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Weird - Wacky - Funny News

armedoldhippy

Well-known member
Veteran
that things head looks more like a Nile Perch or something. check out that jaw! that aint yer basic buglemouth bass...:woohoo:
 

MicroRoy

Active member
Outraged Oklahoma lawmakers say they'll move quickly to change a loophole in the state's forcible sodomy law after the state's highest criminal court found it doesn't apply to cases where the victim is unconscious or intoxicated.
 
R

Robrites

World's tiniest cell phone is popular with prison inmates, who are buying buttloads

World's tiniest cell phone is popular with prison inmates, who are buying buttloads

World's tiniest cell phone is very popular with prison inmates, who are buying buttloads of them

BUTTLOADS!

This is believed to be the world’s smallest phone – and there’s a not-all-that surprising reason why they’re proving popular with prison inmates.

The Zanco Fly is said to be the world’s smallest mobile phone – with a tiny 0.66 screen.

It’s for this reason that prisoners are buying them from Amazon, and then hiding them inside themselves.

They’re proving pretty popular too, with one review stating that the phone is ‘very small and easy to hide’.

Another simply claims to have ‘put it up my butt with no problem.’

Former prison inmate Carl Cattermole, who created a guide to prison survival at prisonism.co.uk, said that smuggled phones were ‘everywhere’ in prison.

He said: ‘Things like iPhones are rare in prison. Most phones go up a bum at some point or another, so f**k an iPhone 6 Plus, or, rather, don’t.

‘You’d look like Spongebob Squarepants: a rectangle with limbs hanging off. Having said that, I knew a dwarf who plugged a Blackberry.’

http://metro.co.uk/2016/04/19/this-is-the-worlds-tiniest-phone-and-its-unsurprisingly-popular-with-prisoners-5828253/
 

shithawk420

Well-known member
Veteran
I bet they get a nice warm tingley feeling inside when it vibrates! Lol kinda reminds me of that guy who smuggled in a handgun in his fat rolls
 
I

IndicaIsland

Deadly Spider Bites Man’s Penis On Toilet, Worst Fears Realized

Deadly Spider Bites Man’s Penis On Toilet, Worst Fears Realized

What happened to a construction worker on a portable toilet in Sydney, Australia, will make your skin crawl. God knows what it made his skin do.

The 21-year-old man was bitten on the penis Wednesday by a poisonous redback spider at a job site, the BBC reports.

According to a story in the Adelaide Advertiser, paramedics rushed to the scene but the victim got to the hospital on his own.

“He somehow managed to get alternative transport to hospital,” an ambulance spokesman says.

The victim was treated and later discharged, the BBC writes.

Like its close relative, the black widow, the female redback has red markings and is toxic. It often lives in urban areas and results in 250 cases a year in Australia that require antivenom, the Australian Museum notes. “They can cause serious illness and have caused deaths,” the museum says.

A 22-year-old man is believed to have died from complications of a redback bite earlier this month, Newsweek reported. Before that, no one was thought to have succumbed to a redback bite since antivenom was introduced in 1956, the outlet said.
 
R

Robrites

Man With Tom Brady Helmet Tattoo Arrested For Narcotics

Man With Tom Brady Helmet Tattoo Arrested For Narcotics

No one can say Victor Thompson is not a Tom Brady fan — not when he has the helmet of the New England Patriots’ quarterback tattooed on his head.


Thompson got the elaborate ink job done in 2008, according to Barstool Sports.


Now, his unique tribute to Brady has gone viral, thanks to a mug shot showing four sides of Thompson’s “Patria-tat” stemming from an arrest in St. Petersburg, Florida, last month.


Thompson, 46, was busted Sept. 10 for possession of Spice, the synthetic marijuana, according to The Smoking Gun.


The suspect told police that he purchased the “Master Kush” Spice “from a black male for $15” at a downtown park. He also told the cops he did not know the drug was illegal in Florida, claiming it was still legal in his home state of New Hampshire, from where he had moved just three weeks prior.


New Hampshire actually banned the sale of synthetic marijuana in 2012, according to UnionLeader.com.


Thompson was charged with felony drug possession and trespassing. He is being held at the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1500 bond, the New York Daily News reports.


The jailers took the extra step of taking four separate booking photos of Thompson so that his tattoos could be memorialized for possible future identification purposes.


The tat includes Brady’s number, 12, an American flag and the NFL logo and even a small green dot to indicate a helmet that, if real, would have a headset allowing Brady to hear plays from his coaches.
picture.php
 
I

IndicaIsland

No one can say Victor Thompson is not a Tom Brady fan — not when he has the helmet of the New England Patriots’ quarterback tattooed on his head.


Thompson got the elaborate ink job done in 2008, according to Barstool Sports.


Now, his unique tribute to Brady has gone viral, thanks to a mug shot showing four sides of Thompson’s “Patria-tat” stemming from an arrest in St. Petersburg, Florida, last month.


Thompson, 46, was busted Sept. 10 for possession of Spice, the synthetic marijuana, according to The Smoking Gun.


The suspect told police that he purchased the “Master Kush” Spice “from a black male for $15” at a downtown park. He also told the cops he did not know the drug was illegal in Florida, claiming it was still legal in his home state of New Hampshire, from where he had moved just three weeks prior.


New Hampshire actually banned the sale of synthetic marijuana in 2012, according to UnionLeader.com.


Thompson was charged with felony drug possession and trespassing. He is being held at the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1500 bond, the New York Daily News reports.


The jailers took the extra step of taking four separate booking photos of Thompson so that his tattoos could be memorialized for possible future identification purposes.


The tat includes Brady’s number, 12, an American flag and the NFL logo and even a small green dot to indicate a helmet that, if real, would have a headset allowing Brady to hear plays from his coaches.
View Image

He's a purty one!
 
R

Robrites

A 112-mph chase ended when the driver fled with a monkey on his back, police say

A 112-mph chase ended when the driver fled with a monkey on his back, police say

Sometimes you just can't get the monkey off your back. And as a man arrested near Burien, Washington, can tell you, it can lead to some serious legal trouble.

Police in the area gave chase when an unnamed man was spotted driving 112 mph on Highway 509. He soon lost control of the car, crashing into a large rock on South 128th Street, police said.

When theycaught up to the speedster, police found the suspect with a monkey perched on his shoulders. Witnesses at the scene said the man had to run back for his primate pal after first fleeing the vehicle alone.

According to the Burien Police Department, an investigation was launched to determine whether the man or the simian was behind the wheel. (Was that an episode of "CHiPs?" I feel like that was an episode of "CHiPs.")

Burien police posted the story on their official Facebook page.
http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/05/man_flees_112_mph_chase_with_monkey_on_back.html#incart_river_home
 
R

Robrites

Police: Stop calling drug dealer’s phone, we’re trying to search it

Police: Stop calling drug dealer’s phone, we’re trying to search it

ALLIANCE, OH (WCMH) – Police in Alliance would like prospective drug purchasers to stop calling a suspected drug dealer’s phone so that they can search the device without being interrupted.

Police arrested Steve Notman Tuesday night after they say he was seen on video selling methamphetamine.

Police are trying to search through texts and contacts, but they say that the constant stream of calls and texts is “really annoying.”

In a very tongue in cheek Facebook post, police said, “First of all, he is all out of drugs for tonight. Secondly you don’t need to call – we will come to you soon enough.”

Police also say Notman’s ringtone is terrible.
 
R

Robrites

Forest Grove police log: Cops unable to locate Santa Claus

Forest Grove police log: Cops unable to locate Santa Claus

April 15

- Police received a report than a woman took several coffee creamers from a local convenience store. After being confronted by the convenience store manager, the woman pulled out a creamer from her pocket and paid for it. No other creamers were seen in her pockets.

- A caller reported seeing a suspicious vehicle parked in a residential area, possibly dumping trash in the road, and that the driver had gotten out of the car and moved to the back seat. Officers contacted the young couple in the back seat of the car who were talking and playing Candy Crush.

- Officers attended to a customer at a separate local convenience store, who was acting strange and trying to find a cab from the shop. The woman told officers she was brought to Forest Grove by Santa Claus, who had paid her $50 for sex. Police were unable to locate "Santa" or verify the story, but officers assisted her in calling her a cab to take her back to Hillsboro.

April 16

- A man walked into Safeway, retrieved a chair from an eating area, and passed out in it in front of Customer Service. Police transported the man to a detox center after they determined he was on heroin and marijuana.

- Police were called after a man got into a fight with his father and punched him several times. When officers arrive, the son obtained a knife and challenged officers to shoot him. A taser and pepper spray was deployed to subdue the man who was then taken into custody.

- While investigating a disturbance in a parking lot, officers were directed to an unconscious female covered in vomit. The woman was transported to the hospital by ambulance.
 
R

Robrites

Cops deploy StingRay anti-terror tech against $50 chicken-wing thief

Cops deploy StingRay anti-terror tech against $50 chicken-wing thief

Whaddaya mean abuse of privacy?!

Police in Maryland, US, used controversial cellphone-tracking technology intended only for the most serious crimes to track down a man who stole $50 of chicken wings.

Police in Annapolis – an hour's drive from the heart of government in Washington DC – used a StingRay cell tower simulator in an effort to find the location of a man who had earlier robbed a Pizza Boli employee of 15 chicken wings and three sandwiches. Total worth: $56.77.

In that case, according to the police log, a court order was sought and received but in many other cases across the United States, the technology is being used with minimal oversight, despite the fact it is only supposed to be used in the most serious cases such as terrorism.

StingRay devices work by impersonating cellphone masts, so nearby phones connect to them and automatically hand over their unique ID numbers, allowing investigators to track the handsets and their owners by location.

Annapolis police never found the thief but he represented just one of 17 occasions on which the city of 40,000 people used the device in 2011.

Its use is far more prevalent in larger cities. The Philip Merrill College of Journalism's Capital News Service found that Maryland State police has used a StingRay at least 125 times since 2012. Howard Country, which lies to the south of Baltimore and with a population of 300,000, has used a StingRay 129 times since 2011. The police in Baltimore City have used its StingRay an extraordinary 4,300 times since 2007, sparking an investigation and review of 2,000 of them.

New York City has used its StingRay more than 1,000 times since 2008.

Restrictions

There are strict restrictions on use of the device because it sucks up information on any mobile phones in the area, raising privacy concerns. It is also capable of effectively shutting down a specific phone, forcing it to be reset, or causing a service blackout in an area.

An outcry over the enormous use of the device by Baltimore City police led to a change in the law that required the cops to get a court order before carrying out surveillance except in extreme circumstances. But even with that law in place, information remains very limited on where and for what the devices are used and what is done with any data gathered.

The lack of a federal law also means that the rules around StingRay use vary widely across the country, with some states, including California, placing strict limitations around it, and others requiring minimal justification from law enforcement.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/05/04/cops_deploy_antiterrorist_tech_against_50_chickenwing_thief/
 
R

Robrites

Great-grandma, 80, guns down intruder after crowbar beating

Great-grandma, 80, guns down intruder after crowbar beating

SULTAN, WA --
An 80-year-old great-grandmother shot and killed a home intruder after he beat her husband with a crowbar.

When she saw her husband in distress, Barb Moles rushed to get her gun, a .38-caliber pistol. When the robber came around the corner, she shot him three times.

Deputies say the robber, 25-year-old Steven Sheppard, died at the scene. Investigators believe he intended to burglarize the Moles' home.

Barb's husband, John, has been in the hospital in the intensive care unit for the past week. Doctors were afraid he had a concussion, but he is expected to survive.

Barb said, "You know, never in my whole life did I ever anticipate having to take another life - especially at age 80. Give me a break here!"

But it's something Barb tells local station KOMO that she'd do again in a heartbeat to defend the family she loves. She said, "I felt like if I hadn't, my son and I might both be dead and my husband might have bled to death on the kitchen floor."
http://abc7chicago.com/news/great-grandma-guns-down-intruder-after-crowbar-beating/1326680/
 

Green Squall

Active member
Israeli man files for restraining order against God

Israeli man files for restraining order against God

His prayers will now certainly go unanswered.


An Israeli man who believes God has been unkind to him asked a court for a restraining order, but the judge tossed out his request calling it “ludicrous,” the Times of Israel reports.


The man, from the northern port city of Haifa, represented himself in court. He said he'd been trying to get the restraining order from police for the last three years. Instead, they sent patrol cars to his home roughly 10 times, the Walla news site reported.


The man claimed God exhibited a negative attitude toward him. Local reports didn't explain exactly how he knew that.


Bizarrely, the notes did state that God did not appear in the courtroom.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/0...training-order-against-god.html?intcmp=hplnws
 

Slim Pickens

Well-known member
Veteran
I bet they get a nice warm tingley feeling inside when it vibrates! Lol kinda reminds me of that guy who smuggled in a handgun in his fat rolls

I was going to crack wise about buttloads of cell phones...gerbils texting the SPCA...and Richard Gere,but thought better of it.Besides,that would maybe be buttloads of Gerbils wouldn't it?They might be on cell phones too for all I know.
 

rockymountainJ

Active member
No one can say Victor Thompson is not a Tom Brady fan — not when he has the helmet of the New England Patriots’ quarterback tattooed on his head.


Thompson got the elaborate ink job done in 2008, according to Barstool Sports.


Now, his unique tribute to Brady has gone viral, thanks to a mug shot showing four sides of Thompson’s “Patria-tat” stemming from an arrest in St. Petersburg, Florida, last month.


Thompson, 46, was busted Sept. 10 for possession of Spice, the synthetic marijuana, according to The Smoking Gun.


The suspect told police that he purchased the “Master Kush” Spice “from a black male for $15” at a downtown park. He also told the cops he did not know the drug was illegal in Florida, claiming it was still legal in his home state of New Hampshire, from where he had moved just three weeks prior.


New Hampshire actually banned the sale of synthetic marijuana in 2012, according to UnionLeader.com.

The faces of Meth lmfao.... really that guy must be a.... fanatic
Thompson was charged with felony drug possession and trespassing. He is being held at the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1500 bond, the New York Daily News reports.


The jailers took the extra step of taking four separate booking photos of Thompson so that his tattoos could be memorialized for possible future identification purposes.


The tat includes Brady’s number, 12, an American flag and the NFL logo and even a small green dot to indicate a helmet that, if real, would have a headset allowing Brady to hear plays from his coaches.
View Image

Lol faces of Meth.... must be a real fan to want to look like a real doucher....
 
R

Robrites

Police: Man kills brother in argument over burger

Police: Man kills brother in argument over burger

A Florida man is accused of killing his brother over an argument that involved a cheeseburger, authorities say.

Benjamin A. Middendorf, 25, shot his older brother during the dispute Thursday night, police said in a statement.

The fight started after the victim Nicholas Middendorf, their mother and a third man returned from a night of drinking, according to a police report

"I just shot my brother on accident," a man could be heard yelling on a 911 call released by police in St. Cloud, Florida.

"We were in a fight and I grabbed a gun and I shot him. Oh God," Middendorf said, still screaming. "I'm so sorry."

A woman's voice could be heard on the 911 call telling the operator, "I'm going to kill my son."

"I hope you go to jail," she also said.

Nicholas Middendorf, 28, was pronounced dead at the scene.

'The mom has lost two sons'

Spokeswoman Denise Roberts of St. Cloud Police confirmed to CNN that the argument involved a cheeseburger. She did not provide additional details.

"It is Mother's Day Weekend, and the mom has lost two sons," Roberts told CNN affiliate Central Florida News.

Middendorf is facing first-degree premeditated murder charges. CNN is attempting to reach the suspect's attorney for comment.

Suspect appears in court

The younger Middendorf told authorities his mother and older brother had been out drinking when they came home late Thursday night, according to the police report.

Middendorf, who said he does not drink, got in an argument after his brother "bullied him," the report said. He said he did not remember much after that.
 

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