Bipolarity and hallucinogens -anyone?

Ingesting good quality BHO from strong potent indicas are mine solution to treat
personal problems,i will love to add to this BHO from CBD dominant strains in future,

when i am full of cannabionides than mine brains thinks properly and great,
only then i am in balance and full focus,
if i dont have cannabionides than i start to feel very bad and cant think properly,

didnt found better medicine for mine issues than Canna and shrooms,but shrooms i eating every 3-4 months easy dose for laughs and feel good 1-1.5 grams,

later i feel personal serotonine levels much higher for few months.

Have diagnosed PTSD and was on doctor medications for 8 years,they gived me Xanax SR,Tegretol CR,Prazine-antipscihotic,Fevarin antidepresives SSRR but i moved all
those garbage from self gradualy with those tablete cutter and only use now for few years canna and last year and half shrooms a bit.

I sees that Cannabis and Shrooms can give me all what i need and keep me sane
and in total balance,thru Shrooms i sees true much better around self,

they are great for awaking... specialy if you take high dose as me once and i was in a World of ghoasts for few hours,was scared as shit in that moment.. but later was feel
after shrooms put me down on ground and was feel very well from that experience..

scary.. but goody...and opens eyes for selfcentering self as person.

Agree that good quality of food,some moving and activity also gives right neurotransmitters to live life more properly and with greater quality..


I stoped to drink pills after i look German documentary
named "Psychiatry",try to google if you are interested..


All the best

DS

https://www.icmag.com/ic/showthread.php?threadid=310408

check out this thread by primalhaze about a scientist who "at the end he theorizes that our personalities are possibly determined by the combinations in our endogenous cannabinoid system."

basically for many of us, certain profiles "right" us, and my thinking is that our systems are not self balance due to whatever dysfunctions and we resolve it by adding the cannabionids we are deficient in by smoking

imhe not only can the psychedelic experience let you see this inside of yourself but it can effect it as well sometimes permanently

graham hancock in "war on consciousnes" is a good take on DMT and healing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b6-0yW7Iaw

I like mushrooms,

less extreme and not man made.

and the experience is long enough to contemplate things.

I always found mushrooms to be a little messier than acid , which I find to be clearer, if that makes sense

mushrooms are messier , but I feel like they have more potential to heal the mind

Genghis Kush said:

mushrooms are messier , but I feel like they have more potential to heal the mind

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Shrooms really heals mental problems,
if i readed good scientist in 1960 was have plan to use shrooms
as terapheutic tool... than after goverments forbid those psylocybin
they stopped with experiments on people..

Think that great influence on psyche haves growing plants,
there is ideas in World and from some autors that growing plants
can even treat schyzophrenia and other hard mental states,

growing plants is great..

I noticed that some people have a deep aversion to man made psychedelics

Part of this is because, many people have encountered first hand those with corrupt hearts and minds, and suffered accordingly. This builds a big wall of distrust, understandably.

The second facet however, and imho the crux of the psychedelic experience, is coming to terms with our own cognitive biases, some of which are more than behavioral. This bias leads to a projected (and often unfounded) mistrust in others.

Let me explain.

If you are raised in such a way, lets say your parents both treat you badly, you might have experiential programming that limits your belief of the loving potential of parenting.

It might make you think that on some level all parenting is founded on this principle. This is a behavioral cognitive bias that can be corrected fairly easily, but before treatment the person might be leery of all parents.

Now if you have a biological cognitive bias, say a failure of the endocrine system or neurological issues, your body can manufacture feelings for events that simply aren't accurate.

I think people who suffer this bias, have the hardest challenge, because their bias isn't constructed by experience and removed when that simply filter is dissolved.

It is constructed by the body and thus feels 110% like simple reality.

I have suffered paranoia as payload of biological dysfunction, and it took years for me to separate my mind, from the cognitive biases of my body.

When your own body betrays you making you feel depressed, angry, paranoid, whatever the case may be, it is exponentially harder to modulate the mind to see the "truth".

I think that many growers here at least, have this kind of bias in some part, and that sadly it limits the potential of their being to connect with others who would simply add value to their lives.

It is a very hard nut to crack, and I do think that the best bet is to explore natural entheogens to remove the question of human influence, but for me personally, if it wasn't for the human dynamic connected to the psychedelic experience I wouldn't be here now.

In the 90s while working at a high level of my profession, I ate a tremendous amount of LSD, incomprehensible tbh, and while I got benefit from it, it only gave me personal revelations about myself. It wasn't until I had the same experiences within a community of people with like minds that I was able to really understand the human condition from other perspectives and thus come to terms and reconcile my own. (and with help from substances made by man but with real integrity and intent to help people achieve full potential)

In the end, many people are disenfranchised by the human experience, but long to live humanity to its highest potential, which, ironically requires we engage in the human experience in both ourselves and others.

Understand this, we are phenotype expressions of very like gene sets, and understanding all of our potential expressions are accessible to us, if we dare to seek to know them, if we dare to seek and know each other.

Great fucking thread. Bravo.

I commend you for taking the trip, honestly last time I did psychedelics I had a really hard time, guy I was with went NUTZ never seen anything like it. Fire trucks, police, ambulances, many many onlookers to the predicament... I have so much anxiety about them, yet "know" I have to do it again. It's just daunting, and time keeps passing. I used to eat mushrooms twice a year, now it's been two years of nothing. Though I do feel like I'm processing it finally and my anxiety isn't as high anymore.

Time will tell if I'm brave enough to face that demon again.

.

I´m now looking into continuing with psilocybine. The drugs aren´t answers or cures, they just open doors -it´s up to you how deep you dare go. Yage was enough (maybe) to get things started, San Pedro defintely deepened the learning but I still need to work on my OCD/anxiety issues. Psychedelics should be used with respect, they are teachers and not toys.

I have found some psychedelic experiences give me insight, but some have actually touched (effected/changed) my physiology.

I recall an analogy told to me years ago that resonates with me today that illustrates your point.

He told a story of hiking through thick woods in the American NE, and how due to the wilderness was unable to see the landscape past the trees and could not tell via landmarks if they where traveling in the right direction. So they climbed a small mountain to get a view of the surrounds.

When they did so they where able to see all the landmarks and figure out their position.

In order to continue to make headway they needed to leave the vantage point they where experiencing and go back into the woods and continue their travels. Occasionally they would reach a high point, climb it, and assess their travels again.

It illustrated the difference in perspective we get with psychedelics and how, while we are enjoying that perspective, if can be hard to apply what we learned to the world we normally participate in.

There is a quote, and I forget the exact source, but it goes something like, a vision without action is a daydream. An action without vision is a nightmare.

In this context psychedelics can be helpful medicine or even a simple troublesome drug depending on intent of use.

My spores have started to grow, might have good mycelia in another two weeks. I also now have spores for Columbian cubensis and I´ll innoculate them soon. So far I´m still off the psych meds and doing well enough -some anxiety and obsessions but no mania. This journey is very interesting

Hey everyone, interesting thread. I'm 45 and have lived with unipolar depression much of my adult life. Complicated and sporatically worsened/relieved by periods of substance abuse/addiction and periods of abstinence/recovery. I'm presently 2 1/2 years clean from a serious heroin habit, on the surface doing "incredible" - ask anyone - from work to family to friends - But... I'm never without an enormous fear that has no object/reason and I seem to be completely incapable of ever really actualizing my potential or well, life is just fucking hard and it is for people without depression too (I wouldn't trade the depression for cancer, losing a loved one, etc...) so I hate dwelling on feeling bad publicly. I am very grateful for so very many positive things (well, people really) in my life and hate to appear otherwise, it just doesn't translate to anything approaching happiness.

I have a lot of experience with hallucinogens, beginning in high school and I have a lot of thoughts regarding them and (my, at least) mental health. Presently I gotta run to work, I'll be back with a paragraph or two this evening.

I saw an article in Wired about how our gut flora might be influencing our mental health as well. Perhaps worth investigating also? It seems that gut flora - once dead - do not come back over time. And this can cause some serious imbalance.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/04/gut-bacteria-mental-healt_n_6391014.html

While probiotics consist of strains of good bacteria, prebiotics are carbohydrates that act as nourishment for those bacteria. With more evidence that gut bacteria may exert some influence on brain function and mental health, probiotics and prebiotics are being studied for the potential alleviation of anxiety and depression symptoms.

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Mayor: Do some reading on ayahuasca, it´s used for addictions and mostly for unipolar depression. If aya calls you then make a plan

I was supposed to meet my old shrink but alas he was on sick leave and will be getting his pension soon -great guy who´s looked after me for years. Instead I met a younger guy, very friendly and very interested in updating my diagnosis. He wasn´t very sure of the bipolarity but he want´s to look into the personality side and suspects obsessive personality. I was open about cannabis, the aya experience etc and he didn´t see a problem with that or my wanting to try psilocybin The times they are a´ changin´ :O

Runt - first time the word ayahuasca came into my life was around 1990, although the actual word used was "Yage" - the context was the William Boroughs novel "Junky" - (autobiographical, centered on the early years of his opiate addiction) - As I recall, toward the end of the book, he was communicating with Allen Ginsburg about his desire to come to know this ethnogen as a means to free himself from his addiction. There is another book I've never read called "The Yage Letters"(I think?) which carries on the conversation. I actually don't know whether Uncle Bill ever tried the Yage or not... but, we do know that the middle 1950's (when "Junky" was published) wasn't his last battle with addiction. -I'm not saying that to imply anything about the potential of aya to help, only as a precursor to what I'll contribute going forward, ie that the subject of this thread has been of intense personal interest for a long, long time. I know no more than anyone else here, the only thing I really know about is living in my own head, and each of ours is so very different... I think it is absolutely essential to stress this point before I continue - One man's solution could easily be another's downfall and vice-versa.

Having said that, I have arrived recently at a point where I am considering, and feel I may be ready to undertake this exact journey, or something similar. My experience with hallucinogens is extensive, but has been mostly too mixed-up with my "recreational" drug use to be of much lasting theraputic value. The exception to that was my last dmt experience which I credit, in part but not at all in totality, of my success in staying off of opiates for the last 2+ years.

Mayor: I´ve been meaning to look into Burroughs myself but a lot of other books have sidetracked me. I tried acid once in the 70´s and it was bad so I thought never again -of course it was set and setting. Personally I never thought I´d try something like that again but luckily I did.

Hallucinogens have opened new options in my life, new ways of looking into myself and seeing what my problems are -they aren´t the solution just "guides". I´m feeling OK after aya but I´m not tiptoeing through any roses, it´s just that I can accept anxiety etc and not become desperate. It is what it is.

And it is complicated. Getting older. Being sick. Having pain both physical and spiritual. I hope I´m on the right road, I´ll be 56 soon and all I´m looking for is some peace of mind.

Peace

Have you looked into ibogaine? Very powerful and there are some great therapy centers where you can use it outside the us...

HL45 - I'm not sure if you were addressing me or Runt, but I have read a lot about Ibogaine and if I had the means while I was trying to get off h, that's definitely the one I would have chosen, main reason being the way it short-circuits withdrawls. As things stand today, I can focus purely on the goal of finding out the sources of my real problem. I feel very much that I am at a crossroads. It's only very recently that I've came to believe that my problem is more metaphysical than physical. I may have genetic/bio/neuro-logical predispositions, but even there I think my choices in dealing with those (even unknown) were probably more important in my development.

I'm in a pretty bad spot mentally right now, unhappy with myself, know I am capable of doing/being so much more than I am able to. Overly frustrated and defeated by minor life difficulties that in the past I'd either tackle/change or accept and move on. I'm sort of in a holding pattern until Nov. 3 when I see a new psychiatrist.

What presently interests me more than either ayahuasca or ibogaine, in the short term is
what is going on with Ketamine. It's being used off-label to treat depression and seems especially useful for interrupting suicidal thoughts, of which I'm rarely without when things get bad. (never have attempted, I can deal, no worries) Some ER's have been using it for people who come in in a suicidal crisis, and even if the problem is totally situational it seems, for some people, to just totally take the suicidal thoughts away. It's a low dose slow drip injection given over a period of time and I'm really the most enthused about the difference in what people expected (ie. to get high in some manner and feel better) and what they reported - many do feel some instant relief but say that the real breakthrough comes when they realize that they are doing things that seemed impossible a week ago - and THAT is where the real "feeling good" starts to happen - naturally, in reaction to life events and achievements that should bring about good feeling. Ideally I'd try this in the short term and start looking into a full on immersive aya experience/journey.

I have had one break-through dmt experience (and a number of lesser doses, all smoked) and need to return. At the peak of that one breakthrough I was told/asked (among other things I was unable to return with) "I have more to show you, if you wish." I replied out loud(didn't know or think about the fact that I was "making sound" in my response,) "that's ok, I don't think I want any more right now." The couple who were there to keep an eye on me naturally thought I was speaking to them and replied "oh, we put it away" or something to that effect. only other spoken words were mine to them through the fog with difficulty: "I wasn't talking to you." This really freaked them out but did shut them up which was all I wanted. A bit to scared/overwhelmed to see any further at the time, I was just trying to process what was immediate. Between the interruption & the short nature of the trip, I was now sadly on my way back home. I love the fact that Aya extends the experience and avoids the absolutely overwhelming "rush" - that is so difficult to work with.