Register ICMag Forum Menu Features Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
You are viewing our:
in:
Forums > Talk About It! > Toker's Den > The joke thread, cause we all need to laugh!!!!!!

Thread Title Search
Post Reply
The joke thread, cause we all need to laugh!!!!!! Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-27-2020, 05:28 AM #5081
"Username"
Guest

Posts: n/a
What is the difference between erotic asphyxiation and a rear naked choke in an MMA cage fight?

Not much really, just an orgasm as far as I can tell.
Quote


Old 06-27-2020, 05:32 AM #5082
"Username"
Guest

Posts: n/a
I never use the "N" word because it's an offensive and ugly word,

I use the "B" word, which is way more descriptive.
The other day I was in the changeroom and there were Biggers everywhere
Quote


Old 06-27-2020, 05:39 AM #5083
"Username"
Guest

Posts: n/a
Arrghh the worst thing about getting a new username is that I can't edit my posts until I stack up a certain number of posts, not sure why this is so?
Here's the edited version of the above post.

I never use the "N" word because it's offensive and ugly. I use the "B" word, which is way more descriptive.
The other day I was in the changeroom and there were Biggers everywhere!
Quote


Old 06-27-2020, 09:54 AM #5084
TNTBudSticker
Senior Member

TNTBudSticker's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,662
TNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to allTNTBudSticker is a name known to all
Good advice: If ever attacked by a bear, your chances of survival are greatly increased if you are also a bear.
TNTBudSticker is offline Quote


Old 06-28-2020, 03:30 PM #5085
armedoldhippy
Senior Member

armedoldhippy's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennessee, hell yeah!
Posts: 10,940
armedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivorarmedoldhippy is a survivor
Quote:
Originally Posted by TNTBudSticker View Post
Good advice: If ever attacked by a bear, your chances of survival are greatly increased if you are also a bear.
or faster than the folks with you...
__________________
smoking more pot is NOT the answer to my problems. my problem is that i need more problems that smoking more pot IS the answer to...
armedoldhippy is offline Quote


Old 06-28-2020, 07:46 PM #5086
vanilla dutch
Member

vanilla dutch's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: usa
Posts: 826
vanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to beholdvanilla dutch is a splendid one to behold
how do u call the cops? you dont
__________________
Pic's or it didn't happen
vanilla dutch is offline Quote


1 members found this post helpful.
Old 06-30-2020, 01:46 AM #5087
lamenamenumbers
Member

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: under fir and cedar
Posts: 275
lamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud oflamenamenumbers has much to be proud of
Great news guys! I got my dream job at the guillotine factory. I'll beheading there shortly.......
lamenamenumbers is offline Quote


1 members found this post helpful.
Old 07-05-2020, 09:40 PM #5088
Vash
Ol' Skool

Vash's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,674
Vash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivor
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender

'Micheal O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy

'That little skinny O'Connor?,' says Sean. 'How could he do that to you? He must have had something in his hand.'

'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible beatin' he gave me with it.'

'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself tha' same. Didn't you have something in your hand?'

'That I did,' said Paddy. 'Mrs. O'Connor's breast. And a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.'
Vash is offline Quote


13 members found this post helpful.
Old 07-13-2020, 08:02 PM #5089
KGB47
"It's just a flesh wound"

KGB47's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NorCal
Posts: 1,155
KGB47 has disabled reputation
A Texan, A Floridian, and a Californian all die and

go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

The Texan asks to call Dallas and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so the Texan writes him a check.

Next the Floridian calls Miami and talks for 30 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so he writes him a check.

Finally the Californian gets his turn he calls Sacramento and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When the Texan hears this, he goes ballistic and asks the devil why the Californian got to call Sacramento so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, "Since Gavin Newsome took over, the state has gone to hell, so it's a local call”.
__________________
"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government".....
KGB47 is offline Quote


2 members found this post helpful.
Old 07-24-2020, 06:50 PM #5090
Vash
Ol' Skool

Vash's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,674
Vash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivorVash is a survivor
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me: "I have no idea!"

Officer: "So, you're drunk."

Me: "But I didn't drink anything."

Officer: "Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?

Me: "A motorcycle."

Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me: "I have no idea!"

Officer: "As I suspected, you're drunk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me: "So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer: "A prostitute of course."

Me: "Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend.
Vash is offline Quote


6 members found this post helpful.

Post Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 04:53 PM.




This site is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
You must be of legal age to view ICmag and participate here.
All postings are the responsibility of their authors.
Powered by: vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.