Lordy Dr. D...make sure she don't smoke sativas...


Ms. G.... HUGS!

EXACTLY!!!

cause, watch out when I DO


and Blue, you already know I'm kinda high strung anyway, LOL... Huggs



speakin' of which I have got to get up off my lil' arse and do something! C-ya'll laterZ

[BushyOldGrower]

Blue, maybe I think like you say women think.

I am a talker guy too though and I think in abstract term while mrs. bog is more focused on tasks. So most women and men are that way but not on the abstract thinking. That is like saying men are dumber cause abstract thinking requires more intelligence.

But you know women are smart and usually more communicative with each other. However that doesnt mean they get along better than men. I worked with women in a hospital for many years and I shared all their conversations and concerns. We were always a team and in that setting we saw through the bullshit. The women there were very pragmatic. Its really individuality of personality types. I believe we all reincarnate in many lives as both men and women.

They have found differences in our brains and we are geared to different roles for survival I am certain so some is in the DNA but that physical only and not spirit so each sex can be either way. Dumb or smart. Communicative or non communicative and stoic. Often men dont show their feelings as openly and perhaps its our culture that required us to have egos. BOG


You can all see mine.

Blue, maybe I think like you say women think.

BOGgy, that statement after seeing you invite Fredster to slow dance and nibble on his ear has me extremely worried....

Hey my missus can talk underwater,with two bricks in her mouth !!! Why use ten words when 2,000 can surfice!. But,hey I'm not perfect either and I do love her to bits!!

A 'what woman want' folder i keep:wink:

your kidding right

Do men and women talk together? If men talk to men, and women talk to women, can they talk to each other?


Men Talk -- Women Talk
But Do They Talk Together

A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"
"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.

The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?

Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.

As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.

Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.
Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:
Status vs. Support.

Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.

Independence vs. Intimacy.
Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.

Advice vs. Understanding.

For many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. When men thought they are reassuring, often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.
Information vs. Feelings.

A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.

Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."

All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.

Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.

Orders vs. Proposals.

Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."
This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.

With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.

Conflict vs. Compromise.

In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.

When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me”.

Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.

When men get together, they rarely, if ever, talk about their feelings or inner thoughts. Rather, they talk about practical matters, like their latest computer update, how to repair their car, or even business.
Talk might move to the best place to find fish or women, jump to computer games, then continue to the Cowboys or the sport of the season.
They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Men rarely call each other to chat and be brought up to date.

When man meets woman, he usually wants to make a good impression. Many single men try hard to carry on witty, fun, and pleasant conversations. They use conversation to discover her interests and feelings in order to learn how to be attractive to her.

Some men, either out of nervousness or ignorance, spend most of the time talking about themselves, often appearing to brag about their achievements or talk incessantly about their problems or work. But regardless of the subject matter, even the quietest man talks to his woman when love is new.

When women get together, they talk about feelings and relationships, their work, and their family. They enjoy talking but also want the give and take of talk, then listen.

Women often call each other to keep up to date. Conversing is an important part of most female's lives.

As relationships progress, however, many a man turns on the television and forgets how to converse. This raises a hue and cry from his female partner who says, "You never talk to me anymore."

Some men start talking. Many, however, primarily discuss their own achievements and problems or even revert to their male buddy kind of talk.
When the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects: feelings, family, relationships, friends, her work, many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves.

Pretty soon, the man is back to staring at the television each night, wondering where his relationship went, or too dense to know it is dying. The woman is talking to her friends, mom, sister, or neighbor, often about that very relationship and how she is hurting.

Where is your relationship?
º º º º º
I overheard two women chatting in the market. One asked the other, "Does your husband talk to you?" Her companion answered: "Of course he talks; he has to ask me what's for dinner, doesn't he?"

I totally understand where they are coming from. Most men have a hard time communicating anything that remotely resembles an emotion. Why? Because emotions are scary to men, who think much more than they feel and, much of the time, many men don't even know what or how they are feeling.
It is interesting to note that, physiologically, women think and feel at the same time, while men can only think or feel. And based on most men's reluctance to embrace their feminine sides, it's no wonder they do their level best to stay in their heads.

Guys figure that once they have said the fateful words "I love you" and the relationship is in full swing, there are only three reasons to have a real conversation: sex, money and breaking up.

So when a woman wants to talk, and the guy realizes he has to think and feel at the same time, just the idea becomes a challenge. So it's easy to understand why men have a harder time talking about feelings; it's because they have to switch gears from their head to their hearts. Sometimes when they have to do it very quickly, they may feel like the life is being sucked out of them.

Most of the time when a man wants to talk, it's to ask, "What do you want to do this weekend?" When a woman says, "Let's talk," it's a signal for guys to worry -- as if their relationship is being threatened just because the woman in their lives wants to talk. You know, guys, this could be a slight overreaction.

There are some other interesting facts that can enlighten us as to why it seems that men don't talk; for example, women have twice as many words as men. Women speak at a rate of 250 words per minute; men speak at 125, and, in the course of a day, women on average speak 25,000 words, compared to a man's average 12,000. By the end of the day men are talked out, and women still have a day's worth of conversation in them.
So one of the reasons men don't feel comfortable talking is because most women can outtalk them.

Men and women also have different conversational styles. Women tend to talk faster when they get excited and may interrupt their partners, who are struggling to find the right words. When this happens, the men may lose track or shut down because they feel cut off and were unable to express what they were feeling.

Understanding how men and women differ when it comes to talking will give everyone more empathy when it comes to discussing emotional issues. And understanding each other is a big step toward creating and maintaining an emotionally fit and loving relationship.

Do boys and girls act differently in the classroom? A content analysis of student characters in educational psychology textbooks
It is almost impossible to avoid exposure to stereotyped portrayals of men and women, as popular media, such as books, television, and websites, frequently depict men and women acting in a gender stereotyped manner. For instance, content analyses of magazines aimed at adolescent girls show women primarily depicted as being concerned with appearance, romance, and household activities.

Analyses of advertising campaigns find that men are typically shown determining the purchase of expensive items, such as cars, whereas women are depicted as being in charge of buying cosmetics. Even analyses of computer clip art reveal that men are portrayed more often than women in active and nonnurturing roles.

Gooden (2001) reviewed children's books that were designated as notable by the American Library Association. Although some progress had been made, Gooden still found clear evidence of gender stereotypes in the way men and women were depicted. Male characters, for instance, were portrayed in a greater variety of roles and careers than were female characters. In addition, even though male characters appeared to have more possible activities available to them, they were seldom seen caring for children and never seen doing household chores. Evans and Davies (2000) also examined children's books and found that male characters were significantly more likely than female characters to be portrayed as possessing masculine traits, such as being argumentative.

Although fewer researchers have examined college textbooks, educational materials designed for use in higher education are also important possible sources of gender biases. Surveys of college students reveal that approximately 75% of students regard the textbook as the most important source of information in a course (Boyd, 2003), and the content of textbooks often drives faculty decisions about what information is presented in undergraduate courses (Geersten, 1997).

Gray (1977) conducted one of the first reviews of college-level introductory psychology textbooks, and she found clear evidence of gender bias. Pictures used in the texts were quite stereotyped as they portrayed women in activities focused on home and nurturing, whereas men were portrayed as achievement-oriented.

Hogben and Waterman (1997) also analyzed text and pictures in introductory psychology textbooks and they found men were present in significantly more pictures than were women, although the overall effect size was small. The compositional lay-out of the photographs, such as which figure was in the foreground or which figure was standing versus sitting, also portrayed men as having higher status than women.

Hall (2000) examined introductory sociology textbooks for presentation of poverty and gender, and she found that textbooks utilized primarily women in pictures illustrating poverty, which can indicate a victim status.
Low and Sherrard (1999) examined changes in the way men and women were pictured in sexuality and marriage and family textbooks from the 1950s to the 1990s. Although they found that gender stereotyped portrayals became less frequent over time, Low and Sherrard also reported that photographs of women in traditional settings significantly out-numbered those of women in more contemporary or gender neutral settings.

Very interesting Fredster, I attended a workshop on psycho-linguistics and assertiveness training (as if I needed it ) and they covered alot of the things which you posted above. Very very interesting stuff, so much so that I applied what I learned, and am now the straightforward ballbuster you know and love

[BushyOldGrower]

ah well... my softer side allowed the nurses to speak freely with me present though. BOG

[BushyOldGrower]

But what Fred told us is very true and I do think like a guy despite having learned a bit about how women think working closely with them. I love women and often a lot of guys just don't understand them. The same thing happens for women so we need to learn these things because the opposite of ignorance is enlightment.

Men and women both want respect though. We at least owe each other that much despite our differences. I have language difficulties and I often piss people off by making absolute statements of fact like I am the expert. Its a fault of mine and all my associates have seen the way I jut out my chin when trying to make a point. BOG

I wrote three drafts in response to this Question and all I have come up with is.
YES!
Men are not Communicaters. Women are! Women try to make them communicaters tho....... Don't try to do in 10 years what evolution has'nt done in 10,000.

Anybody ever see that Commercial about the referee that does'nt get rattled when being yelled at by the Coaches? Why because he gets the same thing at home from the misses. Oh man that is classic. Found it here it is. Look under :Budweiser: Yelling Like a Ref
https://www.ifilm.com/?sctn=collectio...owl2004&htv=12

Blatant