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How many men does it take to lift a giraffe?

C

Chamba

I googled "giraffe joke" and there aren't that many giraffe jokes out there


http://www.poddys.com/jokes/adul_121.htm

The Mouse And The Giraffe
A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar.

The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink.

Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink.

After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together.

The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the barstool and sat there gasping for air. His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out.

The bartender took one look and said, "How did it go last night?"

The mouse said, "Man, that was the best sex I ever had."

The bartender asked, "Why do you look so bad?"

The mouse replied, "Hey, between the kissing and the screwing I must have run 10 miles!"

hmmm, not that funny.

......here's another

http://www.alltooflat.com/funny/jokes/jokes.php?viewj=306


The Giraffe Joke Joke Number 306

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call". So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my giraffe." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the giraffe falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe."



here's one a mate of mine often says and says it well....

a horse walks into a bar..the concerned barman says "why the long face?"
 

omega7

Member
big mike said:
dont forget about transporting it, or do you plan on having 8 men just casually carry a girrafe home..

Dont forget gloves either. Just in case the guys hands at the unlucky end slip. Im sure you will be able to identify the giraffophiles as they will come equipped with gloves and wandering hands. I mean who else is gonna volunteer for this. Unless they are getting paid. Is there a union for this type of thing? We might have to go with midgets. Too bad that midget fighting league got mauled by a lion or something.
 

chuckyoufarley

Well-known member
Veteran
hey H3ad what 1 of your strains were you smoking when this thought of picking up a giraffe cuz thats the type of stuff i want .
and as for the question i'd say 8 men 2 each leg cuz that would be the only place you could touch him is the legs cuz he to tall to pick up by his belly that is unless ya bean him in the noggin with a big ass rock knock him out then when he down try to pick him up LOL this is to early in the morning
 
G

Guest

how do you decide who carries the back end and who carries the front end?

And did you know that a giraffe's tongue is over a yard long? What happens if he's hot and has it hanging out while he's being carried? Its illegal to use giraffe tongues as road washing instruments and lord only knows the giraffe wouldn't much enjoy it.

I think the Giraffe Logistics and Transportation Agency should be contacted before anybody seriously considers taking action at all. :bat:
 
G

Guest

that's a problem cough, giraffes can't support the weight of their necks on their sides and sleep crouched and for short periods at a time. You'd need more people to hold the neck then you would to pick the damn thing up and carry it....


H3ad, two question though...where does the giraffe need to be transported, and last but not least...why can't it walk there on its own? :eek: :chin:

:biglaugh:
 
G

Guest

As anyone who has ever loaded a deer onto a four-wheeler can agree, an unconscious giraffe would be difficult to lift, even for eight guys...
I thought we'd just talk her into standing still and keep her legs rigid...
although if unconscious, you could build a large litter to lift with...
However, it might look suspicious carrying an unconscious giraffe out of a bar...
 
G

Guest

well, it's a hypothetical giraffe... and doesn't actually need to be transported, just lifted... a foot or two would do, just to see if it can be done, and by how many hypothetical blokes...
 

omega7

Member
ok ok I got it...13 2 on each foot/lower leg...2 underneath and 1 more on each leg to keep the knees straight and lift some. Plus 1 to supervise, measure and to sing the toys r us theme song.
 
G

Guest

omega7 said:
ok ok I got it...13 2 on each foot/lower leg...2 underneath and 1 more on each leg to keep the knees straight and lift some. Plus 1 to supervise, measure and to sing the toys r us theme song.
If this were an actual approved contest, I believe omega7, you would have won.... That sounds like the most plausable plan that I have heard so far and I love the singing part!
:bis: Very Good Thinking Omega7! :D I Love It!
 
G

Guest

LOL>..... ooppssssie.... LOL... you're right it's 15... I didn't bother to add it up... :bashhead: gosh, I guess neither did he?... LOL...

LOL... Oh well :rolleyes: close enough... LOL.. too funny....
 
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