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A ryhme I wrote a few weeks ago

Newbie95

Member
What do you do when the emotions you have bottled up are all ready to burst the glass, I'm going to break and this feeling just won't pass. Just when it seems like it's getting better life comes through and knocks me on my ass. I'm 22 years old I'm still check to check praying that God will come and take my ungrateful ass out of debt. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to go on and that's no threat, I'm just saying I haven't had a prayer answered yet, and that's not going to change I'd be willing to bet. I am sorry for complaing but it's like nobody seems to understands my pain, everydays a battle and my Spirit feels the strain
 

Dog Star

Active member
Veteran
Dog Song

As dawn gilded the burlap row
Of bags in the old grain shed,
A bitch there birthed a litter in snow:
Seven pups with fur all red.

Till night she caressed them round
With her tongue combing them neat,
And meltwater trickled down
Under her belly’s heat.

At dusk, when in the henhouse dimly
Hens roost on their perching rack,
The master came out grimly
And laid all seven in a sack.

She bounded across drifts to the river,
Hurrying after his step…
And long, long the smoothness quivered
Of the unfrozen water’s ebb.

When back she came, barely trudging,
Licking sweat off her fur,
The moon rising over the thatching
Seemed one of her pups to her.

Up she stared, softly whining
At the sky dark-blue and still.
The moon slid by, slim and shining,
And vanished behind the hill.

And like when they mock her, throwing
Not meat but pebbles cold,
Dully, dog eyes went flowing
Down in snow like stars of gold.


Sergei Jesenin





Is this a thread on depressive songs..?? ;D



Am rare crying but Dog Song from Jesenin made me whip like little girl....
 
T

Teddybrae

More of like a fed up song. I get depressed but I'm not depressed




Very Old Man here ... I have a lifetime of experience of conditions like yours.


I think you're STUCK!


change something about your life ... perhaps the rest of it will follow.


and someone here wrote elsewhere, get up from the computer and go for a walk!


OH! and has anyone in your life died recently? and you just shrugged it off? don't just shrug things off! Have a Cry!
 

Newbie95

Member
Very Old Man here ... I have a lifetime of experience of conditions like yours.


I think you're STUCK!


change something about your life ... perhaps the rest of it will follow.


and someone here wrote elsewhere, get up from the computer and go for a walk!


OH! and has anyone in your life died recently? and you just shrugged it off? don't just shrug things off! Have a Cry!

No recent deaths and I do have a social life I'm active I'm just financially strained money isn't everything but I feel like without money I can't be happy because I'm stressed out worried about how I'm going to pay my rent my power and put food on the table for me and my fiance mostly everybody I know has somebody or something to fall back on I have family but they're all just as broke as me so asking them for money it would just make me feel guilty cuz I know they're going through the same thing and I usually work overtime at my job I work like crazy I'm a slave and I've known that for a long time now that's what he needs to change but I f***** up my childhood and it's hard to get my adulthood lined up so i can get a job where I don't have to slave for a check to check paycheck cuz I legitimately feel like I work harder than anybody else that I work with and it is very stressful when you feel like you're the only one who cares and takes pride in your work
 
Idk how to write songs for real I can't think of the beat in my head or a hook and I have no rhythm I wish I could. I can write lyrics that's about it

I went to college for music. The rhyme does a good job capturing what it's like being in your 20's. The rhyme flows well so far, so it should be easy putting it to music.

I am in debt & don't have music equipment anymore, so I'm not much help... but if you have any music questions, lemme know. I suggest posting on a local forum (ex. Craigslist) and see if any musicians want to work with you.
 
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