study sessions (not that I needed it too much. More so a good reason to see her).

Sometimes you'll wish it was like it was before you met her, but that's life. The grass always seems greener on the other side. In our cases it's just on the other side of the door usually

Best of Luck

Sorry if I'm rambling. Typing this while waiting for rez's seed drop.

[TwoOhSix!]

Don't grow where you live. Otherwise sooner or later they'll find out. This is a risk that some people take and you have to judge for yourself whether or not it's worth it.

[dank.frank]

Same issue. Was single for 2.5 years, after a relationship that failed some what as a result of my general "love" of cannabis....long story short, I find myself newly involved.

I'm honest...don't lie. When asked, I simply was honest about my work. I am self employed and due to certain personal and professional reasons consider it to be off topic with someone I am just getting to know....

THAT is being honest.


dank.Frank

[SGMeds]

Moving to a medi state seems to make it easier to be in the open about.


BUT, not growing where you live makes it sooooo much easier. 206 mentioned this, but this is even if you openly tell them what you do... just not where.

[V1AAA]

with regards to having people round your grow place (if its where you live)

its not hard to hide, or to keep a grow under lock and key

a certain individual i use to know used to have his landlord, family, friends over and they were none the wiser.

build a room within a room. or a stealth cab would do just fine

an attic grow would be another example.

another friend of mine hid it from his mrs for years. now she helps trim, and does some driving with equipment, or soil, nutes, etc

and she totally respects him for waiting til they had a certain amount of trust. he dont trust nobody. he was even funny with me for a while.

[@b$+r@c+]

Thanks for your responses!

Abja Roots: Your absolutely right about taking classes...it's one of the ways (I think) for me to achieve a relevent light-hearted conversation based on common interests. And, the part about getting to know YOURSELF better was actually how this all began! I knew I needed to become a better man, if I were to ever find a better woman. Looking back,...DAMN was I co-dependant! What a fool I was!...lol

twoOhSix: Where I do my thing isnt really an issue, although it could be for some. Thanks for your opinion.

dank.frank: I like the honest yet evasive manner in which you make this point. I may even use (close to) your words some day! Wouldnt a girl automatically be SUPER intrigued into what you do for a living though? When imaginations are inspired, they almost always run wild!

SGmeds: I'ts not so much laws, but social understanding/acceptance that will 'mask' the type of woman I'm looking for. I have to admit, I'm not looking for an easily noticed pot head chic.

V1AAA: Growing where I live is not an issue, but your advice may likely help someone else, so thanks for your input. It's all sound advice IMO.

I'll figure this thing out...just a matter of time, of which we all have very little!

Again, I appreciate everyones thoughts. They are a demonstration of kind hearts and goodwill!

[hotmellons]

I date grower an lots of lady come around and make me mad

[s13sr20det]

you've got to ask yourself what would yummybud do in this situation?

[Abja Roots]

Now that my girl knows. The only thing she is jealous of is all the girls in my room.

I actually told her she had to make peace with them and tell them that they were #1. Not me, not her, but them.

Respect on seeing the co-dependency as being unhealthy. As well as wanting to be better for you and for her. I have no doubt that if you meet the right woman. You and her will be very lucky and grateful for each other.