The Ol'Mother And Daughter Cliche' - Women's Forum - International Cannagraphic Magazine Forums

SkyRose · 06-17-2005, 02:16 AM

My daughter turned 18 a while ago now and the other night we had a major blow out.

Yes, she still lives under my roof and I have set the ground rules, but she has not been following them and there's been alot of lying. I really hate using the phrase "As long as you're under my roof, it's my way or you can get out!!", because the normal response would be, "OK, I'm leaving then". Needless to say, that was the response I got. Personally, I don't think she's ready for the real world and still has a lot to learn and I pretty much let her do what she wants, because I figure the best way to learn life, is to live it.

(whisper,whisper) What's that?

(whisper,whisper) Yes, she's 18.

(whisper,whisper) Come again?

(whisper,whisper) Well I guess you're right, I don't look that old. :wink:

Anyway......the other night......
Words were said, things were thrown and everybody else headed for the hills

It was pretty bad. This is not fun for me and it's getting harder to deal with.
Any thoughts, opinions, advice --- would be very nice.

Yes, I've been rolling quite a few fatty's lately

......

06-17-2005, 02:27 AM

she is still to young to hit the road. Take the family somewhere on vaction that she will not say no to, treate her equal and when you get her lossened up (after a few days), talk through your issues and come to a mutal agreement on the future. Thats the only advice i can give, i hope it helps.

06-17-2005, 04:42 PM

WoW honey.... Those are the days that I am not looking forward to at all... However I have surely been on the other end of the spectrum with the Mother-Daughter thing... I do know this, No matter what you cannot break that Mother-Daughter bond, it's always there... My Mother didn't raise me all the time and even as bad as I wanted to hate her growing up, she was still my Mother and there is a bond there.

How do you let your baby go out into the world, when there is so much hurt and bad people out there....Scares the shit out'a me... and I have a boy. SO with a girl, OM gosh SkyRose, very nerve racking I am sure... Where is she going? Is it a guy? Is it curfew? The lying would get me too! I don't put up with that crap, but still I wouldn't know how to stop it, if it starts... (and I am sure, it will at some time)

BUT! You and I both know she will need you...
and I guess, we as parents just have to be there when they do screw up and need us

and Lord No!
you don't look old enough to have a daughter that old! My goodness, how did that happen?

Hang in there Hun

ms.G

06-17-2005, 05:01 PM

Babe,
Yeah I got an Idea,always worked for dad,A good old fashioned ASS BEATING

and then lay the law down,Momma once told me,if ya live under my roof it's my law,WHY is that so hard to do?She does nothing but lie,constantly,repeatedly,and without reservation.How many time can we find all this shit out and not do nothing about it?Of course its a dude,of course shes sexually active,of course shes smokin and jokin,thats what kids do,we did it rite,but the big dif is kids today dont have to pay for there actions.They got parents who did all these things too and HAD to tuff it outdoors and dont want to see there kids go thru it.I say fuck that,Ya gotta love your kids but ya dont have to put up with abuse,beat the shit outta her and throw her out the door,In life there are rules and there are consequinces,And of course she isnt ready for the world,were WE!Stop playin pity-pat its gettin on my nerves time for some tuff love,she'll be back once she see's the world for the rock it is,Unfortunately for you,ya cant START discipline at 18,for 6 years I been watchin and seein for what it is,you choose to ignore my thoughts on it cause they seem a little caluss to you,it causes nothing but arguments,I aint tryin to tell you how to raise your kid,THATS OVER,rite or wrong your job is done,shes soooo smart.....cut the string and wait for the grandkid I dont want,or BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HER AND LAY THE LAW DOWN!
see ya later

unless its fite nite then i'm stayin home!

Jenna · 06-17-2005, 05:37 PM

Daughters! <sigh> Sorry you are going through this SkyRose. My daughter is 17. All the rites, none of the responsibility.. that's pretty much what they want. Course that's what I want too but it didn't work out that way. Little girls can be the snottiest things on the planet. This is how things work in my world with my daughter. I couldn't imagine having the following conversation with my mom.. at 30, I was still waiting for the "sex" talk! LOL

Instilled values and morals. (I thought) Honesty is huge for me and in order to get honesty.. I had to relax. <She only became real honest when I stop mothering her decisions>

"Hey Mom.. doing "mush" tonight." <statement at breakfast>

"Mush? What the heck is Mush?"

"Mushrooms Mom."

"Mush? Shrooms you mean?"

"Yes Mother" < eyes rolling cuz Mom is so dense>

"Oh. Kewl.. Where? With who? Where ya getting it? need a ride?"<tempted to say over my dead body.. you are just a baby.. but I hold my tongue... k, I bite it>

She answers all my questions.. I tell her to be safe, and not to overdo. She calls during the evening and tells me the highlights. <she's ok.. i can breathe again> I remind her about her curfew and that I will be waiting up. She comes home on time and discusses her evening. She talks about two friends, one is on "E" and another does "Meth" regularly. All of a sudden, Shrooms don't seem so bad. She was given the option of doing "E" and "Meth". It was her decision, not mine and the kiddo chose "mush".

My job? Keep her breathin. Cover her butt if she really screws up, love her. The rest will take care of itself.

Not alot of advice in this post! Just thought I would share. If you figure out the answers SkyRose, let me know. I have 4 more daughters aging as we speak!

Jenna

**Babbabud** · 06-17-2005, 05:45 PM

We started smoking pot with our daughter when she graduated high school ... since then we have become buddies and share almost everything... we treat her as an equal and she acts like an adult. We helped her get her medical recommendation and its like having another best friend

Since we have learned to share pot together it seems we have learned to share many other things including mutual respect. Im not saying we should all smoke pot with our kids ... my son doesnt smoke at all ....but for sure we need to find something to mutually share and it will bring us together

Let your kids know they are good humans

SkyRose · 06-17-2005, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Grat3ful

How do you let your baby go out into the world, when there is so much hurt and bad people out there.... Scares the shit out'a me...

Scares the shit out'a me, also, and I don't want to send her out there. I always tell her that the world is a lot tougher than following a few ground rules that mom has set. I can only hope that she is really listening and heeding my advice.

OMG Jenna. And I thought I had my hands full. But, glad to hear she made the better choice. Can only hope my daughter will do the same.
Not sure if there is any right answers, but if I find one, I will let ya know. Good Luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babbabud

We started smoking pot with our daughter

She does smoke, but I haven't brought myself to smokin' with her yet. I've been thinking about it, lately and I might have to try it. Maybe it will make us buds, also.

06-17-2005, 11:54 PM

She's 18 ? Thats legal send her out here to me in So Cal I'll keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe

Please send her ASAP

These dishes are stackin up and the laundry needs doin.

cough_cough_eer · 06-18-2005, 04:22 AM

yeah, I too was on the other end of that spectrum. I moved out when I was 18, (becouse I was grounded and had plans for that weekend)Got me an apartment and got a taste of the real world.For the most part , it was a good experience, but I soon found out I couldn't afford to buy things or go out anymore. But maybe,let her get an apartment(provided shes not movin in with a boy) and let her work 2 jobs and see the stack of bills with her name on them.(ever notice your bills have the same "gettin in trouble name "that your mom called you when you were in big trouble)Let her find out how filling a mustard sandwich can be.

Good luck with her Skyrose, Im sure she will be just fine.

06-18-2005, 06:28 AM

Mustard Sandwhich

Why i could live for a month on a jar of peanut Butter

06-17-2005, 02:16 AM	#1
SkyRose Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: See That Mountain Over There... Posts: 65	The Ol'Mother And Daughter Cliche' My daughter turned 18 a while ago now and the other night we had a major blow out. Yes, she still lives under my roof and I have set the ground rules, but she has not been following them and there's been alot of lying. I really hate using the phrase "As long as you're under my roof, it's my way or you can get out!!", because the normal response would be, "OK, I'm leaving then". Needless to say, that was the response I got. Personally, I don't think she's ready for the real world and still has a lot to learn and I pretty much let her do what she wants, because I figure the best way to learn life, is to live it. (whisper,whisper) What's that? (whisper,whisper) Yes, she's 18. (whisper,whisper) Come again? (whisper,whisper) Well I guess you're right, I don't look that old. :wink: Anyway......the other night...... Words were said, things were thrown and everybody else headed for the hills It was pretty bad. This is not fun for me and it's getting harder to deal with. Any thoughts, opinions, advice --- would be very nice. Yes, I've been rolling quite a few fatty's lately ...... __________________ To Err Is Human, But Isn't It Divine
	Quote

06-17-2005, 05:45 PM	#6
Babbabud Bodhisattva of the Earth Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: N. Cal Posts: 9,535	We started smoking pot with our daughter when she graduated high school ... since then we have become buddies and share almost everything... we treat her as an equal and she acts like an adult. We helped her get her medical recommendation and its like having another best friend Since we have learned to share pot together it seems we have learned to share many other things including mutual respect. Im not saying we should all smoke pot with our kids ... my son doesnt smoke at all ....but for sure we need to find something to mutually share and it will bring us together Let your kids know they are good humans __________________ (Medical Patient In Compliance) Nam myoho renge kyo !! Mugi wasshin your bud babba Peace/ Be here now Babba's Farm L.L.C.
	Quote

06-18-2005, 04:22 AM	#9
cough_cough_eer Anita Bonghitt Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,937	yeah, I too was on the other end of that spectrum. I moved out when I was 18, (becouse I was grounded and had plans for that weekend)Got me an apartment and got a taste of the real world.For the most part , it was a good experience, but I soon found out I couldn't afford to buy things or go out anymore. But maybe,let her get an apartment(provided shes not movin in with a boy) and let her work 2 jobs and see the stack of bills with her name on them.(ever notice your bills have the same "gettin in trouble name "that your mom called you when you were in big trouble)Let her find out how filling a mustard sandwich can be. Good luck with her Skyrose, Im sure she will be just fine. __________________ ~The Avatar Thread~ Why is it that rich people are concidered eccentric and poor people are just wierd????
	Quote

06-17-2005, 02:27 AM	#2
Guest Guest Posts: n/a	she is still to young to hit the road. Take the family somewhere on vaction that she will not say no to, treate her equal and when you get her lossened up (after a few days), talk through your issues and come to a mutal agreement on the future. Thats the only advice i can give, i hope it helps.
	Quote

06-17-2005, 04:42 PM	#3
Guest Guest Posts: n/a	WoW honey.... Those are the days that I am not looking forward to at all... However I have surely been on the other end of the spectrum with the Mother-Daughter thing... I do know this, No matter what you cannot break that Mother-Daughter bond, it's always there... My Mother didn't raise me all the time and even as bad as I wanted to hate her growing up, she was still my Mother and there is a bond there. How do you let your baby go out into the world, when there is so much hurt and bad people out there....Scares the shit out'a me... and I have a boy. SO with a girl, OM gosh SkyRose, very nerve racking I am sure... Where is she going? Is it a guy? Is it curfew? The lying would get me too! I don't put up with that crap, but still I wouldn't know how to stop it, if it starts... (and I am sure, it will at some time) BUT! You and I both know she will need you... and I guess, we as parents just have to be there when they do screw up and need us and Lord No! you don't look old enough to have a daughter that old! My goodness, how did that happen? Hang in there Hun ms.G
	Quote

06-17-2005, 05:01 PM	#4
Guest Guest Posts: n/a	Babe, Yeah I got an Idea,always worked for dad,A good old fashioned ASS BEATING and then lay the law down,Momma once told me,if ya live under my roof it's my law,WHY is that so hard to do?She does nothing but lie,constantly,repeatedly,and without reservation.How many time can we find all this shit out and not do nothing about it?Of course its a dude,of course shes sexually active,of course shes smokin and jokin,thats what kids do,we did it rite,but the big dif is kids today dont have to pay for there actions.They got parents who did all these things too and HAD to tuff it outdoors and dont want to see there kids go thru it.I say fuck that,Ya gotta love your kids but ya dont have to put up with abuse,beat the shit outta her and throw her out the door,In life there are rules and there are consequinces,And of course she isnt ready for the world,were WE!Stop playin pity-pat its gettin on my nerves time for some tuff love,she'll be back once she see's the world for the rock it is,Unfortunately for you,ya cant START discipline at 18,for 6 years I been watchin and seein for what it is,you choose to ignore my thoughts on it cause they seem a little caluss to you,it causes nothing but arguments,I aint tryin to tell you how to raise your kid,THATS OVER,rite or wrong your job is done,shes soooo smart.....cut the string and wait for the grandkid I dont want,or BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HER AND LAY THE LAW DOWN! see ya later unless its fite nite then i'm stayin home!
	Quote

06-17-2005, 05:37 PM	#5
Jenna Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 400	Daughters! <sigh> Sorry you are going through this SkyRose. My daughter is 17. All the rites, none of the responsibility.. that's pretty much what they want. Course that's what I want too but it didn't work out that way. Little girls can be the snottiest things on the planet. This is how things work in my world with my daughter. I couldn't imagine having the following conversation with my mom.. at 30, I was still waiting for the "sex" talk! LOL Instilled values and morals. (I thought) Honesty is huge for me and in order to get honesty.. I had to relax. <She only became real honest when I stop mothering her decisions> "Hey Mom.. doing "mush" tonight." <statement at breakfast> "Mush? What the heck is Mush?" "Mushrooms Mom." "Mush? Shrooms you mean?" "Yes Mother" < eyes rolling cuz Mom is so dense> "Oh. Kewl.. Where? With who? Where ya getting it? need a ride?"<tempted to say over my dead body.. you are just a baby.. but I hold my tongue... k, I bite it> She answers all my questions.. I tell her to be safe, and not to overdo. She calls during the evening and tells me the highlights. <she's ok.. i can breathe again> I remind her about her curfew and that I will be waiting up. She comes home on time and discusses her evening. She talks about two friends, one is on "E" and another does "Meth" regularly. All of a sudden, Shrooms don't seem so bad. She was given the option of doing "E" and "Meth". It was her decision, not mine and the kiddo chose "mush". My job? Keep her breathin. Cover her butt if she really screws up, love her. The rest will take care of itself. Not alot of advice in this post! Just thought I would share. If you figure out the answers SkyRose, let me know. I have 4 more daughters aging as we speak! Jenna
	Quote

06-17-2005, 11:54 PM	#8
Guest Guest Posts: n/a	She's 18 ? Thats legal send her out here to me in So Cal I'll keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe Please send her ASAP These dishes are stackin up and the laundry needs doin.
	Quote

06-18-2005, 06:28 AM	#10
Guest Guest Posts: n/a	Mustard Sandwhich Why i could live for a month on a jar of peanut Butter
	Quote