[babbit]

I found this little gem, I thought this would be a good home for it.

All humans, mice, puppets, and DEA Agents living, dead, or in coma, are strictly fictitious and any resemblance to real people is entirely coincidental.

Several dozen mourners were arrested on charges ranging from possession to being chronically ill without a plan.

Written By Bob Arbogast
(aka Dr. Jay Cavanaugh PhD)
posted at DrugWar.com Dec. 11, 2002

Fans expecting that beloved Stuart Little would receive a gracious send off were shocked at the pandemonium that occurred at his memorial services this afternoon at the Hollywood Holy Hills Memorial Chapel.

Readers may remember that Stuart died tragically when he made an unauthorized exit from his private jet on the way from Burbank to the Gary Condit Plaza Mall in Fresno, California. Federal drug agents claimed Stuart was probably demented from his use of medical marijuana at the time of the accident and they suspected that Stuart was continuing his marijuana addiction even after death. Federal authorities refused comment on Stuart's use of government marijuana.

Stuart's Memorial service started sedately with tributes to Stuart from some of Hollywood's greats including Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr., as Charlie Chaplin, Kermit of Muppet fame, and a sad and bloated Elizabeth Taylor. Rock giant Elton John sang "Candles in the Wind" while thousands of Stuart's fans lit butane lighters in time with the music. The sweet smell of Skunk #1 wafted through the grief stricken and adoring crowd. A video presentation of Stuart's artistic accomplishments was present by Magic Screen with musical accompaniment by the Kotton Mouth Kings.

Thirty minutes into the service agents from the Drug Enforcement Administration arrived in a number of late model black Suburban vehicles. The team was personally led by DEA Chief Asa Hutchinson who served a search warrant signed by recent Bush appointee, Judge Lance Ito. Agents ordered the crowd quiet and temporarily handcuffed Stuart's pall bearers singling out the aged Pookie of Soupy Sales fame for special attention as Stuart's alleged marijuana connection. Pookie was wrestled to the ground and a body search conducted in view of horrified mourners.

Agents then proceeded to unseal Stuart's coffin and search for a reported stash of medical marijuana that friends had allegedly placed to guide Stuart on his journey in the afterlife. Agents found no marijuana whatsoever in the coffin but confiscated Stuart's Jack Herer pipe and a plentiful supply of copper pipe screens and collector editions of High Times. Agents then began to search the crowd for contraband.

Outraged mourners attacked the DEA raiding party pelting them at first with flowers and jeers. The mood turned ugly and a full scale brawl ensured. Federal agents called a tactical alert. Several agents succumbed to repeated blows from Stuart's faithful fans. Four hundred and twenty mourners were injured in the melee along with at least a dozen Federal agents, two of whom were treated for acute marijuana intoxication following their search of the Kotton Mouth Kings front man, Daddy X. Federal agents released VX gas on the unruly crowd and fired a number of rounds from their automatic weapons killing Pookie outright and severely wounding Los Angeles Police Chief Bratton, a known supporter of medical marijuana. Several dozen mourners were arrested on charges ranging from possession to being chronically ill without a plan. Forty-five seriously injured mourners were transported to Glendale Adventist Hospital where they were treated, fed mushroom tacos, and remain in serious but stable condition except for an understandable stomach upset.

White Fang, representative for Pookie, stated that a wrongful death suit was being prepared for the carnage visited upon his old friend. Critically ill Chief Bratton remained in a coma at nearby Little Mary of Atwater Memorial Hospital. Local medical cannabis activists established a protective cordon around Bratton's room fearing DEA retaliation. Bratton is expected to survive the assault.

As we see below, Stuart began his journey to the great beyond in great trepidation and in anxiety over the terror visited upon his faithful minions. Is Stuart sailing to Valhalla or just running from a cruel government?


https://www.drugwar.com/mouseriot.shtm

[omega7]

Perfect place for it....Thanks DR Jay for leaving such a great story and Babbit for bringing it to us!

[Rodriguez]

**Federal drug agents claimed Stuart was probably demented from his use of medical marijuana at the time of the accident and they suspected that Stuart was continuing his marijuana addiction even after death.**

hehe laughing after death aswell as smoking after death, way to go Dr Jay