gf is beating me up... wtf?

mowood3479 · Jan 17, 2013

So, My gf is going thru a hard period of depression..
She has twice in the last few weeks hit me with two or three hard right hands to the side of my face... In her defense, It was the apex of an escalating argument about me turning off unused lights.....(some stupid bullshit)
I can take an ass whooping but Im really bothered by this.. Have a mild concussion from the last outburst...

My concerns are this...
She has a 4 yearold daughter, who I am heartbroken that she has to see this type of behavior from her mom and I..
and Iam worried that if I keep having to take these whoopings Im going to lose my temper and hit her.... which would be very bad..

I have two smallish gardens.. She is privy to both and one is in her place.
Growing is in her family and she has never called the cops nor threatened too but she is unstable as hell right now...

I do care for her and love her... but our relationship is totally twisted and unhealthy..
I want out but If I even bring it up she flies off the handle..
I have offered her a large sum of $.. to live off for awhile after we break up...

I want to call her mother and her sister and let them know how bad things are right now but that is another thing she has flipped out at before..

Regular people get to call the cops n get restraining orders but other than shutting everything down n moving out of my own house I dont have much of a play do I?

CowboySpcd · Jan 17, 2013

Ask her to talk to her doctor about some anti dep meds. I got on zoloft a couple years ago and it's a whole other world. Much easier to deal with the everyday bullshit - levels you right out.

Best of luck, it's a bitch to live in anger.

johnipedestran · Jan 17, 2013

I assume you somewhere you don't want Leo looking at your plants? If affirmative only alternative you have is shut down any op she privy too break up and move on

peace
jip

Hydro-Soil · Jan 17, 2013

CowboySpcd said:
Ask her to talk to her doctor about some anti dep meds. I got on zoloft a couple years ago and it's a whole other world. Much easier to deal with the everyday bullshit - levels you right out.

Best of luck, it's a bitch to live in anger.

Don't do this.

Work out alternatives to Rx first... use the Rx as a last resort. Most all of those (including zoloft) can/will do some nasty stuff to your brain chemistry. Permanent things too.

Number one... most likely she's not eating a whole foods diet, free from corn syrup, mono and di-glycerides, acids and flavors derived from corn and other artificial 'stuff'. Removing these can go a LONG way toward mental stability. This will take time though... not an overnight cure.

Does it seem like nothing you say is getting processed logically by her? Does it seem like no matter how patiently you explain something she takes it as an attack? If so then... Yeah, it's the food. *sigh* Went through that with my wife. She's totally awesome now!

I used to take walks. Just up and walk out. Sometimes for hours. Walk back in and they're still at it... I walk out. Eventually she got the point. (Not like I could 'say' anything that would help *sigh*) Later on we found out is was the food. WOW...

Seriously hope that's your issue as that's what is sounds like. The other end is finding out what's putting pressure on her to outburst on such a small thing. Eh?

Wish you the best of luck.

Stay Safe! :blowbubbles:

azez · Jan 17, 2013

First off,
There is no excuse for her putting her hands on you period.
Dont make excuses for her.
start there and best of luck cuz i have no advice with the limited information.
peace
ez

slackx · Jan 17, 2013

Start munching some box, or laying more pipe. If she's got all that pent up frustration - homie isn't cleaning the plate.

midwestHIGHS · Jan 17, 2013

Gettin beat on by the ol lady ain't that some shit. Sorry to hear that mate, pretty shitty situation. hmm, umm ya I don't know you tell her to leave shes crazy talks, she stays you try have family help, still crazy and talks, stays, you get beat on, still crazy an talks. This ones tricky, I would shut down, take care of shit with her then start back up after the shits settled down. Better to be safe then sorry in situation like this, she could easily make your nightmare a little bit worse.

Kush_Master · Jan 17, 2013

Ill let Sir Sean Connery answer that one for you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

teemu shalanie · Jan 17, 2013

Anyone raises their fists and connects , they is going to sleep.

TS

mowood3479 · Jan 17, 2013

thanks for the replies yall... Yes i dont want leo anywhere near me or mine...
@hydro-soil
Ya you pretty much hit the nail on the head with the description.... Im gonna suggest the whole foods diet to her (If I can catch her in a more receptive mood

Thanks for sharing.. never been thru something like this before.. Its a shame because most of the time she is a really cool woman.
Iam not a victim in this, I have made my choices... I just get frustrated when it seems like nothing works to help her feel better...
I guess Iam taking a risk by not shutting down.. but... I wish herb helped melllow her out like it helps me..
well, actually it does.. if I can get her to do a vape she does usually feel better.. just wish she didnt need so much mellowing sometimes.. i hate drama and yelling.

mowood3479 · Jan 17, 2013

Also, I did stand there and let her hit me with my hands at sides.. was hoping if she drew blood shed realize how nuts she was being...

Mayb I wont do that again.... ill probably get out of the way of those haymakers..

ColorGRo · Jan 17, 2013

You have to worry about your own happiness before anything else. You said what u want. now do what u want. I took 2 years of DV classes for breaking a window in my own house and as much as I hated going, they teach you very helpful stuff if you are receptive. The main this is to take care of yourself first.

Arthritis_sucks · Jan 17, 2013

Girlfriend only!....no brainer there, take cuts for new moms, get a new place situated an when they root run for the hills.........no need to play Capt. Save-a-hoe.

lost in a sea · Jan 17, 2013

if she admits she needs help with her issues then its step one, but if this shit will just continue then walk..

she is obviously lacking something in her life as well as not being given the chance to break out of her negative cyclic thinking..

try taking her out for a meal, vapourise essential oils into the air in the bath or bedroom/living area, because women are more sensitive than men to their effects, and try to get her eating a more varied healthy diet generally..

whatever it stems from needs some attention as well but probably wont go away for a long time so misdirection can work just as well to let the person achieve some new happier state, then its up to them how they proceed, either relapse or continue fighting..

:2cents:

PhatPhreddy420 · Jan 17, 2013

Crazy exes make the best fertilizer.......

Mullabor · Jan 17, 2013

Shitty situation dude but you already know what YOU need to do.
Use your head and not your heart.

hush · Jan 17, 2013

Dismantle your gardens and relocate right away. IMPORTANT: Do not do anything else at all until your gardens are somewhere where she doesn't know.

Then, tell her that she needs to make a choice, right now: Go see a doctor right away, and we stay together... or Don't, and we are through.

Don't make excuses for her. She is getting violent with you, bro. I went through this recently with my own wife, and when the shit hit the fan I had to give her the old ultimatum myself... turns out she was suffering from depression as a result of codependency issues stemming from her mom's bipolar disorder and alcoholism. It just never "boiled over" until last year, when she turned 25. Strange how things from our past can and do affect our present.

She needs to see a doctor, and drugs aren't always necessary, so don't go immediately for the Zoloft. She just might need some good old fashioned psychotherapy. Like, on the couch style.

foaf · Jan 17, 2013

seems obvious to me.... but shit, I can't always run my own life so take it for what its worth..

close up the gardens, pot comes and goes and you can always grow later. put all your illegal stuff in a place she doesn't know about like a storage unit. then you can move on much more functionall without any threats or coercion regarding the pot growing situation.

good luck.

habeeb · Jan 17, 2013

"I want out"

you said it, not me

second hitting is not ok, no matter who it's from, second you need some therapy or some good one on one time alone to how you got in this mess.. NEVER EVER I repeat when you leave ever get in a relationship for at least a year.. you have some stuff to sort out why you would be in a relationship like this and how you were ok with it.. you have a long way to trail back to being "absolute healthy in the mind"

no I'm no therapist, so don't take my words if you don't want, but I've seen enough in life to come to what I'm telling you, short and simple for about 20 years worth of seeing this stuff and weekly discussions with my wife on 'bad behavioral patterns' ...

if you need a therapist, there's no need to shy about it, second keep in mind if you do to find one that fits to you, or else you could end up listening and doing whatever someone else says is healthy or not.. you need to be the final factor how you want your life to go..

accessndx · Jan 17, 2013

You can always call the fuzz and tell them that she's a slap-happy broad that's been growing weed and holding you hostage. Then you could sell the rights to Hollywood for a bazillion $.

You can chain her up like some sort of sex-slave in the basement and feed her only on Wednesdays until she gets the hint.

You could take the high road and as a couple get into brazilian jiu-jitsu....this way at least she has some additional playmates and you'll both be prepared for fisticuffs.

Maybe a frontal lobotomy would be in order?

If you were on a cruise ship, I'd get her nice and liquored up and tell her to look really....really closely at something over the railing that looks like a cute marine mammal attempting to make contact with her. Wouldn't hurt if there were a banana peel nearby either...

You could always feed her to a pack of feral hogs if none of that works out.

OR my favorite: you could tell her for each action there is an equal and opposite reaction....and school her in a bit of physics: every time she slaps you....she gets kicked in the vagina like you're punting a football. Forwarned is forearmed....so she can just expect to walk funny for a day or so each time she gets alien arm syndrome and decides to mistreat her bo. It's all fair if you tell her in advance so she can appreciate the equity of it all. If she doesn't want a deposit of pain in her nether regions, she can respect the cheeks in a ladylike fashion. She wants to brawl like she's that broad in the first Indiana Jones movie...then she gets chased like a dog that just shit on the livingroom floor with a shoe.

gf is beating me up... wtf?

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