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Weird - Wacky - Funny News

R

Robrites

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Gypsy Nirvana

Recalcitrant Reprobate -
Administrator
Veteran
Dayum!.......what an awful waste of good beer...which could have gone to support poor German ex-pats in far off nations.
 

Stoner4Life

Medicinal Advocate
ICMag Donor
Veteran

not beer but wine:
I'm a type2 diabetic & my doctor advised me that in lieu of fresh fruit that I could drink 8 ounces of 100% fruit juice (like Juicy Juice) drinks counting as 2 of my 4 daily fruit portions, or drink 16 ounces for all 4 of my fruit.

I asked her if I could substitute wine instead of fruit juice and she was just about shrieking in laughter, I had her laughing so hard that I forgot to mention my thoughts on a new 'grilled cheese with bacon' diet.......

 

hoki2test

Active member
Veteran
Police try to return thousands of stolen shoes

Police try to return thousands of stolen shoes


It was perhaps Melbourne's largest ever hot shoe shuffle - more than 2400 pairs of stolen shoes were moved into Epping Memorial Hall in a bid to find their long-lost owners.
Lonesome cowboy boots, rainbow-laced sneakers and even a pair of motorcycle boots filled the hall in Melbourne's north on Sunday, as police sought to reunite victims of a shoe thief with their lost footwear.
Of the more than 2000 pairs on display, by far the most common item was the humble work boot, including one unworn pair of Blundstones still wrapped in their box.
A sea of mustard, tan and black boots spattered with every imaginable shade of mud and dust and concrete and tar offered vital clues as to the trade of their owners.
Police investigating hundreds of reports of shoes stolen from across Melbourne's northern suburbs over the past six years had unearthed the stash of 2416 pairs of stolen shoes in a home in Mernda last year.
 

armedoldhippy

Well-known member
Veteran

not beer but wine:
I'm a type2 diabetic & my doctor advised me that in lieu of fresh fruit that I could drink 8 ounces of 100% fruit juice (like Juicy Juice) drinks counting as 2 of my 4 daily fruit portions, or drink 16 ounces for all 4 of my fruit.

I asked her if I could substitute wine instead of fruit juice and she was just about shrieking in laughter, I had her laughing so hard that I forgot to mention my thoughts on a new 'grilled cheese with bacon' diet.......


the cheese and bacon portion should be okay. it is the bread that i am being warned away from...
 

Only Ornamental

Spiritually inspired agnostic mad scientist
Veteran

not beer but wine:
I'm a type2 diabetic & my doctor advised me that in lieu of fresh fruit that I could drink 8 ounces of 100% fruit juice (like Juicy Juice) drinks counting as 2 of my 4 daily fruit portions, or drink 16 ounces for all 4 of my fruit.

I asked her if I could substitute wine instead of fruit juice and she was just about shrieking in laughter, I had her laughing so hard that I forgot to mention my thoughts on a new 'grilled cheese with bacon' diet.......
*Giggles*
Or you could just get a pair of new glasses... helps finding your third teeth so you don't have to slurp your food any longer :D .

If you really like your food in a liquid state: smoothies! Cactus figs and chia seeds are great for diabetics as are ginger and cinnamon. My summer favourite is peaches with Aztec sweet herb (similar to licorice and sweetleaf though with a less obtrusive but minty taste), gingermint, fresh hemp leaves, some cinnamon, and milk or rice milk (plus a scoop of vanilla ice if you were not diabetic).

Wine isn't that bad, actually quite healthy, it's just the alcohol inside which has some drawbacks... :)
 

Stoner4Life

Medicinal Advocate
ICMag Donor
Veteran
Man mauled to death while taking selfie with injured bear


A man was mauled to death by a wounded bear this week when he foolishly tried to take a photograph alongside the apex predator — the third wild animal-related selfie fatality in this region of India in less than a year, according to reports. The victim, identified by local media as Prabhu Bhatara, was driving a group of people home from a wedding in an SUV when he stopped to relieve himself in a forest area in the eastern Indian state of Odisha on Wednesday evening, the Hindustan Times reported. Bhatara then spotted an injured bear and for some reason, decided to take a selfie with the creature, according to the report. When the man approached, the bear’s fight instinct immediately kicked in.


your classic Darwin award winner.......
 
R

Robrites

Florida woman's gruesome roach-in-ear tale goes viral

Florida woman's gruesome roach-in-ear tale goes viral

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- Those screams you hear?
They're the collective sounds of primal anguish after reading a Florida woman's account of waking up with a palmetto bug in her ear. (That's the polite name for a flying cockroach, for those of you not acquainted with the reviled Sunshine State insects.)
Katie Holley's gruesome experience happened in the early morning hours of April 14. Soon after, her sister-in-law -- who works as an editor for Self Magazine -- asked her to pen an essay . She did, in frightening, gut-churning detail that's made thousands of people across the nation wonder if they should sleep with earplugs.
"Never thought I'd be known for such a ridiculous thing lol," she tweeted to a reporter on Thursday. It should be noted that Holley has an extremely positive attitude and healthy sense of humor about an episode that would send many into a spiral of anxiety, including this reporter.
"I need therapy for a lot of reasons, but this experience blows all of those other reasons out of the water," Holley wrote.
Holley, who is 29 and works as a sales and marketing manager in Melbourne on the state's east coast, has lived in Florida since 1995. Which means she's seen her fair share of palmetto bugs, which are brown, ubiquitous, and can grow to an inch-and-a-half long or more. It doesn't matter how clean your home is -- it's almost a given that every building has one or more.
And they come out at night.
"When I woke up with this weird feeling, I didn't know what it was. But 30 seconds later, stumbling to the bathroom, I knew," she said. "I knew there was something in my ear."
(Dear Reader, just stop now if you're squeamish. Really.)
Holley's next several hours were the stuff of horror movies. She gingerly put a cotton swab in her ear and fished out two legs. Her husband "located the thickest part of the roach that was visible" and tried to extract it, to no avail.
(Seriously, it gets worse.)
The bug wriggled in her ear on the trip to the hospital.
"As the doctor administered the Lidocaine, the roach began to...react. Feeling a roach in the throes of death, lodged in a very sensitive part of your body, is unlike anything I can adequately explain," she wrote.
A doctor removed three chunks -- but that wasn't the end of the ordeal.
(You've been warned.)
Nine days later, Holley still had lingering discomfort and hearing loss, so she went to her family doctor.
"My physician proceeded to remove the leg and flush my ear again, only to examine it and see even more remnants. She ended up pulling out six more pieces of the roach's carcass nine days after the incident took place."
(Deep breath.)
Here's the bad news.
"This may be upsetting to many people, but it's a pretty common thing," said Dr. David Wein, chief of emergency medicine at Tampa General Hospital, who added that the hospital gets a dozen or so cases a year. "There are probably not a lot of preventative things you can do. In Florida it's really hard, because we all have bugs in our house, no matter how many times you spray."
In fact, Holley said, she and her husband had hired an exterminator about a week before the incident.
"I think it's one of those freak things, unfortunately," she said. "It happened to me, so it's probably not going to happen to you."


Unless you smoke weed of course...
 

Only Ornamental

Spiritually inspired agnostic mad scientist
Veteran
...
Unless you smoke weed of course...
Eh? Palmettos, I thought it was "unless you smoke palmettos" :) .
I love roaches, had about 20 different species (alongside some bearded dragons and centipedes) as pets a few years back.
Have some pictures:
 

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Bud Green

I dig dirt
Veteran
Eh? Palmettos, I thought it was "unless you smoke palmettos" :) .
I love roaches, had about 20 different species (alongside some bearded dragons and centipedes) as pets a few years back.
Have some pictures:

Do you have a wife or a girlfriend?:biggrin:

I gotta admit, I never heard of that one before!
 

Jellyfish

Invertebrata Inebriata
Veteran
winner@420giveaway
Anybody else amused by Nicolas Cage in Vampire's Kiss? He ate a live cockroach.
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Stoner4Life

Medicinal Advocate
ICMag Donor
Veteran
Thanks to Willie Nelson, Woody Harrelson and pot are on the road again
Jeremy Belanger
Producer, Yahoo Entertainment
May 8, 2018

It looks like Woody Harrelson’s attempt to quit smoking pot has gone up in smoke after a visit with Willie Nelson. The Solo: A Star Wars Story star, known to many as an avid cannabis user, made headlines after announcing in 2017 that he’d no longer smoke.

On The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Harrelson said, “I quit for almost two years. No smoking, no vaping. Every once in a while you might have something edible. I’m not a nun.”

Harrelson told DeGeneres that he would occasionally visit Willie Nelson, the legendary country music artist with an equally legendarily love of weed. Nelson generously offered his own branded vape pens, and Harrelson politely declined.

However, the seed was planted in Harrelson’s head that he needed to smoke some of “Willie’s Reserve.” So, after a particularly good hand of poker with Nelson, Harrelson celebrated with a puff. Nelson remarked, “Welcome home, son.”


:party:
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