I noticed the other night a change come over me. I pulled into the driveway after work and I just sat there. I tend to notice a cycling in my moods from time to time. The meds I have tried for this are shit, and they turn me into a zombie. So I med with smoke. It is just my luck that I am OUT!! Usually when I start to cycle down I can pull myself back out, but no luck so far. I have become more self-blaming than usual. I am catch myself thinking almost constantly about major and minor defects in myself, and I have become less interested in the people in my life, work, and even my grow. It is hard when you feel like this to talk to anyone about anything much less how you feel, but here at IC I feel at home. I have made many friends here that I know will not judge me, or look at me funny when I try to explain whats going on. I just wish there was something I could do to pull myself out of this funk. I dont want to eat, sleep, talk to my family or girl, much less work. Sorry for venting on a pointless thread.