relationship category??? well, we WERE married, now divorced, we live together....

LOL... "meant to be" for sure

So, has Stankbud figured out what he needs to be call you?

Your Highness , Princess, his Queen, Love of his Life...

" Hey You" usually works....or " punkbaby"

hey katz....I still ain't got a horse....or a dawg......

Originally Posted by wickyd

I really like this thread, and its weird, cause I am a straight guy, but blue initially confused me for a woman =) hello blue *wave*. I'm just a guy really big into spirituality and really just a softie. but anyhow, I love human behavior and you chicks really have me interested in how you girls think and act. To see that you develop voices while reading amuses me, cause like bartender my internal voice is only me. But I dont read a lot of novels/literature either, maybe my brain isnt trained to talk in multiple tones, I can force my internal voice to be in a different tone which is weird, but I dont develop another tone for a different poster.

What is the internal voice in your head ? what causes it ? sometimes you can control what you think, sometimes you cant shut it off, othertimes I'm too stoned for it to come out right, and I babble (right now lol, gotta love AK)

- And as to friends::
My mom - twice divorced and living in a rural area has very few friends, and does not smoke at all regularly, sometimes when I go home to visit I can get her to toke up with me, but its once every 4-6 months. She just doesnt go out and do very social activities, and if she does she waits to be approached. Cool for some guys to come up I guess, but not a lot of girls gravitate to the girls groups, so she doesnt gain friends... she just never goes out.

I am a huge "pothead" and have a lot of close friends, about 6 close guy friends, and another 4-5 close girlfriends. I'm in college and am always doing social activities a lot, I personally dont do a lot of Adult social stuff either (bars, clubs, parties) althought I'm over 21 as I'm home hitting the vaporizor and watching movies/playing foosball..... its just my friends have a lot of friends and they have friends, and everyone is young, and always doing something at their house, monopoly, pool, foosball, scrabble is a blast, poker, other card games... and 6-15 people will show up and have a good time, sometimes with new people that you meet , and theres always pot around the core 5-8 of us that throw the social event, so everyone there either becomes okay with us smoking, or we confront any issues with it up front.

But my time is different than my mom's time, she was a house mom for the past 20 some odd years and hasnt gone out to do things, and "date" or just go to a bar, bum a cigarette of someone and talk to them .... damn the US and cigs, but whatever.

Sorry for the long post, just really stoned, and figured if I share some, you girls will analyze, get to know me better, and we can learn some from each other =)

wickyd

who knows

I am so sorry that I over looked responding to you Wikyd. This was a very interesting post, and of course if you are wanting to figure how the female mind works, then I speck you are looking for a life long project,ehh? But You are certainly welcome to hang in here with us gals...

What is the internal voice in your head ? what causes it ?

This I have no idea! but would be neat to know, wouldn't it.... Experience?.. Conscience?... Soul?... or just plain reasoning your brain has been trained to do since you were born... I sometimes wonder how my perception of things differ from others, but I could drive myself craZy if I think too hard on that one...

Do you ever try to imagine what it would be like if you could leave your body?

I do...

C-ya-'round

[mrwags]

Originally Posted by Ms.Grat3ful

Do you ever try to imagine what it would be like if you could leave your body?

I do...

C-ya-'round

Ms.G

When I was a young man (about 12 or so) I was racing a motorcycle and crashed into a wall at about 90 or so and bounced off of it about 11 feet meaning I took it all (cheap ass promoters) I had no vitals and was put on the stretcher covered up put in the ambulance and taken to the hospital with no lights on. (Don't ever get hurt in Arkansas ) The story they told me later was on the way back I moved they stopped revived me and well the rest as they say is still on going(my wife of 20 years will still tell you I still got a few screws loose ) My Point: During the time everybody arrived on the scene of this horific crash I can remember looking down on myself as if I was a third person and I heard the voices of a little boy and a little girl telling me it was time to go. Please understand Ms.B (and I know your wise enough to tell the diffrence from cockyness and confidence) I was born with the god given natural talent to ride a motorcycle like nobody else and I knew it and I knew that they knew it and would give me what ever I wanted as long as I raced and won and Got their motorcyle on the cover of Magazines AND I WAS A PRICK. I was the most self centered self serving cocky 12 year old man that walked the planet earth.

The Feeling Of Complete And Total Bliss

Thats it in a nut shell Ms.B. Imagine if you will that everything that you ever questioned everything that you ever wondered was for a moment completely answered in an instant and you were able to feel Heart Mind Body And Soul the power that comes with it.

I've talked to several groups over the years about their out of body experiences and have come to this conclusion.

At the time of my accident my life did not flash before my eyes and I saw no tunnel of light those that have had the same experince as myself (and I have talked to hundreds) felt the voices of the children were a test of wills. I remember myself say no no I don't want to die I don't want to die, and that It was not are time to pass If we so chose not to. Out of RESPECT for and a scolding I took from MyBeans420 I will NOT get into religion. But I will say this I spent 13 years of my life being treated like a king and being the world BIGGEST dick and miserable. And the past 29 years of my like being a cronic people pleaser and loving life more and more everyday (read my posts) . That's gotta say something for the power I was fortunate enough to experience.

My parents from that day forward took me through 5 marriages and 5 divorces and a whole lot of abuse. I've been with my wife for 20 years and have the most precious,smart,fun loving,quick witted (don't know where she gets that) little girl a man could ever have and feel the reason I was given that choice that fateful day that changed ME forever was HER MY WIFE and every single person place or thing I come in contact with everyday.

When my time on good ole mother earth is up if the chance does in fact come that I get to meet somebody (and I feel I will) The first words out of my mouth are gonna be:

Thanks For The Second Chance I KNOW I Made The Best Of It.


Mr.Wags

[Dutchgrown]

wow mrwags, thanks for sharing your experience, is incredible! knew there
was something about your personality that comes across on the board here
which shows awesome compassion for life and others...now I know why. Bless
you and your family...YOU have been blessed, as well as all of us here for you
choosing to share your time with us. Right On! Most inspirational
Life can be too short, we should all take your advice and live each day as if it
would be our last, treating those we love and those that we come in contact
with compassionately. I so often get caught up in day to day trivial issues,

I have gotta learn to look a bit deeper to what is really important,
and as been often said, don't sweat over the small stuff.


dg

[Sleepy]

Wags wears his heart on his sleeve and i respect him!

Mr.Wags.... Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story... It is touches my heart... I think I remember reading this one other time on here... I am so very glad you shared it in here with us ladies and I believe it holds true, that everything we go through makes us who we are... and you my dear, are truely a walking miracle. You did get a second chance are you are making the best of it.. Cheers to you Mr.Wags!

ms.G

[Gypsy Nirvana]

Looking back 25 plus years now I recollect very vividly the time where I died and left my body. It was 1980 and I was in partnerhsip with a friend in a nightclub business. The nightclub was on 15th & Valencia in San Francisco in the Mission District opposite a restaurant called 'La Cumbre' which made the best carne' assada burrito's in the area. Every night for 6 nights/week we would have many of the up and coming rock & roll bands playing at that club. It was a very successful venture and basically I was living a life that was fine and exciting for a 20 year old guy in the Bay area.

I would cover the door and organize the bands/P.A. e.t.c.... and my partner would do the bookings/promotion and the bar. At 20 years old I was very strong and quite a big fella with oodles of self-confidence in myself. One Saturday night 5 illegal Mexican aliens...... came to the nightclub door charged up on PCP and tequila...(so it transpired). I asked them for the $5 cover charge before they could gain entrance and they refused, cursing at me in Spanish profusely, and trying to barge their way into the club. Well, I was not going to put up with this behaviour and stood at the top of a steep stairway blocking their entrance into the club.

The Mexican closest to me managed to get a sucker punch in and knocked me back slightly but I was not hurt particulary and charged at him knocking him down the stairs and onto his compadres below. This guy did manage to grab my shirt, would'nt let go and so I went with him down the stairs, falling onto his body across the steep stairway and breaking one of his femurs (bone in leg) on the way down to the narrow corridor at the bottom of the stairs that led to the street. The guy was screaming and I could see that the bone was sticking through his jeans (compound fracture) with blood pumping out all over the place, and by the time we reached the bottom of the stairs somehow he was on top of me screaming like a stuck pig, and bleeding like one too. I managed to throw him off, and got my head up from the corridor floor to see a Michelobe bottle coming straight at my face which I managed to duck away from.

Suddenly my current girlfriend showed up at the door and shouted my name out as the four other guys that were with this bleeding Mexican queued up to try and hurt me somehow. One of them grabbed her by the neck and stuck a bottle in her face and twisted it as I watched horrified trying to get myself in a position to defend and/or attack. At that moment I must have had about a litre of adrenellin released into my bloodstream for I went absolutely crazy (berzerk) and wanted to stop these guys badly. All of a sudden (I shall never forget it) we could hear the sirens of a police cruiser outside on Valencia Street and the Mexicans took fright and took flight running away with me in hot persuit.

My girlfriend was bleeding badly from her face and I was caught between helping her and getting revenge for this horrendous attack. There were others that saw what had happened and they were trying to help her so I decided in a snap decision to chase these bastards down. So all 210 pounds of me was propelled forward as fast as I could go after these guys. Three of them made it across the intersection of 14th Street, the last guy, who happened to be the one who had used the bottle on my girlfriend was blocked and had to stop because a big semi tracker trailer rig turned right in front of him and he had to stop dead in his tracks. I was at full sprint and launched myself with both feet first towards this stationary figure. Both of my feet landed in the small of his back, breaking it and knocking him towards the semi truck which just barely missed running over him. I came crashing down but managed to get up again as soon as possible to continue my persuit of these bastardo's!.

The other three guys had then managed to get around three quarters of a block away from me but I moved fast at that age and within another two blocks I was closing with speed on the tail end guy. I must have been 30 feet away from the last fella when they all turned right into some alleyway then left again into some other one.

I ran without stalling or hesitating, trying desparately to catch up to them, but as I turned into the second alleyway something hit me very hard from behind on the back of my head, fracturing my skull and making me very dizzy and disorientated but not quite unconcious. Suddenly surrounded and surprised ,I turned towards one of these guys who pulled a machette out of a pantleg pocket and made a chopping-like motion with it on a horizontal plane towards me. I managed to get my right leg up into a half assed side kick and the machette blade bit deep into my shin and took a chunk out of it about the size of a 12 ounce sirloin steak but just glancing off the bone. At the same time I was shot by a .22 caliber saturday night special (homemade handgun) in the clavicle (shoulder). My lights went out and I went down. I bled to death in that alleyway just before the paramedics found me. How long I was gone for I am not sure to this day. But I am here now due to the professionalism and diligence of that paramedic team who brought me back from certain death.... somehow.

Whilst I was out of my body and truely dead, I realized that life was not all that there is, in fact there is nothing to be scared of in death for even at that youthful age I could appreciate the fact that death is somewhat of a release and a relief from carrying this physical body through what we know as life. Yes, I did look down on myself lying there in that alleyway and somehow I managed to gain an enormous and wholesome perspective on life and death as it was to me then from this.

Nearly 2 weeks later I surfaced into the real world again in San Francisco's General Hospital's intensive care unit. For 14 days I had been elsewhere, doped up and cut up inhabiting a space somewhere way outside of any real or tangible consciousness ...

They had operated on my leg to cut a chunk of flesh from my thigh and had literally stapled it to my shin as a flesh graft....They had removed this low velocity propelled .22 calibre bullet from my clavicle leaving a hole in my shoulder......I was being treated for a fractured skull and 4 broken ribs as well as now having pneumonia, and when they found me I was lying on my arms so now had paralysis in both of them due to nerves not having a blood supply for a while.....They had me on morphine for pain and valium(diazipam)for tranquilizing me and Chloral Hydrate for sleeping and I was tied with bandages to the bed I lay in because they thought that I just might freak-out when I finally came around......With an oxygen mask on, a glucose drip and a foley catheter on my dick I was what you might call 'completely incapacitated!'.....

[bartender187]

Gypsy.. wow.. i dont know what to say... that really moved me.

Mrwags- death has an awkard way of settin ppl straight. it makes you grateful like a ton of bricks to the face.

When i was younger.. i witnessed one my best friends get killed by a Excursion with a grill gaurd. ive never been the same after that... life has taken on a whole new meaning.. and every time i feel bummed out, or frustrated.. i just try and think about Cody Ross. He was a great friend, filled to the brim with life. take care bro, you will always be missed.

peace

[Mrs.Babba]

mrwags..i knew you were a special guy when i talked to you,your wife sees that too, thats quite the story,thank you for sharing that with us :smile: must be a scary experience for sure! wow, cant even imagine thanks again
Gypsy, thats a scary story too!...glad you made it out of that experience in one piece, when i was a kid my dad was a bartender in San Francicso and he got stabbed in the back by some guys, brought back all kinds of memories, scary stuff!